Heartbroken

[rainbowsandroses]

30 minutes ago, rainbowsandroses said:

Learn ways to manage that uncertainty and anxiety on your own 

Re this^ I do yoga, I use to go running but I have a bad knee now so now I will take a brisk walk. 

May sound strange, but sometimes I will sit in the quiet, no tele, no music, phone off in complete silence with candles lit, glass of wine and just chill.

This helps a lot to calm me in my anxious moments! 

[Emmy321]

48 minutes ago, rainbowsandroses said:

48 minutes ago, rainbowsandroses said:

Because what I have learned is that a man will open up to you emotionally only inasmuch as HE wants to, on his own, without any pushing or prodding from you (which is how HE views it).

 thank you,  this is exactly how he is and before things got really stressful,  he was opening up, He wasn't pouring his heart out to me all at once but it was happening little by little  on his own time.    I have really been  giving him space and I was not expecting him to reach out  anytime  soon, if at all but he did last night. 

 

[rainbowsandroses]

2 minutes ago, Emmy321 said:

I have really been  giving him space and I was not expecting him to reach anytime  soon, if at all but he did last night. 

What does that tell you?  What it should tell you is exactly what I posted. 

Leave him be, trust that HE will figure this out on his own as a man and will reach out and open up when HE is ready.

How did you respond?  Were you happy to hear from him? 

 

[Emmy321]

13 minutes ago, rainbowsandroses said:

What does that tell you?  What it should tell you is exactly what I posted. 

Leave him be, trust that HE will figure this out on his own as a man and will reach out and open up when HE is ready.

How did you respond?  Were you happy to hear from him? 

 Yes, It made me feel very relieved. I kept it short  and sweet.  hi and hope everything is going ok....he asked how i was. I am still not going to push anything though 

[rainbowsandroses]

1 hour ago, Emmy321 said:

 Yes, It made me feel very relieved. I kept it short  and sweet.  hi and hope everything is going ok....he asked how i was. I am still not going to push anything though 

Perfect.

Don't ever push.  Observe actions and let everything play out naturally. 

If you can do this and manage uncertainty and anxiety on your own, in time you will find out everything you need to know. 

Don't ever be afraid of losing a man, that fear will cause you behave in ways that are more likely to push him away than pull him closer.

Keep us posted! 

[Emmy321]

5 minutes ago, rainbowsandroses said:

erfect.

Don't ever push.  Observe actions and let everything play out naturally. 

If you can do this and manage uncertainty and anxiety on your own, in time you will find out everything you need to know. 

Don't ever be afraid of losing a man,  that fear will cause you behave in ways that are more likely to push him away than not.

Keep us posted! 

Thank you, I will! 

[catfeeder]

2 hours ago, Emmy321 said:

5 hours ago, catfeeder said:

Yes, exactly. The guy screened himself out of your dating pool, but that only means he isn't the right match for you.

How exactly did he screen himself out of my dating pool. Are you saying all of the stuff he is  going through is a lie just to get out of the relationship with me.. 

No. A breakup simply means we stop dating the person, so they are no longer in our dating pool.

[yogacat]

When my ex was inundated with a lot of stressors I gave him a wide berth. I did my own thing more and depended more on my own friends and my and my own hobbies for fun and relaxation. I found the more I gave him some space, the more he started seeking me out again. It's fine to tell your guy that you care for him and that you are there for him if he needs anything, but don't press for his attention. Let him come to you when he's ready. 

That said, you can't be waiting on the side lines forever. Give him a few weeks or a month or so. If he's still unavailable then, well it may be time to move on. You can't be waiting forever for someone to be ready for a relationship.