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Came across a Box of ex-girlfriend stuff. What would you do?


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So, the short of it is, I went out with my ex-girlfriend for about 2 1/2 years, but we broke up about 2 years ago. During the 2 1/2 years I was with her, we made lots of memories of course, which were all captured in cards, pictures, gifts of several sorts, a promise ring...

 

Well, when we broke up, I put all these things in a box and put it in storage, never to be seen. Until this past weekend, when I had to move out of my current place. I came accross the box and opened it up (mistake maybe?), I was reminded of all the memories that we had together. I actually broke down and cried...

 

If you were to ask me, am I over this girl? I think so. One can never be certain, but one thing is true, I haven't gotten into another relationship as serious as this previous one. I've dated several girls since I broke up with this ex, and I don't think I have any issues with that. But the thing is, none of the relationships I have been in since my aformentioned ex has been anywhere near that great. So why am I so emotional over this box? I'm still struggling with that. Is it that I want to get back with my Ex or is it that I just want to get back into a serious relationship? Probably a little of both.

 

So anyway, my question. I actually wanted to tell my ex about me finding the box, how it reminded me of the past, and all the feelings/thoughts that came over me as i went through the box. Do you think this is a wise decision? She's been with another guy for over a year now, but I just felt like telling her... What does everyone else think?

 

Another piece of the story, we still do occasionally talk, on the phone mostly. So, its not like I haven't seen her in 2 years.

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Next time you talk ask her if she wants it back. If she does, then arrange how to do that. If not, ditch it and move on.

 

Seems to me that you are not entirely over her and that is perhaps affecting other relationships. Maybe you need to examine that.

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I have a box with memories and momentos from a 5 year relationship. We have been apart now for a year and I just opened it the other day. I also cried. He was all I knew for a very long time.. my first love.

 

I however, don't think that it's a wise decision to tell her how you broke down.. mainly because she doesn't need to know that youre not completely over her.

 

I also wouldn't give her back the box. They are your memories, I am going to keep mine forever- just stuck in the attic where I can't get to it easily.

 

My current boyfriend saw mine the other day for the first time, when we were packing things up and he was like wow- I have a box too. I looked through his- they were pictures of his ex wife and all kinds of stuff and he looked through mine. Then we put them together in another box and tucked it away in the attic. I think it'll be a cool thing for my children to one day go through and see old pictures of me and him and stuff.

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I find it curious that people want to just act like the past never existed. I can see a point in not dwelling on it, but if I threw all the stuff away that involved the ex, there would be a ten year hole in my personal history. Some day when the emotions aren't so close to the surface, it might be interesting to reminisce.

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well.. if things ended on amicable terms i would mention it to her, why not... who says you cant share these things with her. If she makes no comment than s o be it.. but since you are still talking, maybe it will add to the conversation. I wouldnt just pick the phone up and call her out of the blue, maybe next time she calls. And it does not have to lead to anything other than sharing memories.... nothing wrong with that.

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I think that its ok to keep those things, another person wrote that later when youre more over her you can think of the past good experiences...its good for the soul sometimes, but now isnt a good time to mention it to her. if she were not in a relationship it would be different, but i know if i were her boyfriend currently, i sure wouldnt like the fact that you were talking, let alone talking about that kind of thing with her.

 

Just put it up, and know that those things you kept helps you remember positive things in your life...not negative things.

 

I still have pictures of my ex-wife in a box, and a few cards she sent me. I dont look at them too often but when I do it helps me remember who I am today and what ive been through in life with relationships.

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Yes & NO

Yes- if you feel the reason you are telling her about what happened is to kind of rekindle what you had.

 

No- if you're trying to move on.

 

I think the question you need to answer yourself is what kind of result am I seeking if I tell her?

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i say throw it away.....ii mean if she wanted any of that stuff im sure she would of gotten it by now. i recently maybe a few weeks ago threw away all exbf stuff, i even had stuff from past past bfs. I had this crap all stuffed in the back of my closet, and for what? to open them and think back to the happier times, and then be reminded about how they crushed my heart? nah

 

i took pictures ripped them, threw out stuffed animals, i shreded the journal that i wrote in everday after my more recent exbf and i broke up......i really didnt want to read that ever again and im even about to sell some jewerly that i have gotten from exbfs. might as well make some sort of profit. i have to tell u it made me feel better to throw that stuff away.

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It seems we have quite a few different points of view on this subject. I don't think I'll make an effort to tell her "out of the blue". That being said, I think I'll mention it to her the next time we talk, whenever that is. As for the part about me crying... I think I'll keep that to myself (and enotalone, haha).

 

As for the box of stuff. I don't think I can throw that away. First of all, I'm a pack rat by nature, so I like to keep memories around. Second, no matter how much it hurt that we broke up, she was a big part of my life. We definitely left on amicable terms, that's why we still talk these days. I'll definitely just keep that stuff locked up in the box, just not open it up.

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