Feel like my body will never be good enough for a man to like me

[LovelyRoses]

I’ve always been single but I’m completely flat chested and I am convinced that’s why.

Last year I dated a guy and things were developing at a lovely pace and he was seeking a life partner. But when we finally had sex… I was so nervous to show him my tiny breasts. Then he pulled away after we had sex and I worried my body wasn’t good enough or I wasn’t good in bed. He said he just want to be friends 

All year I lost my confidence so decide to go the gym and stuff. Recently met a new guy, he seemed very into me. Telling me I am beautiful. Turning up outside my house after I attend his gym classes and kissing me in the car. He was very touchy feely. I told him I was nervous about things and he reassured me I didn’t need to be nervous. 

I felt on dates he would rush me to finish my drink so we can get physical. But finally when we had sex, my top came off and he commented ‘you have tiny boobs! But I love them.’ And also commented I have a nice bum but it’s not super peachy…

 

during the sex he rushed it without much foreplay which meant it didn’t feel great for me.

Then afterwards he got up said ‘I can’t stay, need to get home quick. I don’t want to be cheap.’

After we slept together he never spoke to me again. No texts. I see him round but he’s distant 

And I’m so upset. I feel like being flat chested means a man will never be satisfied with me and also I don’t have much experience in bedroom so I think I’m bad at sex.

[catfeeder]

Naaah. You can't be 'bad' at sex with the 'right' person. If you're seeking a relationship with one guy who is right for you, then the RIGHT guy will view you through the right lens. He will want to get to know you, so he'll be willing to spend the time to date you without pushing you for sex.

Decide what you want for yourself. If it's quick sex, that's all you'll get. But if you're seeking a relationship, don't throw yourself into quick sex, and don't bother with anyone who wants that from you.

Sex is only one aspect of a whole person. If you mess with men who only want sex, you'll get dumped as soon as he's done, and it doesn't matter who you are. He won't take you seriously because YOU don't take yourself seriously enough to hold out for a better man.

Head high, we all learn through living.

[Andrina]

It was more likely your uneasiness and self-consciousness that made the intimacy not so pleasurable for the man, if that in fact was the case.

 You're lacking in self-esteem issues when you state you're bad at sex. For one thing, each person is so individual in their likes and dislikes in bed. Think of the person as a treasure map you have to learn about by trying a few things you've read about on sites on intimacy techniques. The person's feedback with body language and vocalization will tell you everything you need to know.

What do you think you can do to boost your self-worth? If you have no idea, start reading some articles or books on those skills. Because even if you don't voice your self-loathing, it will exude from your facial and body language, and a man might think, subconsciously or not,  "Well, she doesn't think highly of herself, so maybe she's right and there's something wrong with her I should be concerned about." Confidence is the greatest attractor.

[LovelyRoses]

19 minutes ago, Andrina said:

It was more likely your uneasiness and self-consciousness that made the intimacy not so pleasurable for the man, if that in fact was the case.

 You're lacking in self-esteem issues when you state you're bad at sex. For one thing, each person is so individual in their likes and dislikes in bed. Think of the person as a treasure map you have to learn about by trying a few things you've read about on sites on intimacy techniques. The person's feedback with body language and vocalization will tell you everything you need to know.

What do you think you can do to boost your self-worth? If you have no idea, start reading some articles or books on those skills. Because even if you don't voice your self-loathing, it will exude from your facial and body language, and a man might think, subconsciously or not,  "Well, she doesn't think highly of herself, so maybe she's right and there's something wrong with her I should be concerned about." Confidence is the greatest attractor.

I actually didn’t feel self conscious during the act, I was nervous and I tried to be confident. He just went ahead with no foreplay or anything and just went to stick it in and I wasn’t ready there and he didn’t bring condoms. So I felt very nervous about that too. And also he said he doesn’t perform oral sex but expected me to do it to him. I tried finding else what else he liked but he just seemed quite selfish 

 

he told me when we were going on dates, I seem to ooze confidence and I seem really sexy. But I’m feeling so low afterwards because I’m worried that was a lie.

 

[LovelyRoses]

48 minutes ago, catfeeder said:

Naaah. You can't be 'bad' at sex with the 'right' person. If you're seeking a relationship with one guy who is right for you, then the RIGHT guy will view you through the right lens. He will want to get to know you, so he'll be willing to spend the time to date you without pushing you for sex.

Decide what you want for yourself. If it's quick sex, that's all you'll get. But if you're seeking a relationship, don't throw yourself into quick sex, and don't bother with anyone who wants that from you.

Sex is only one aspect of a whole person. If you mess with men who only want sex, you'll get dumped as soon as he's done, and it doesn't matter who you are. He won't take you seriously because YOU don't take yourself seriously enough to hold out for a better man.

Head high, we all learn through living.

I know he’s the wrong person. I also think I have enough evidence to suspect that he is cheating on his girlfriend with me. I feel bad for her and I feel terrible that she won’t know. I would want to tell her but I’m concerned that he would get very angry especially as he knows where I live. 

[shouldhavelearned]

He said things you wanted to hear and made you feel a certain way. 

He wasn't the right guy and was only looking for one thing.

No condom, get an STD test an pregnancy test.

[LovelyRoses]

7 minutes ago, shouldhavelearned said:

He said things you wanted to hear and made you feel a certain way. 

He wasn't the right guy and was only looking for one thing.

No condom, get an STD test a pregnancy test.

What I’m worried about is that I will only attract cheaters. Whilst cheaters find it easy to have found a loving relationship why am I never the one that is loved.

