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Operation...Darth Vader?


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No no no, I am not a Star Wars fanatic in any way (I like the movies though). But if anyone saw Episode III, they saw the dramatic rise of Darth Vader. I am hoping for a "dramatic rise" as well, but a little different.

 

What am I talking about? Well, so far in high school, I have had no success with girls, although I have tried on numerous occasions. My friends somehow do decently well (although they don't even "flirt" as much), but I am almost "neglected" by the girls at our school. I also have a lot of "in-school" friends, but not many "out-of-school" friends; thereforeeee, I do not go to many parties or go out with girls too often. This frustrates me because I should be considered a bit "popular" since I won Homecoming Prince two years in a row. But, the contradiction of Homecoming and the fact girls don't take particular interest in me had me stumped. Also, as I said before, I don't have a ton of friends either. Well, I figured it all out...

 

My "big popularity" is a fake, and I am getting played!

 

I am not an outcast by any means, I also feel I am not as "popular " as I may have originally though. I still get along with the guys well, but when some of the more popular girls act "nicer than usual" towards me, it seems like an act, and it usually is. The fact that girls tend to see through me and not even see me at times calls for a change, a BIG, DRAMATIC CHANGE.

 

1.) Become bigger, faster and stronger - After school ends in a week, I will begin a rigorous off-season routine with running and lifting. Although I have an OK body now, I need to get bigger, faster (for track), and stronger if I really want to succeed IMO. When I come back to school in September, I'll hopefully be getting a few looks from the chicks.

 

2.) Gain an attitude - First, read what I wrote here ( link removed ). Sure, that is decent, but I want to modify it a little bit. I'll keep the good, but also change some other things to make it better. The biggie is gaining an attitude. Sometimes, I can seem to be a little too "nice" to people, since I never really get mad. Well, I need a bit of an attitude to gain respect. Right now, I feel I don't get too much respect from some of my peers (AKA girls). With more of an attitude, I will. I will become more confident and show no fear. I can't let anyone get in my way.

 

3.) Change the look - While I am not ugly, I will probably change my look a little bit, for the better. I just got a hot pair of sunglasses (Oakley's), which I will wear when it is really sunny outside. I feel the eyes reveal more than almost anything, and with these sunglasses, no one will be able to tell what I am thinking - I won't be easy - rather, mysterious. It can also look more "cool" and even intimidating." Again, I'll only wear them outside when it's sunny. Also, I may get rid of my cap - if I gel my hair a little, I will look better. If I feel the cap is OK though, I'll keep it.

 

4.) Gain more confidence around girls - I mentioned this before, but this can be the most important. I feel I get "played" by girls all too much, and I need confidence. If a girl is "playing" me, I fall into her game and seem to become almost desperate just to try and get her. With more confidence, I can just brush it off and it won't affect me one bit. I hope to see into her traps an exploit them and I want to show I am the one in charge - this all comes with confidence.

 

My goal is to not be looked down upon and get some respect! I feel I am short on it now, but after this, things might change.

 

What are your opinions on this?

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A little change is good, it's how we figure out who we are. As long as you're being yourself. You seem like you're a nice dude, just don't turn yourself into an arse trying to get respect, that will only get you disrespect. I think your main problem is you worry too much about what people think of you. If you worry less it'll make a huge difference, trust me.

And about those "in-school" friends, why not try to hang out with them outside of school? Or hell, make new friends even. Don't worry about girls, just keep your patience and a good eye...she'll come around.

 

And remember, stay true to yourself.

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First off, loose the attitude. A man with Confidence is so much more attractive in a guy. With confidence you'll earn your respect that way, not with some "shove off, jerk" attitude.

 

Don't let these girls rule your life. It's good to find a look that fits you. Make the trends, don't let the trends make you. You should get into shape for track and for you. Your team deserves someone with determination, and perserverence. If a girl doesn't see past your looks, forget her. Besides I think baseball caps are HOT! Keep the gel for being inside, like school.

 

You seem like a great guy, change can be a good thing, but don't go on an overload.

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If your going to work out or do anything, do it for you and no one else. Popularity is overrated and if girls are seeing through, then they are being shallow and aren't worth your time. From everything you've written to me you sound like a great guy, why change yourself just to fit in or get notice? And how will you know that any respect you get will be real? If people are the type to play games with others or gossip behind someone's back, they are going to do it no matter what you do. You may even inadvertantly give them something to poke fun at, talking behind your back about how you've changed to fit in. Don't worry about what others thinks. All that matters is that you like the person you are.

