Weird not to tell someone where you are going in the house

[Seraphim]

Is it weird to tell someone where you are going if you are in the house ? Or is it not weird ? 

[Cherylyn]

I don't think it's weird.  It's preference.  However,  I think it's considerate to tell someone where you're going because I appreciate the same courtesy from my husband,  for example.  We don't simply disappear on each other. 

[Seraphim]

I mean like announcing you are going to the bathroom or getting changed . 

[Cherylyn]

Just now, Seraphim said:

I mean like announcing you are going to the bathroom or getting changed . 

No,  it's not weird.  Why make a big announcement to go to the bathroom or change clothes?  It doesn't make sense.  🫢

[Seraphim]

2 minutes ago, Cherylyn said:

No,  it's not weird.  Why make a big announcement to go to the bathroom or change clothes?  It doesn't make sense.  🫢

My mom insists I am a weirdo for not announcing what you are doing when you leave a room. 

[yogacat]

I'll tell my father if I am going out of the room to do homework or something or if/when I am leaving the house but that's only because he needs care around the clock and if he needs help, he needs to know where to find me and vice versa. 

Otherwise I wouldn't announce why I am leaving a room especially if am going to the bathroom. Now, if I was out at a social gathering, I might announce that I am going to powder my nose or something, but not in my own home. 

[Batya33]

Ugh! Only if there's a reason -like you're in the middle of a conversation or you told the person "I'm going to go make lunch" but then you realize you forgot to bring the laundry to the bedroom to put away so you say "I'm going to the bedroom to fold laundry -I forgot".  I think parents caring for young children always should say if they're leaving a room if the child will be left alone and should not be. We live in an apartment -we telework. Our day very often requires leaving the room -to take a call, hop on a zoom meeting, shower - but for example he will check "I'm going to go shower -is that ok or do you want to start laundry first" or "I'm going into the kitchen -do you need your water?" 

It would be really annoying if my husband told me each time especially if I am working and focused.

[ShySoul]

Yes, it's weird to tell someone that. But being weird if cool and fun. Who wants to be the same as everyone else? 🤪

Seriously, does it matter if it's weird or not? If you feel like telling someone you're leaving, tell them. If you don't see the point, don't. Each person has their own prefence, just respect what they want to. It's not like it;s going to change anything or have a huge ripple affect.

I'll let my roommate know when I'm leaving the room. Even if it's just saying I'll be right back. Don't want her thinking I'm ignoring her.

[Kwothe28]

Maybe its the culture thing, but here its perfectly normal and excepted. For example if guests comes in they would always announce that "They are going to the bathroom". Even if they live in the same home people always tell where they are going even if its inside home.

[MissCanuck]

12 hours ago, Seraphim said:

My mom insists I am a weirdo for not announcing what you are doing when you leave a room. 

I would therefore start making very dramatic exits from rooms. 

"Gather round, all. I shall now proceed down the hall to the latrine, and in my absence, thou shalt not speaketh of me. I foresee my return in approximately 3 to 4 minutes. Godspeed."

[Seraphim]

2 hours ago, MissCanuck said:

I would therefore start making very dramatic exits from rooms. 

"Gather round, all. I shall now proceed down the hall to the latrine, and in my absence, thou shalt not speaketh of me. I foresee my return in approximately 3 to 4 minutes. Godspeed."

She always says I didn’t raise you to be like this and not tell people where you are going in the house and you told people while you lived with me . It is rude not to. I said I haven’t lived with you for 32 years mom and we developed our own ways and being I am old than 5 I don’t think we should have to announce when we have to pee pee. Then she says your family is weird. 

[mylolita]

8 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

She always says I didn’t raise you to be like this and not tell people where you are going in the house and you told people while you lived with me . It is rude not to. I said I haven’t lived with you for 32 years mom and we developed our own ways and being I am old than 5 I don’t think we should have to announce when we have to pee pee. Then she says your family is weird. 

Hey there Seraphim! 
 

Your home, your rules - that’s my motto! 
 

