Confronting a Compulsive Liar

[BCBoy81]

Hey all.

 

You may or may not have been following my tales of recently talking to my ex after almost a year of No Contact. While things are still on shakey ground, even in just 2 days of talking to her I've noticed she still stretches the truth about herself. She did this through-out our previous "relationship" and she's still doing it. I'm thinking it's time to confront her about this because I honestly don't think she realizes the damage she does to even just friendly relations by doing this. It was the major contributing factor which lead to my breaking things off with her. I'm an honest fella and I just could not tolerate the BS any longer.

 

My train of thought is: With a Lie, there is no Trust. With no Trust, there can be no Love.

 

She's supposed to come over tomorrow morning for me to help her with a few things on her car. I thought this might be a good opportunity to talk out a few issues. What would be the best way of approaching the topic?

 

(My personality would choose the most direct route, but this isn't always the most considerate)

[annie24]

I dunno.... You're the ex, it's done and over with. I doubt she would take what you say to heart, especially if she is a compulsive liar. Ultimately, it's your call, but I think it may be best for you if you just leave her alone. Didn't you call her crazy in a post a few days back?

[BCBoy81]

She's definitely not the most intelligent being 27. Crazy? Not legally--- yet. But you do bring up a point with the whole "ex" thing. I guess I should've tackled this topic with more force when we were an item.

[annie24]

Well, the other thing is you said you had 1 year of NC. You don't know - she may have changed during this year! Or she may not have. I think you would be being presumptious to tell her what her problem is if you haven't talked to her in a long time.

[BCBoy81]

Just in two days of talking, she's already lied to me a handful of times. She's denied things when I know in truth, they DID happen. She even slipped up and let the cat out of the bag.

 

Like, if she DIDN'T sleep with the last guy she was with.... why did she go for AIDS testing?

 

Simple things like that. Sad to say, she hasn't changed.

[annie24]

If I were you, I would cancel the car-fixing thing, and just not see her ever again...

[heloladies21]

Drop the case. It's over.

[BCBoy81]

Well believe it or not, we had a long talk tonight and I confronted her nicely about the BS. And you know what? She started being honest with me and she told me a LOT of what happened over the past year and the surprising thing was - it matched the info I was given. I'm pretty satisfied with that. I was glad to finally hear it come from her. Hopefully, she'll keep it up and be successful down on the coast.

 

I guess sometimes, some people just need to be told their doing something wrong. I just pray she keeps up the honesty.