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I said a few days ago I was done posting here but this site is just so darned addictive.

 

To DaxMan:

 

Despite what other's say, I myself say MORE POWER TO YA!!! Good luck in making this transformation and your plans for Operation Darth Vader seems good.

 

I know you're supposed to be true to yourself blah, blah, blah but heck if you can't beat them then join them I say. Wish I could turn to the "dark side" but I'm too much of a chicken. LOL

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Oh my God the sky has fallen. Pigs have grown wings and are flying in the sky. Joker compromises with Batman, John Moyer has produced testostrone, there is someone out there who likes BOTh elvis and the beatles, and finally both me and shy agree on something. What next? Jews and Palestinians will make peace and share a beer together? Muslim extremeists and Americans will come to love each other? Chevy Chase and Ben Affleck will become successful movie stars again? I now am beginning to think anything is possible.

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Definition of respect:

 

You give none, you get none.

 

What is that supposed to mean? I never said I don't give respect (which I do BTW) - I just said it seems like I don't get much of it.

 

Anyway, I think you guys gave pretty good advice.

 

I am going to do these things I mentioned for me (like the lifting, etc.), but I will keep this frustration in my mind, just as a reminder. The school I go to seems like a high school you would see in a teen movie (ex. The New Guy), so that may be why I seem so concerned with the way people view me. Our school is pretty chaotic. With the attitude, I don't want to be a big jerk - I just want more of a backbone and to not give in to as many things. If I am a little "too nice", I need a bit of an attitude to help me. Oh yeah, for WhatDoYaDo, I may keep the hat on since most of my hair (except for the front) is too short to get "gelled".

 

Mainly, I am just very frustrated. When I think something is going to work with a girl, it doesn't. Some of my friends have no idea what the he** they're doing, but get the girl and if I try something that works for other guys, I don't succeed. It also irritates me a bit when girls walk up to my friends and dance with them (at a dance) or start talking to them...when I'm right there! They just ignore me, which is one factor of my motivation - usually, one of my friends nearby has to almost push the girl towards me for anything to happen!

 

On a side note...Just today, I some girls talking to two of my friends - For the first one, I have never seen him talk to a girl in three years of high school,, but a couple girls came up to him and one put their arm around him. As for my other friend, he is a bit weird (looks weird too), but one attractive girl in particular keeps talking to him.

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Keep the hat! Your worth it. Besides stop worrying about whose getting the girl while your not. While your focusing on that you could actually be loosing the opportunity to get the girl yourself. Confidence will work. Be courageous, change want you want. Become who you want to be.

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Napoleon,

 

Most of those things have already happened or will be happening within the next 5 years, I'm part psychic. But come on, Chevy Chase and Ben Affleck will become successful movie stars again? Your dreaming on that one.

 

DaXMan, maybe your just trying to hard or are to concerned about this. I've told you this before, one day, before you know it, you'll have to be fighting girls to stay away from you. Your too far ahead of the game to get noticed by them right now, there not up to your level. Don't be frustrated, even though its easy to be, have yourself a nice laugh knowing that these girls will one day be lining up to go out with you.

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Napoleon,

 

Most of those things have already happened or will be happening within the next 5 years, I'm part psychic. But come on, Chevy Chase and Ben Affleck will become successful movie stars again? Your dreaming on that one.

 

DaXMan, maybe your just trying to hard or are to concerned about this. I've told you this before, one day, before you know it, you'll have to be fighting girls to stay away from you. Your too far ahead of the game to get noticed by them right now, there not up to your level. Don't be frustrated, even though its easy to be, have yourself a nice laugh knowing that these girls will one day be lining up to go out with you.

 

Thanks for the encouragement ShySoul.

 

My one question would be "How would this happen?" I mean, yes, it's possible but it seems like a really big change. When do girls usually drop the preppy football star in favor of the "well put-together guy" - college?

 

That's my one real question about your logic...how such a change would occur.

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Hey MAN ! This is good ! You' re working on yourself . . . Making yourself a BETTER PERSON ! I think this is exactly what you need .

