Need answer pleaaaase before i screw everything up

[AlwaysNeedHelp]

hiii guys,

 

Still me and this girl... and the problems goes on..... The last time we talked on msn we were so honest to eachother..... she said she likes me as a friend.. i told her yeah we can be friends however it sounds silly for me.. Anyways, Remember when i was trying to make this signs that i like her... i have found that she didnt get it at all... Before i tell her i was trying to make her know that i like her...

 

She even said that she thought that i hated her she is not lying i know... she said i used to make fun of her and stuff, so she thought that i dont like her... So what i understood... She only likes me as a friend... i asked her do u like someone else more than a friend, she said no... Anyways, she didnt expect this at all... that i like her in that way... she said she wants us to be friends.... I think i wasnt so good in making the signs...

 

I feel terrible about her, iam always thinking about her and i really think that we could be very good together.. i dont want to be her bf.. i want to marry her...

 

So here is the deal... should i just be her friend, wait and when the time comes i tell her again that i like her ?? All people well tell me sorry u r in the friends zone and u wont get out... but iam really not that close friend to her... We dont talk to each other alot except on msn.... so ??

[smallworld]

Hey Always, Although this wasn't the outcome you wanted, it's good that you understand how she feels. If she thought you hated her it means there wasn't enough positive interaction (flirting, conversation about shared interests) going on between you. Teasing + Ignoring her = Dislike.

 

Attraction is like a plant that needs to be nurtured and watered every day. This is why many of us advised you to spend time getting to know her and show her in small ways that you like her – to build trust, affection, and attraction. If you can do this in person vs. msn (to avoid miscommunication) that would be better and more fun!

 

No one can say what will happen next. She might fall in love with you or she might not. But unless you make the time and effort to woo her, things aren't likely to change. Ultimately, you're the only one who can say if you're willing to keep trying. Good luck!

[AlwaysNeedHelp]

thanks for ur reply, yeah i want to try again.. If she likes me as a friend, this could give me a better hope.... I didnt get this person vs msn thing...

 

I really need help in details what should i do ? because i really feel that iam going to screw things up... the last thing i told her on msn.... Is look you do whatever u want and what u like.. i wont do anything again.

[AlwaysNeedHelp]

i know that i really will screw things up... pleaaaaase give me details about what should i do /?? talk to her noramlly ? act friendly ? dont talk to her ? what hsould i tell her if she talked to me ? after i told her that i like her, she was the one who always begins the talking on the msn.. but face to face she dont talk that much... i do mostly the talking... anyways,

 

I think i cant blame her at all that she wants us to be friends... she dont know me that well, she even thought that i dislike her... she always says to me that iam mysterious... so she dont know what to expect to from me... could this be a some reasons she said let us be friends ?? and what should i do in details please coz i really wont give up ..

[ShySoul]

First, calm down. Right now what you are feeling is not love, its somewhat of an obssession. As great as she might be you can not possibly love her to the point where you want to marry her. If you come off like that then it will only scare her away. You need to be friends with her, just like you would with anyone else.

 

Follow everything smallworld said, I couldn't have said it better. That's what I was trying to tell you about ignoring her, it didn't show interest it just made her confused and hurt. Any interest she had may have disappeared by you doing that.

 

Also, your problem is right here: she said she likes me as a friend.. i told her yeah we can be friends however it sounds silly for me

 

You say you want to be her friend and that you know you need to, but your not acting like a friend would. Your saying being friends is silly, still letting her know you want more and are dissatisfied with being friends. That's not going to help her opinion of you. In telling her to do "whatever you want" it comes accross as you being upset with her and angry. That combined with wanting to rush things so fast and the ignoring her games you played does seem mysterious and she doesn't know what to think of you.

[AlwaysNeedHelp]

i said it sounds silly for me... so she know that iam not satisfied by only being friends and that she wont put me in the friends zone forever....

