BackHome Posted January 7 Posted January 7 You all know about the red pill and its strategies for men to be more cool, attractive and have an ability to continue the relationship. I mean… Some being non-needy strategies, Some texting strategies, Some strategies on dates, Some escalation and kissing strategies, etc… What do you think about all these?
Batya33 Posted January 7 Posted January 7 2 minutes ago, BackHome said: You all know about the red pill and its strategies for men to be more cool, attractive and have an ability to continue the relationship. I mean… Some being non-needy strategies, Some texting strategies, Some strategies on dates, Some escalation and kissing strategies, etc… What do you think about all these? Yes if those men or women are looking to hook up sexually and especially if they're trying not to get attached emotionally. So to continue a sexual arrangement maybe some people need that. I don't think it's about being cool if the goal is something potentially long term. It's about noticing when you feel insecure/needy in the beginning of a dating relationship you're excited about -so many of us do -I did !- and then reacting by not overwhelming the person you just met with your insecurities which aren't really "you" -they're you in this vulnerable situation. So it's choosing not to double text for example, not to ask needy questions of a new person, to let that person carry 50% of the efforts even if you're doing the asking out (meaning observing if she reciprocates with interest and enthusiasm about seeing you). It's about being blunt with yourself -are you into her because she is unavailable -thrill of the chase -or "out of my league" or are you genuinely interested in this person? Unless it's the latter don't bother. If it's the latter then in a very natural way you will be motivated to give attention to that person in a good way because if you're interested in getting to know someone you're interested in getting to know how they like to interact over a period of time. It makes it much more natural IMO. 1
Circe Posted January 7 Posted January 7 41 minutes ago, BackHome said: You all know about the red pill and its strategies for men to be more cool, attractive and have an ability to continue the relationship. What do you think about all these? Oh yes.. I know them and I have thoughts. Follow these and you’ll get a woman to desire you out of anxiety and self loathing. Follow these and you’ll never have a woman who loves and adores you for who you are. We love and adore kind, generous, loyal, loving men. We feel so lucky to have men who value and adore us and make us feel special. We respect and honour men who understand our complexities. That we are humans with our own traumas and difficulties and triggers just like them. If you want real love.. try and create a heart to heart connection with a woman based on sincerity, mutual respect and admiration and care. If you want an easy way to make a woman desire you based on anxiety, fear and insecurity - follow red pill. 1
yogacat Posted January 8 Posted January 8 I've heard about the third date rule. That if a woman doesn't sleep with you by the third date then she's not interested or she's not worth it. I think that's a harmful mindset. OTH, there is so much dating advice out there that I don't think it's right to lump it all together under one label. Some of it can be harmful or manipulative, but some of it can also be helpful and empowering. The key is to take what works for you and leave what doesn't. And also to be aware of when someone is trying to manipulate or control you using these strategies. 2
ShySoul Posted January 8 Posted January 8 No one needs any techniques or strategies. At best they will tell you things that should be obvious (be respectful to them and yourself). At worse they are cruel forms of mainpulation to try and get you what you want. It becames about prying on someone's weaknesses or insecurities. It becomes an excuse to be entitled and feel that a person owes you something because of your behavior. It's all a bunch of nonsense that hurts more people then it will ever help them. In the end, every relationship will be different. Every person is different. No strategy is going to work for everyone or on everyone. And the more you focus on what you should be doing, the less focused you are on actually being in the moment with the person. What counts is the interactions you have together. It is finding the unique dynamic between the two of you, finding what works for the two of you. What anyone else thinks or does doesn't matter. If it works for the two of you and you are happy, then you are fine. The saying is everything you need to know you learned in kindergarten. Think that applies to even relationships. Things like honesty, communication, kindness... that means more then any strategy. Also think most people internally know this already. They just need to have the faith that they know what to do and not give into the temptation to listen to every external source. Ditching strategies and just staying true to you? Now that's cool. 😎 2
Coily Posted January 8 Posted January 8 A different take: I look at these "dating strategies" as tools. Some men have very few tools in the box, and they need some insights as to things that they may not be aware of. So reading/listening to how other people approach the dating world can be very helpful. The trick is, and always has been, discernment in how to use that information. When a dating strategy tells you "be confident and get the dream babe;" it however doesn't tell you that you need to develop real confidence* not a veneer. Some strategies are complete trash, others provide a new way of thinking. They should never be used as a step by step guide, people aren't paint by numbers; neither should your approach. Also some people need a boost in their confidence, and a strategy helps break past that mental barrier. Being rejected is hard, it bruises the ego, and makes it hard to get back out there. If a push helps get you thinking about lessons learned when things go awry. * When it comes to confidence, it becomes about sharing what you know, and your interests with a passion and a bit of authority. I remember being told "just be confident" and that was it. It's usually a worthless throwaway to get unhappily single men to shut up. 4