 

People will say be yourself . . . Blah . . . Blah . . . Blah . . . Yes be yourself . But there' s nothing wrong with IMPROVING YOURSELF !

 

Become bigger, faster and stronger Sure, why not ! Its good for your health . . . and it' s more attractive .

 

Gain an attitude and Gain more confidence around girls Sounds good ! Just don' t become a JERK ! Just get more confidence period and the confidence around girls will come natrually !

 

Change the look

Why not make yourself look cooler ! It add to your confidence ! I like to have a few different styles . I don't limit myself to just one !

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Thanks Randy - the encouragement really helps! You seem real upbeat about it too lol.

 

 

My one question would be "How would this happen?" I mean, yes, it's possible but it seems like a really big change. When do girls usually drop the preppy football star in favor of the "well put-together guy" - college?

 

That's my one real question about your logic...how such a change would occur.

 

This quote I have above is for anyone (not only ShySoul) so if you have and answer or just anything you want to write about this, feel free.

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/quote] My one question would be "How would this happen?" I mean, yes, it's possible but it seems like a really big change. When do girls usually drop the preppy football star in favor of the "well put-together guy" - college?

 

That's my one real question about your logic...how such a change would occur.

 

Since I am the only girl responding so far...lol...

I had a head start because I got to learn early that the "preppy football stars" suck! They are jerks...sure they may not all be but (I really am trying to be nice here) it just so happens that every single one I've met (and that is A LOT!!) are big head, egotistical jerks.

 

Me and you are the same age, some girls just now begin to get the clue...some unfortunitly it'll take a little bit longer. We, girls, do make things complicated and I stand to that. Sorry.

 

Well I am all in favor for the "well put-together guy." Sounds great to me!! Hopefully the girl of your dreams will get a clue and fall in love with you...the "well put-together guy."

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My one question would be "How would this happen?" I mean, yes, it's possible but it seems like a really big change. When do girls usually drop the preppy football star in favor of the "well put-together guy" - college?

 

That's my one real question about your logic...how such a change would occur

 

If I could answer how, I would have unlocked the greatest mystery of our time.

 

Seriously, the how isn't really a specific process or action or event. It's that annoying thing called "growing up." There is no timeframe or moment when girls suddenly get it. It's more of a gradual build, I think, until one day they realize what they want in life and the kind of guy that will give it to them. I know I've been blasted for saying stuff like this, and I've been told that girls never do change. Some say that girls will always go for the stronger, faster, more "attractive" guy. They will always go for the "jerk" or the one with the power or attitude. And yes, sadly some always do. Like anything else, people mature and different rates. Some girls know from the start they want someone like you, even though those girls are rare and its rare that she meets with a guy that thinks that way to. With some girls it may only take one bad experience, with others it could take many. Some girls just want to get wild or date around while they are young. And some continue their attraction to the wrong type of man much longer then they should. But most do eventually wake up and by then you will be everything they could want... smart, caring, sensitive, and successful to boot.

 

Same is true for guys. Some guys like us are ahead of the curve. That usually means we get overlooked because everyone else is still trying to figure out the race while we are looking towards the finish line. It can be lonely, annoying, and frustrating. Not much of a reward for being that kind of guy, huh? But in the end, you'll still come out ahead. What would you whether want, to fit in now but have to wonder if they only like you because you became their ideal guy or to stay true to and believe in who you are now even with the rejection and benefit in the future?

 

Oh, and here's some motivation for you. You might not remember this cause of your age (boy I feel old saying that), but think about some old milk commercials. You had a small, scrawny guy drinking his milk while telling the bullies that they would regret treating him like that. The kid gets older and bigger until we see him as a man with a beautiful girl by his side and all the other guys watching on. So you will be noticed and these other guys will be wishing they were in your shoes. Just remember to drink your milk.

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Shysoul, I give you props man.

 

I was young, real young and I learned the hard way (it probably wasn't that hard considering I dumped them and all, but it's a long story..guys get bored easily) and it took me a couple of times to face the reality, but I learned.

 

Try to be patient. I promise the end results will be better. Yeah, I'm still waiting for the guy, but hey I know that I've grown and realized I deserve so much more, so when I meet the "well put-together guy" I know he's grown too. It'll work.

 

Shysoul, yeah trying to figure out girls would be solving the greatest mystery. Sorry we make it difficult, but ya'll can be difficult to you know...we just happen to be a little bit more difficult that's all.