 

I really dont know what is she doing... if she dont like me why the hell she likes talking to me on msn... i even try to answer in a short sentences and she tries to begin talking... If she didnt like me even if she likes me as a friend she wont act like this coz things between us could be sensetive... but no she is acting so friendly...

 

Iam afraid if i act friendly as i act with other people, she wont think of me the other way.. and she would like me as a friend forever... The only way is to give her a space to know me better, get closer and to really dont make her confused.. How should i do this ?

[smallworld]

Thanks Shy!

 

Always, you sound hostile towards this girl. When you get angry with her for not knowing how she feels, you look silly and immature. This girl still doesn't know you very well, so how can she tell you how she feels?

 

Ask yourself: If a girl likes you, how would you want to be treated by her? Would you want her to ignore you? Tease you? Stop talking to you? Get mad and tell you "Do whatever you want. I will never do anything again!"?

 

Again, "Teasing + Ignoring = Dislike."

 

There are no guarantees in life, but -

If you want her to be your friend, treat her like a friend.

If you want her to fall in love with you, treat her like the love of your life.

 

Talk to her. Be interested in who she is as a friend and as a woman. Open doors for her. Carry her books. Make her laugh. Pick her flowers. Tell her she looks pretty when she does. And most of all get to know her better than anyone else ever will - Her interests, hobbies, opinions, ambitions, and dreams. These are the little things that make a woman fall in love with a man.

 

Finally, two things –

 

1. It's a very positive sign that she keeps initiating the Msn conversations and typing smileys to you. This means she's interested in knowing you better and is open to the idea of you possibly becoming her boyfriend. Give her a chance!

 

2. "In person" = face to face

[AlwaysNeedHelp]

thanksss very much.. that was too helpful for me.. yeah i agree with every word u said... she cant say i like u when she dont know me that well and she even thought i hated her...

 

I will try to get to know her better and she knows me better... thanks

[smallworld]

thanksss very much.. that was too helpful for me.. yeah i agree with every word u said... she cant say i like u when she dont know me that well and she even thought i hated her...

 

I will try to get to know her better and she knows me better... thanks

You're welcome! I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you both!

[ShySoul]

Always, I can't really add much. Follow small's advice. But I will say that her initating conversations online is a great sign. She likes you enough to want to talk to you. Even if it does end up as being friends, thats better then ignoring her to the point where she loses any interest in you.

[AlwaysNeedHelp]

i agree !! Thanks guyssss.. i hope things would change to the better later... thanks again..

[randy]

So here is the deal... should i just be her friend, wait and when the time comes i tell her again that i like her ?? All people well tell me sorry u r in the friends zone and u wont get out... but iam really not that close friend to her... We dont talk to each other alot except on msn.... so ??

 

u know it' s not that great being in the FRIENDS zone if you want to be MUCH MORE THAN FRIENDS . . . BUT it is possible to get out of that zone . Keep on teasing her . . . make fun of her ! Keep her laughing ! Be confident in yourself ! Look at yourself and say " is there anything I can do to IMPROVE MYSELF INSIDE AND OUT " ? Eventually she may start seeing you as more than a friend ! Just don' t act toooo needy and be PATIENT !

 

good luck MAN !

[AlwaysNeedHelp]

guys really i have a big proble... now iam not in the same country.. i traveled so there is no chance i meet her before a month at least.... anyways.

 

we talked on msn yestarday aloot and there waasss no sentence from both of us didnt have a a simely u know... but the most important thing is she iss sooooooooo friendly and enjoys talking to me... which leads to two propabilities... first that she just decided and think that i totally understand that we will be friends forever.... or the second propability is that she wants to know me better or at least just act nice and see how things will work...

 

My mind tells me, even if she thinks the first choice(friends forever ) and that i understand this and i wont try again.. she wouldnt act like this and that friendly... becasue if a girl i dont like said that she likes me i iwll never try to make a thing which can get her a wrong idea bout my feelings or would make her think that i like her.. i think u know what i mean.. again i will wait and act normally and friendly and see what happens next may god be wiht me...