Please read!!!

[Mrjaydog123]

So please help me… I’ve been in a relationship for 10 years now. Own a house together and always been a faithful and supporting boyfriend. My partner doesn’t go without. Saying all this. The last year of my life has been tough. She really doesn’t treat me well. But I’ve always sucked it up and stuck my duty of being a good boyfriend and a provider. 
 

last weekend I went out with my pals for a few drinks. Enjoying ourselfs and locked eyes with this honestly. What I would say. ***ing amazing girl. I instantly couldn’t take my eyes off her. I’ve done this in all my 10years. This girl was just amazing. I would say. Out of my league if I’m being honest. Anyways managed to get chatting and she seemed to have a great connection with me. And instantly told me she’s likes me after a small chat. However she asked my friend for my number when I was away at the loo. So on, the next morning I wake up to messages from her saying how lovely it was to meet and she had a great laugh! 
 

since this I honestly haven’t been able to get this girl out of my mind. 247 of every single day. She honestly makes me smile to myself when I think her. The shivering weird feeling and urge to chase her is over bearing me. My heart and mind and everything is telling me to go out and get this girl! 
 

could this be love @ first sight? Or am I terrible person if I go for this! 
 

honestly I’ve been the most loyal and amazing boyfriend for 10 years and I’ve put up with some terrible unfaithful things. But I care so much about hurting peoples feelings I hold myself back! But I really can’t get this out my head and I think I will regret it for the rest of my life. 

[Batya33]

You can go for it.  Break up with your girlfriend first.  Sort that out.  Take some time on your own.  Then get in touch with that person.  If it's meant to be she'll be interested and available.  As you will be too.  And if you can feel this tempted to stray and this invested outside of your relationship it's best to let her find someone who thinks the world of her.  You do not.

[Andrina]

Decent and wise people end their existing, unhappy relationship before beginning a new relationship.

Doesn't matter how crappy your partner was to you. Plus, even as you might feel like you're mentally and emotionally ready to jump into something new after being in a 10 year relationship, you're not.

In your shoes, I'd probably tell this woman something like: I need to tell you I'm in the process of ending an unhappy relationship. If it's okay with you, can I keep your number and get back in contact once I'm fully free and have had time to process everything? I'm fully aware you might not be in a position at that time to want to reconnect our communication, of course. So if that's the case, just tell me to kick rocks and I will. I hope you enjoy the upcoming holidays.

Did you ask your friend if she asked if you were single? Seems strange if she didn't. If she did ask, it shows crappy ethics on her part. If that was the case, you need to also take into account a person's ethics and not just their looks and personality.

As for yourself, break up ASAP with your gf, as you're both no longer happy nor do either of you care enough to pull out all the stops to fix things and bailing sounds just fine to you.

[shouldhavelearned]

Sounds like you're not getting your needs met at home.

 

You're letting the alcohol talk

[ShySoul]

You've been together ten years. Whatever problems there have been, you have stuck together through them. That means there are real and deep feelings there.

Why would you throw that all away for something that could turn out to be a fantasy that leads no where?

You aren't feeling the love and closeness that you want at home. You felt a connection based off of superficial attraction with a stranger, and allowed yourself to get swept away in this idea that you had met someone who would give you the things you are missing. But you don't know that. This person is someone you have just met and barely know. For all you know she could be worse for you, or eventually turn around and do the same things you are upset with your partner for doing. Maybe it would be great for you. Or maybe it would be a disaster. That is an awfully big risk to take for what is currently a pleasant fantasy in your mind?

If you are still in a relationship, then you should do everything within your power to see that relationship through. What are the issues in the relationship? What steps have you taken to work on things together? Have you both exhausted all possibilities on what could help improve things? Are you actively talking and communicating with each other, really listening to each other and striving to compromise and reach understandings? 

Someone I know called off her relationship of over a decade and immediately pursued someone else. It ended very poorly. Someone dropped a budding romance with me and immediately pursued someone else. It ended very poorly. A guy I know got out of a long term relationship and immediately pursued another woman. It was a mess.

Leaving someone, especially someone you've been with for years, and jumping right to something else tends to not go well. It's up to you to do what you're heart says is right for you. However, I would think hard on rather you have exhausted all chance with your couldn't partner. And even if you do end things with her, I would be cautious about leaping into any other relationship.

[Zaku-II]

I see a lot of advice on this forum to break up. Not saying that's the wrong advice, but before you do, you should at least ask yourself these 2 questions:

1: What would my life be like without my significant other/spouse?

2: What would my life be like if I break up with them and can't replace them?

If you can honestly answer that you feel your life would be better under both scenarios, then maybe a break up/divorce makes sense. If not, you may want to reconsider.

[MissCanuck]

8 hours ago, Mrjaydog123 said:

I’ve put up with some terrible unfaithful things

Meaning your girlfriend has cheated on you? 

8 hours ago, Mrjaydog123 said:

could this be love @ first sight?

Lust at first sight, more likely. You have no idea what kind of person she is. She might be lovely, or she might be a total nutjob. Please don't get carried away when you don't even know her. 

8 hours ago, Mrjaydog123 said:

Or am I terrible person if I go for this!

Only if you do so without breaking up with your girlfriend first. 

If you are that unhappy at home, you need to end it. There are no brownie points in life for hanging on to something that isn't working and is holding you back from happiness. If that's where you are, you need to let go. It's not being an "amazing boyfriend" to tolerate mistreatment and infidelity, if that's indeed what's been happening in your relationship. It just means you lack healthy boundaries and self-worth. 

But please understand that trying to date someone else right away is probably not a great move, either - especially if you have idealized someone who is virtually a stranger to you. 

 

[TeeDee]

You are not a terrible person.  This woman is a wake up call that your present relationship has issues.  So either fix them or break up.  Don't cheat.  Cheating does make you a terrible person but ending a dead relationship to pursue other opportunities just makes you human.  

[catfeeder]

Regardless of whether or not things could ever work out with the new woman, I'd consider this meeting to be my signal that I'm done being mistreated by the GF. I'd tell GF she has until end of month to find a new place, and if she cooperates, I'll pay for her first month, last month and security, and I'll help her to move. However, if she argues or harms me or my possessions in any way, she'll still need to leave, and I'll change the locks, but she'll be on her own.

Then you'll be free to explore anyone else you want!

Head high.

[ShySoul]

21 hours ago, Mrjaydog123 said:

honestly I’ve been the most loyal and amazing boyfriend for 10 years and I’ve put up with some terrible unfaithful things. But I care so much about hurting peoples feelings I hold myself back! But I really can’t get this out my head and I think I will regret it for the rest of my life. 

That is phrased in such as manner as to present yourself as the wonderful person who has been wrong by a woman and thus you are justified in pursuing someone else.

But if you felt bad for her being unfaithful, why would you want to do the same thing to her by pursuing someone else? Two wrongs don't make a right.

It's easy to focus on the negative and all the things she might have done wrong to you. But are there things she did right? Are there things you may have done wrong? Have there been happy times that may outweigh the bad?

Before making any decisions, take a look at the entirety of the relationship, being completely honest about both sides. Talk over any issues with your partner and see if you can make it work.