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DaXMan - Do not get up tight about what is going around you. I would bet that the reason girls are not talking to you is becuase of your body langauge. I bet you that your friends that have girls talk to them have body language that says "I am open to a conversation" and not "I want your attention NOW dam it!". It is great that you want to work on your self in a lot of areas, but you need to do it for you, not to do it to get girls. Quite frankly girls are more attracted to a guy that wants to improve him self than a guy who wants to improve him self to get girls.

 

Also why are you so up tight about this any way? Its high school for god sake. Quite frankly you should be taking the time to watch and learn how your friends interact with these girls and see what they do that makes the girl wanting to approach them and talk to them. I am not saying that you should change your self into what your friends are, but just see how they go about things and see what you can use and work on to improve your self. You have an open book to read from here, freaking take the time to read it and learn. I don't think you will have any better chance to learn such things about girls, becuase down the road you may have totally different friends or you won't be able to learn from them.

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Perhaps what he is already doing works, it just takes time to come to its ultimate conclusion?

 

LOL no offense but IMO if it is working then you would see conclusions by now or at least progress. From what it seems he's not making any progress b/c he keeps getting the same results. I know your views shy but not everyone is willing to sit and wait around for things to happen. If at the very least there's no signs of improvement then something is wrong with the process.

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And yet when it does finally pay off the affects are better then anything I see anyone else doing. How else do you explain at least five girls liking me or being interested in me in the last few months when I haven't changed a thing? Seems I've had more progess then most. There's nothing wrong with the process, the problem lies in not meeting the right type of girl.

 

And he is making process, its called improving one's self and becoming proud of who you are. Others can't like or accept you until you begin to fully understand and accept yourself.

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DAZman, dude, I swear, you sound just like me, man. I want the change too, man. I really want it. The only thing is that I don't think I'm in a good shape (I'm working on it whenever I can, though... rainy days like today are very common now, but I still get to work out pretty often, thank God...), and I dunno if that's it, but there's just something that makes me not like myself the most... It's like most of the last half of last year (junior year... that also is a problem, cause I wanted to try... get a shot during highschool...) I didn't have interest in pursuing any girls because that got in my way. Well, I couldn't stand a girl touching me (not that they'd wanna either, lol), cause I don't like my own body. So I figured I should get in shape to change that one. And well, man, another issue of mine is being kinda bottled up and trapped in a shell... I swear it doesn't let me be ME whenever I socialize and meet someone the first time... I dunno how to work on that one over the summer... I had a "job" which was more like a volunteering thing, but it's over now, cause everyone in that office is gone till august 2nd. I would've liked to get a real job, but I'm going to be on a trip (besides, there are other reasons that are not my fault, which I'd rather not discuss...). I posted about that one, and got the answer of going to a place where ppl might hang out... and I dunno if many ppl my age are around right now (they might be travelling...), but I could find out where they hang out, etc (plus, I know some places...)... Wouldn't know what to do, though, in those places, cause it's like ppl I'd be talking to for the 1st time and it'd be on the street, and I'd be trying to make a friend (or should I just try to do it for socializing's sake?), etc...

 

About the the football guys part, I think that's crap... Like the hispanic girls (there are tons of them here... it's like 45% hispanics in my school... including me, even though I don't hang out with them that much...), they don't seem to like football guys or REALLY "preppy" guys... Dunno, It's just what I've concluded from observation. And same's for every other girl. Of course there are those who do like the football guys, but it's not like they're majority either, thank God... I guess most of them would pretty much agree with an abover poster (sorry I don't remember the name ). I dunno man... I guess things are not going really the way I wanted them to... But man, it could be worse... I could be just lying there all day, getting even fatter... Thinking about doing all this stuff, but not doing it (something i'm sick of doing... it's time to act!). Feel free to pm me man. I might be able to help you a little (even though I guess I need help myself, lol). So, I guess we could help each other and give each other tips. Good luck and best wishes.

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if it works, then do it. if not, try another way.

 

Perhaps what he is already doing works, it just takes time to come to its ultimate conclusion?

 

Ah, but working or not is decided by the objective of his actions. If his objective had a time frame, and it did not work within the time frame, then it failed.

 

Of course, I'm not trying to speak for him or what he wants. It's completely up to him.

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