I am having the hardest time! Why did he call?

[lelou]

I am so mad!

 

I already wrote a post about this last night and got some good responses, but the thread was deleted.

 

Basically, my ex called after a month on NC. He called last night and said he wanted to congratulate me on my new job and a couple of other small things. Those were his exact words, a couple of other small things. Then he said he should probably just e-mail me and that was it.

 

For those of you who don't know what I've been going through you can read my last posts. But a lot of you already know the story.

 

I am just having a really hard time tonight. I really miss the guy I knew for 12 years. And it makes me so sad to think of what he transformed into the last eight months. We had such a strong relationship for so long. And then we let stress and life separate us that last year and it makes me so sad we didn't fight more. And it makes me even more sad that after all that time he treated me so bad that last weekend!

 

I was, and am doing, fine. It is just hard b/c when he calls I know there is that part of him that is sad too. But then I also know there is that part of him that left me to be with another girl b/c it was easier. And all I wanted was for him to fight for me! But he just moved on even though I know he loves me (he tells me, in fact anybody, that he will always love me like noone else). But he just couldn't deal with life, and instead opted to go to someone who would not question him.

 

I wish he would have never called (even though for so long I wished he would). And I know he isn't going to e-mail me like he said. he will get wimpy again and think I just moved on 100% and don't care. I know him. He'll just throw himself back into this other girl.

 

Bottom line is I am not going to call him. It kills me to not even e-mail him and say if you are going to call me and say you are going to e-mail me, then do it! He knows I am in NC to heal myself. But he called anyway. Sometimes people just make a mistake. And he made a lot of them this year and unfortunately they affect me.

 

Sorry about the rant and rave. I just have to get it out. I hate the night time sometimes b/c I miss talking with him.

[newts]

This man will always have relationship problems, if he finds comfort in somebody that doesn't question him it will only a matter of time until he leaves her for the same comfort again.

 

When people say they will always love somebody like no other, I think what they really mean is they will care for that person like no other. If you truly loved somebody, you wouldn't want to be with anybody else. So try not to pay attention when he tells you he still loves you.

 

When you have such a long relationship with somebody whom you loved, it's very hard to let go of that security and comfort.

 

There are better people out there waiting for you, I know you must feel lonely, however, there will be somebody else out there for you who will make those lonely nights warm and comfortable again.

 

Good Luck and keep healing.

[sidehop]

12 years is a long time...even after three years with my ex it was hard enough to let go.

 

Don't believe what he's telling you...people do this all the time saying how much they love another like no other...if he did, he wouldn't have left you.

 

I'm praying you'll find the happiness again and for you to heal completely Keep your head up!

[lelou]

I did it. Days later, I wrote him an e-mail! I couldn't help myself! At least I kept it short and sweet! All I said was I thought you were going to e-mail!

I shouldn't have, but I did! And when he doesn't e-mail me I'll be pissed off!

 

Oh well, I can't stand him anyway.