In your own home, someone (a parent or otherwise) doesn’t have the right to dictate to you how you should be going about things. That is the rude demand, in my opinion. 
 

Your Mum or anyone else shouldn’t ask you to comply to their way of doing things or way of living/etiquette in your own home.

 

When I lived with my parents up until I was 18 I did everything my parents way - it was after all, their house. I kept my bedroom the way they wanted it to be kept. Now I own my own house, I have my own rules. It shouldn’t be any different in my opinion! 
 

Reading between the lines your Mum is trying to rule the roost and that’s stifling and impolite. She has to concede now this is not her show she’s running. She is a guest in your home, even if she is your mother, she is still a guest. 
 

She should be thanking you for having her, not nagging and telling you how to conduct yourself day to day! 
 

x

[catfeeder]

15 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

I don’t think we should have to announce when we have to pee pee. Then she says your family is weird. 

"Yes, we like weird, Mom. It's less exhausting."

[Seraphim]

8 minutes ago, catfeeder said:

"Yes, we like weird, Mom. It's less exhausting."

Hahahaa I told her this . 🤣🤣🤣I said neurodivergent people don’t wander around looking for the best pc behaviour in their own house . We shall pee without trumpeting . 

[mylolita]

39 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

Hahahaa I told her this . 🤣🤣🤣I said neurodivergent people don’t wander around looking for the best pc behaviour in their own house . We shall pee without trumpeting . 

Here in England Seraphim I often say, 

 

“Just nipping to the loo!”

 

🤣 But not like, every single time! 
 

x

[catfeeder]

52 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

Hahahaa I told her this . 🤣🤣🤣I said neurodivergent people don’t wander around looking for the best pc behaviour in their own house . We shall pee without trumpeting . 

Hah! Ask her if she'd like you all to keep a chart. You get an extra star for BM's.

[tattoobunnie]

I dunno. We do, but we are always looking for eachother 🤣

[Cherylyn]

17 hours ago, Seraphim said:

My mom insists I am a weirdo for not announcing what you are doing when you leave a room. 

Don't care what she thinks.  Go to the bathroom and change your clothes without an announcement each time.  🙄

[Seraphim]

14 minutes ago, Cherylyn said:

Don't care what she thinks.  Go to the bathroom and change your clothes without an announcement each time.  🙄

I do and get lectured about how I am not who she raised me to be . 🙄 7 months in and she is still fighting for control. 

[HeartGoesOn]

I'm sure this is annoying, yet ignoring them would likely send the message that you're not playing their game, and it's time for them to find a new hobby.  🙄

[Cherylyn]

2 hours ago, Seraphim said:

I do and get lectured about how I am not who she raised me to be . 🙄 7 months in and she is still fighting for control. 

Ignore and proceed. 

[DarkCh0c0]

20 hours ago, Seraphim said:

My mom insists I am a weirdo for not announcing what you are doing when you leave a room. 

That's coming from your narc mom. Ofc narcs say stuff like that. Typical power attempt tactics so that they feel they have some sort of control over you.

[yogacat]

7 hours ago, Seraphim said:

I do and get lectured about how I am not who she raised me to be . 🙄 7 months in and she is still fighting for control. 

Ugh. I feel for you. I could not live with someone that wants that much control over where you go and what you do in your own home!

[ShySoul]

As a therapist told a friend about her mom, "I'd rather be you then her."

You know who your mother is. She's elderly and doesn't have much to look forward to. So she tries to have some sense of control in her life by exerting herself in this manner. She's said plenty of other annoying things as well. It's kind of sad she feels she needs to have this control over such unimportant things.

Don't let it get to you. It's not worth the anger or stress you put on yourself by keeping it in. Roll your eyes, say sure mom, and move on to more important things.

Though I'd be tempted to turn her lines back on her the one time she neglects to announce herself. 😉

[catfeeder]

On 11/6/2024 at 12:42 PM, Seraphim said:

I do and get lectured about how I am not who she raised me to be . 🙄 

Okay, this is snarky, and I don't recommend it, but there would likely be times that I'd respond that I do take some pride in that.

Bad, BAD, Cat!!