different "cliques"... post your opinion: part 2

[Stinkweed]

Hey everyone,

 

This is my second post about this topic. I came up with some of these questions, because I have seen how ppl are sometimes judged for the "clique" they belong to and sometimes they aren't even given a chance (and I know 2 things about that: number 1, in some places that's more true than in others... for example, in my school here, the weirdest stuff happens. But that's a long story... And number 2, I know that ppl who judge you like that, aren't worth your time). And also because I myself, wanted to change my look (and as I said before, it's gonna be something original that I haven't seen around, cause I don't really belong to any "clique" but instead try to make friends from various cliques). What I have in mind. Associating with lots of "cliques" because of who they are, not which one they belong to. I wouldn't even be thinking about cliques and such if it wasn't for that simple question: Would girls from different cliques (they don't have to be goth, or metalhead, punk rocker... just anything, including "preppy") give a guy who looks like he's from a different "clique" the same chance they'd give a guy who's from their same "clique"? Or is it just that much harder for, say, a punk rocker to date a preppy girl?

 

And in my last post, someone posted something that I've been thinking about. He said that what matters is that you look good and you have personal higiene, and you just act confident and act funny (no disgusting or "your mom" jokes, and as long as you know when to be serious too), and you'll be able to get any girl.

 

So, then, what's "good" looks then? What if I wanted to dress up like a goth guy? Would I look "bad" to a preppy girl? Or would it depend, like he said, on higiene and "neatness"?

 

Also, I know I posted about my slight dilemma with weight (which I'm working on), so, I guess that too has some influence with my decision. I wanna lose weight (and I'm certain this time, this summer, it's gonna happen... At least 2/3 of what I wanna lose, I will lose, and that I promise myself...), and I will change my look too. Cause I think the clothes I wanna wear will finally look good on me if I lose some weight. It won't be nothing too fancy. So, It'd be great if anyone could answer my questions and/or post their opinion... I just wanna know if my chances with girls will be further reduced or just remain basically unaffected. Either way, I'm gonna change my look, so don't worry. Best wishes.

[kskm]

In high school I was friends with anyone- it didn't matter what group they were classified in. But some people wouldn't talk to me because I was a cheerleader and they thought that I was a stuck up snob just because of that.

 

I think that your real question is will a preppy girl like a goth guy right? Well there is no specific answer there. Every girl is different. I personally don't like guys that dress like that- but if you have a bangin personality that overcomes the way that you dress- and you put yourself out there as a nice guy then maybe she will like you.

 

You should however dress the way that you like to dress- not to fit in with anyone, just be yourself. I would work more on the inside then outside with that. Girls like funny sweet but tough guys. ( I can't think of one girl that doesn't like humor in their life, or a nice guy- but not too nice, a little toughness is required lol). But it is also good that you are working on your wieght just because of health reasons. Good luck!

[Stinkweed]

I think that your real question is will a preppy girl like a goth guy right?

 

Well, yeah, that's is kinda my question, except that's just an example, cause I'm not goth, and don't plan/intend to be... I was just wondering if what could the consquences be? Would it get in my way when socializing or trying to get a girl? But as I said before, either way, I will change my look, cause it's what I wanna do, and it's the way I like to dress, just like you said, not to fit in with anyone.

 

Oh well, I guess it won't make much of a difference. After all, I think girls find me creepy anyway and I guess I dress pretty much "normal" (you know, a black or blue shirt, jeans... nothing special...). So why bother trying to look "good" if I still look creepy? I'd rather dress the way I want to, then.

 

And thank you very much for replying. I don't really get that many replies. Best wishes.

[kskm]

If girls are thinking that you look creepy then it's probably not the way that you dress- it's probably more like the way that you look at people. Maybe you stare too much? Or look away too fast? Or hunch... I guess the list goes on and on. Try initiating an interesting conversation, dressing nice (not for other people but yourself- when you feel like you look good it shows- you exude confidence) standing up straight and smiling.

 

That is a good start.. good luck!

[Stinkweed]

Hey, I'm not complaining... I just don't think it'll change things that much anyway (for good or for bad... most likely for bad...), lol. On the other hand, maybe you're right. A while back I couldn't even really look into some ppl's eyes... I know, that sounds stupid, but I guess I got over it, cause I don't need to turn away really fast like I used to. Well, it could as well be a little bit of the other stuff you said too... Anyway, now I just look for a lil bit longer than before and slowly turn away cause it just happens by chance. And if I find defiance in the other person's look, I just give off my defiant look, and if they smile, I smile back. Anyway, about the dressing nice part: I could do that. If you say that dressing the way I want no matter how "different" it is, as long as I feel confident is a good start, then I could do that.

 

Cause what I had in mind was just keep being friendly, etc (and like always open minded... I wouldn't befriend ppl because of their "clique", cause if I did, I'd only have like 1 real friend, and that'd suck...). I would only change my look to something that goes better with my personality/face/hair... So, it'll be something pretty much original... If I act nicely and smile, like you said, do you think I'd stand the same chances with girls (and ppl in general)?

[Kitz]

Im not really part of a "clique" either, im the sort of friends-with-everyone person lol. I think that the way I dress would be preppy, although sometimes I like to bring out the eyeliner and my "comfy" clothes and I probably look a bit preppy punk, I dunno. XD

But goth guys can be hot.. it doesn't matter that they're goth or whatever, just the way that they look generally (like if they're attractive anyway, or whatever). As long as you dont dress nerdy/hippie and have a hunch. (because that is an instant turn off!)

 

But yeah, goth guys can be hot. I might be getting goth mixed up with punk, I dunno.. I think it might just be because of whichever group that it is, they usually have eyebrow piercings.. I LOVE EYEBROW PIERCINGS and every guy should get it done!!!

Lol... i'll shoosh now.

[Stinkweed]

Well, that was actually pretty interesting that a "normal" girl finds goth guys attractive... I mean, I hope there's more girls with open minds out there, lol. It'd be good if there were. And I also hope I can get some more replies from ppl and also I'd like to listen to what more girls my age have to say...