Tried to pick up girl with long distance boyfriend

[eddie500]

OK, normally I don't bother with girls with boyfriends.. if they have one i just move on and don't waste my time. Why bother, there are lots of other girls out there without boyfriends.

 

But I came accross an interesting situation yesterday.

OK, I'm over here in Germany for the time being. So I met this german girl and we were talking, I forget how it came up but she mentioned that she had a boyfriend and the guy was in SPAIN.

 

So I just love to interogate people with long distance relationships. Because I'm very negative when it comes to them, because they mostly never work.

 

SO I just pressed her with the obvious questions like, do you really expect it to work, do you really want to live in spain or do you think he really wants to live here in Germany.

 

I hit her with the question what happens if you met someone right here in our city, wouldn't you rather be with the new person who you can actually see and be intimate with.

 

Her only answer was, "I'm in love with him".. but she said it kind of unsure.. and I could tell she was really not sure about anything. But I could be wrong, she did say "I'm in love". But I got the feeling she was agreeing with what I was saying. SHe hadn't seen the guy for 3 months.. and they had no prospects to see each other any time soon.

 

This girl was rather pretty and attractive, so I decided to try and push things a little further. I really didn't care about the outcome etc. So after talking a while more, I said to her "I'd love to test your loyalty to this guy"., "how about we go out a few times just as friends and we will see how loyal you are". This was a lot to say but what the hell right? If you want to pick up girls your going to have to take risks.

So she said in response "OK, yes, but just as friends". Right there I could of asked her for her E-mail or phone number.. but I thought since I wasn't leaving I'd wait and ask for it later.

 

SO I left to the other table. After sitting for a while I just decided not to want to pursue anything here.. Mostly becuase I'm leaving Germany soon and didn't want to get involved again in another relationship..

 

But just some comments would be nice, do you think I could of won this girl over? I mean she basically OK'ed meeting as friends. I also had the feeling she liked me. So, you think I could of picked her up eventually? SHould I of tried eveN?

[BellaDonna]

I would leave that one alone.

 

Every relationship is different and for some people long distance relationships can work.

 

If she was feeling vulnerable/lonely- you may have had a chance, but she would just end up being hurt in the end, and since you're leaving soon anyway, there would really be no point. Even if she liked you and wanted to consider seeing you, you'd just leave her in the same predicament and you'd be far away just like the guy in Spain.

 

If you want a fling before you leave, it's probably best to find someone who isn't already taken. (Who knows, maybe you'll end up in a LONG DISTANCE relationship yourself if you meet someone and really like them )

[mikeyc77]

Definitely leave it alone.

 

I'm in a long distance relationship and it takes a lot of work to keep things going. The thought of some guy trying it on with my girlfriend while we're apart sickens me.

 

There are plenty of girls out there, flirt with a single one!

[RayKay]

Leave it alone...you do not know all the circumstances and for some LDR's DO work as both want it to work. And whether it is to work or not, it should not be because you intereferred in it. She is still a woman IN a relationship whether person is there or not. Sometimes there are valid reasons for distance and both partners communicate well and have accepted the distance for the moment for whatever reason.

 

Maybe yes she was feeling lonely and might have been more vulnerable - I don't know her, but not necessarily as many when they say "just as friends" and "I have a boyfriend" and "I love him" do mean it even if they are several hundreds of miles away.

 

And in any case how fair is that..it would of just been a "conquest" for you, right, since then you would of left anyway and since you don't "believe" in LDR's where would that have left her?\

 

Even if you don't agree with her relationship status, she WAS in one.

[chai714]

So, you think I could of picked her up eventually? SHould I of tried eveN?

 

This is pure speculation. Could you have picked her up eventually? Maybe, maybe not. I'm leaning more toward "maybe" though from your conversation with her. Should you try to pick her up and get her to cheat on her boyfriend? What do you think? My prediction is that she will cheat, but does it make it right to get her to cheat just because she's in an LDR?

[DropToZero]

Yea I agree with your philosophy on people in long-dist. relationships, they are hard to keep working. But like the above people have said...you're better off not getting mixed up into it, less drama...heh

 

I met many girls in my first year of college that had ldr b/fs'...and I think at the end of the year only 1 still was with him...out of like 10. And one of the one's who broke up near the end of spring quarter I've contemplating going for, but I dont know, we're just really good friends right now, not sure if I want to ruin that or not.

[socalguy123]

A different dose of reality:

Her boyfriend in Spain may already have moved on. She may be holding on to something that's already the past for him. I mean, as others have said, it sounds like the girl is open. Open to what, I'm not sure.

 

I hate to put it this way, but, it sounds like you COULD have pursued it, and maybe got her to cheat. But then again, who knows if her boyfriend in Spain isn't already cheating. Now, to be sure, would you feel good or bad, having been a catalyst to this woman's indiscretion?

 

Maybe I'm a little sour on the milk of human kindness. But I think, from the sounds of that story (3 months separation, without definite plans for meeting any time soon?) I'd think there was a little naivete going on.

 

I guess I'm going through a cynical phase. But hey, part of that cynicism is seeing what's exactly there, in front of you, in front of her. And, at that time--you were in front of her!

[Rainy]

Ldr are hard work, but id never cheat in a normal relationship and i certainly wouldnt cheat in a long distance one either, Its never once entered my head,

 

I think you should leave well alone,