Batya33 Posted January 8 Posted January 8 49 minutes ago, Coily said: A different take: I look at these "dating strategies" as tools. Some men have very few tools in the box, and they need some insights as to things that they may not be aware of. So reading/listening to how other people approach the dating world can be very helpful. The trick is, and always has been, discernment in how to use that information. When a dating strategy tells you "be confident and get the dream babe;" it however doesn't tell you that you need to develop real confidence* not a veneer. Some strategies are complete trash, others provide a new way of thinking. They should never be used as a step by step guide, people aren't paint by numbers; neither should your approach. Also some people need a boost in their confidence, and a strategy helps break past that mental barrier. Being rejected is hard, it bruises the ego, and makes it hard to get back out there. If a push helps get you thinking about lessons learned when things go awry. * When it comes to confidence, it becomes about sharing what you know, and your interests with a passion and a bit of authority. I remember being told "just be confident" and that was it. It's usually a worthless throwaway to get unhappily single men to shut up. This is what I did and how I used strategies and tools - came in handy for me personally as I tended to get excited/insecure when I first met someone I was interested in. So "being myself" was not really "myself" and certain strategies and tools helped me be more centered and grounded and not overwhelm the new person. 1
catfeeder Posted January 8 Posted January 8 1 hour ago, Coily said: They should never be used as a step by step guide, people aren't paint by numbers; neither should your approach. Yes, this ^^^. If you condition yourself to using a 'technique,' each woman will throw you off your 'game,' because she's different from every other woman. I don't know what your definition of 'cool' is, but putting on an act will turn off any thinking woman. Don't shoot for extremes. The biggest turn offs are men who put on an act and men who are lap dogs and fall all over themselves trying to please. There's plenty of space between those extremes. While the term 'friend-zone' has scared the bleep out of school-aged men, the whole basis for getting to know ANYbody is to treat them like human beings you're curious enough to get to know, just as you would a potential friend. So strike a balance--don't 'kiss up' and don't act like a 'jerk'. I forget who said, "Nobody will remember what you say or do, they will remember how you made them feel." So be curious, ask questions, and care enough to listen to her answers. Be kind instead of 'cool'. 3
ShySoul Posted January 9 Posted January 9 On 1/7/2025 at 3:52 AM, BackHome said: You all know about the red pill and its strategies for men to be more cool, attractive and have an ability to continue the relationship. The specific strategies in question are created by toxic, sexist, and misogynistic men. I can't see how following anything by people like that would be a good idea. And even if you can get one good idea from it, a broken clock is right twice a day. Doesn't make up for all the horrid things being said. https://medium.com/bouncin-and-behavin-blogs/the-red-pill-philosophy-on-social-media-is-sexist-and-misogynist-6cdc2b833491 A person should like you for you. You don't need anything else other then to be you and be a good hearted person. If it is supposed to work out, it will. That's only the advice given to me from every happy and successful relationship I've ever known, most having lasted decades. And that's helped multiple people love me. Relationships aren't a one size fits all proposition. Any strategy someone comes up with is just as likely to backfire and cause more problems depending on the people involved. The only thing that truly works is when both people involved are themselves, have sufficient feelings and sense of commitment and agree to approach whatever happens with love and understanding. 3
00doom_atyourservice Posted January 12 Posted January 12 On 1/7/2025 at 7:32 AM, Circe said: Oh yes.. I know them and I have thoughts. Follow these and you’ll get a woman to desire you out of anxiety and self loathing. Follow these and you’ll never have a woman who loves and adores you for who you are. We love and adore kind, generous, loyal, loving men. We feel so lucky to have men who value and adore us and make us feel special. We respect and honour men who understand our complexities. That we are humans with our own traumas and difficulties and triggers just like them. If you want real love.. try and create a heart to heart connection with a woman based on sincerity, mutual respect and admiration and care. If you want an easy way to make a woman desire you based on anxiety, fear and insecurity - follow red pill. This. I think the best course of action, in straight relationships between a man and a woman especially, is for them to treat each other like a human being. Too many men (and many many women too really) look at the opposite sex like they are an alien, an "other," maybe an object to conquer, something to study up on, or whatever stereotypes and preconceived notions one has about the opposite sex. Too often do people get caught up in this instead of seeing that we are not all that different. We are human beings. Many men and women have similar interests, goals, feelings and emotions, desires, traumas, that aren't exclusive to one gender. Be yourself and see the other person as a human being that probably doesn't think that different than you in some way. 1 1
ShySoul Posted January 12 Posted January 12 52 minutes ago, 00doom_atyourservice said: Too often do people get caught up in this instead of seeing that we are not all that different. We are human beings. Many men and women have similar interests, goals, feelings and emotions, desires, traumas, that aren't exclusive to one gender That goes for relationships and just life in general. So much focus is placed on diffrences and things that divide us. Not enough attention is paid to what unites us. We are one. Gender, race, religion, politics nationality... all the differences are minor in comparison to the face that we are all people who share the same feelings inside. What goes on in our hearts and souls are not that different. Wish more people would pay attention to that instead of trying to find quick answers and generalize about large groups of people. "I laugh, I love, I hope, I try I hurt, I need, I fear, I cry And I know you do the same things, too So we're really not that different, me and you" Collin Raye, Not That Different
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