If you were 27, a virgin, and about to start your sëx life for the first time...

[BlueSky200]

...what would you do different this time around?

It's the position I'm in, and I want to hear from women who have been there, done that, that if they magically woke up one day my age and my position, how they would date and begin their sëx lives?

[Batya33]

I was 24.  I'd been sexual for years, never had intercourse.  I think I would have been more assertive. Although my boyfriend and I had discussed it and been dating a long time (I had wanted to wait till marriage but changed my mind) that night was -pressured -pressure from him -he was so upset about waiting any longer. I then agreed. But I think I would have enjoyed it more if I hadn't that particular night. But I definitely consented. I would have done nothing else differently.

[Coily]

Not a woman, but here's my take.

I was 29 years, 11 months, and 28 days when I lost my virginity. I made sure it was someone I loved and cared for; who was kind and generous. Yes sex is great, but having sex with someone you care about; now that's amazing and positive.

Have sex when you are ready, not when you are expected to. Anything else... is a duty not a joy.

[Batya33]

1 hour ago, Coily said:

Not a woman, but here's my take.

I was 29 years, 11 months, and 28 days when I lost my virginity. I made sure it was someone I loved and cared for; who was kind and generous. Yes sex is great, but having sex with someone you care about; now that's amazing and positive.

Have sex when you are ready, not when you are expected to. Anything else... is a duty not a joy.

I agree with this. Best sex I ever experienced overall was when I was engaged. Also - trying to conceive was also really fun and exciting!

[yogacat]

I don't regret my sex life. I've waited three months in a long term relationship, to the 4th date in another and both times were equally amazing. 

[ShySoul]

I was a virgin at 27, and much older then that. Didn't matter. I wouldn't change a thing about that part of my life, or any other. Every experience has made me a part of who I am today, someone that I think is a decent and caring person. I like who I am. I wouldn't want to change anything, especially something as deeply personal as sex.

When you have sex isn't important. What matters is that it is with someone you love. What matters is the bond and connection between the two of you, making sure it is with someone you share a deep affection and respect with. What matters is that you are both ready and both willing to share yourself in such an intimate matters - body, heart, mind, and soul. 

With the right person you will know it's right. You will know it's time. And you will be just fine. 

Don't worry about it. Don't stress of think you need to do anything specific. Make sure you are fully ready and that it is with the right person. Then be in the moment and enjoy. The rest should follow naturally.

[BlueSky200]

1 hour ago, yogacat said:

I don't regret my sex life. I've waited three months in a long term relationship, to the 4th date in another and both times were equally amazing. 

That's awesome, genuinely, but if you woke up tomorrow under my circumstances, how would you move forward then?

[BlueSky200]

Oh, @yogacat.... 

[yogacat]

13 hours ago, BlueSky200 said:

Oh, @yogacat.... 

Whaaaaaaaat. 🙂

[waffle]

I was in high school and it was someone I worked with at McDonald's.

But at 27, I'd probably wait til marriage actually.

[catfeeder]

On 1/9/2025 at 9:33 PM, BlueSky200 said:

...if you woke up tomorrow under my circumstances, how would you move forward then?

I would meet men to date through a combo plate of online sites and real life, but I wouldn't feel a need to plot my sex life. I'd wait until I found the right loving, committed relationship. Casual sex wouldn't interest me.