 

no I found a condom in my drawer and made him wear it which he wasn’t happy about 

 

Still I keep worrying it means I’m bad at sex 

[Batya33]

I agree with Catfeeder and why did you have sex when you were nervous and with a man who was reluctant to wear a condom?? This has nothing to do with the size of your breasts -I was basically small breasted except when I was pregnant/trying to nurse.  

There's no way you are going to feel desirable when you're nervous, having casual sex which you know is wrong for  you in particular since  you get attached through sex and with a person you don't trust who on top of that is giving you angst about wearing a condom.  Please.

[LovelyRoses]

5 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

I agree with Catfeeder and why did you have sex when you were nervous and with a man who was reluctant to wear a condom?? This has nothing to do with the size of your breasts -I was basically small breasted except when I was pregnant/trying to nurse.  

There's no way you are going to feel desirable when you're nervous, having casual sex which you know is wrong for  you in particular since  you get attached through sex and with a person you don't trust who on top of that is giving you angst about wearing a condom.  Please.

No I made him wear a condom it just took me a while to find one in my room. I haven’t slept with someone in so long and I wanted to do it but it felt like he was rushing me so much 

[Batya33]

Just now, LovelyRoses said:

No I made him wear a condom it just took me a while to find one in my room. I haven’t slept with someone in so long and I wanted to do it but it felt like he was rushing me so much 

You can always say stop.  You chose to have sex because of it being so long not because this is a special person to you or because you are close with him.  You get attached through sex and you let this experience somehow lead you down this really odd path of it means you are not desirable. 

You shouldn't have to make someone wear a condom - and please my suggestion is always discuss birth control beforehand and hopefully your views on what should happen if you get pregnant. 

You take the risk of feeling icky when you have casual sex and because it's been "so long"

[LovelyRoses]

13 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

You can always say stop.  You chose to have sex because of it being so long not because this is a special person to you or because you are close with him.  You get attached through sex and you let this experience somehow lead you down this really odd path of it means you are not desirable. 

You shouldn't have to make someone wear a condom - and please my suggestion is always discuss birth control beforehand and hopefully your views on what should happen if you get pregnant. 

You take the risk of feeling icky when you have casual sex and because it's been "so long"

I’m not attached to him, I’m just annoyed with him. 
 

I don’t know if he is cheating but I have a few things that suggest he might be:

- said he’s single since 2021.. but pic on his Instagram page with a girl working out together that says power couple

- her mom, father, siblings all like his latest Instagram posts

- he wouldn’t give me his number as he said that’s got gym clients and that he doesn’t need to chat on WhatsApp as he ‘doesn’t have a girlfriend.’ 

- said I can never stay at his house because his brother would ask questions. 
 

dunno if overthinking? 
 

I don’t want to feel ashamed of sleeping with him tho don’t make me feel bad please 

[Jaunty]

To your question:  it's definitely not the case that your body is not "good enough" for any may to love you.  That's just way out there.  There are men that LOVE tiny breasts,  and all kinds of other features.  

Yes, there are body types that are generally attractive to men, that's why women with this type of body are chosen to feature in magazines - good for sales.

So these guys are not the guys for you.

Though to be honest,  a person can become completely derailed from their typical "type" when they find themselves falling for a different type altogether because of who the person is.  

It has happened to me.

Your real problem here is your lack of confidence.   If you're preoccupied with your boobs being "too" small for all guys, you're probably not going to be that fun to be with, and to have sex with.   You need to rock what you have and OWN it.  

[SophiaG]

I'm so sorry @LovelyRoses. To echo what others have said, no, your breast size or any other body parts won't doom your chance of being loved or having a relationship. However, obsessing over yours perceived defects and going after men who don't value or respect you would.

Please hear me out and don't rush to delete your posts and hide away because the comments might make you feel bad. I know you must already feel lousy at the moment and don't need us to remind you what we've said about this gym guy - what has happened has happened. However you can learn from this experience and avoid similar encounters in future. Granted you are entitled to choose who you have sex with but being associated with predatory men who don't care about you or your feelings won't help your self esteem, which is already low enough to cause these detrimental thoughts.

Your beliefs about having tiny breasts can be easily proven wrong - just look at the women around you who are flat chested and in loving relationships. Your previous posts mentioned you are attractive and always get attention from men. Shouldn't that prove that you are beautiful and there is nothing wrong with your body? If you don't go out of your way to hide your breast size with clothing etc. - there are many cute tops/dresses that only girls with small breasts can rock - you may also feel less nervous when getting naked or having sex as guys you date would not expect busty anyways. And of course for any man to make comments on your breasts that are anything but kind/complimentary should be an instant deal breaker.

More importantly, don't waste another second entertaining men who make you feel bad about yourself, be it with derogatory remarks/behavior or questionable character like being a probable cheater. I'm not one for casual sex but might have tried it once or twice when I got curious. If you want physical intimacy without being in a relationship, great - like it or not, in the current climate it's still much easier for women to get casual sex than for men. That means you can be really picky about who you have sex with - more than with a long term partner since then there will be a lot more to consider - for casual sex you really only need the other person to be attractive, respectful, and healthy (no STDs), and to know what they are doing in bed so selfish lover with no foreplay is a big no no! If you are comfortable to "ooze confidence" do have the confidence to call a stop to things and kick them out (or see yourself out) if someone is demonstrating selfish or toxic behavior in bed like putting you down with comments like "you have a nice bum but not too peachy." Really lame and juvenile behavior on his part - but if you tolerate that it will let him know he can get away with worse and you bet he'll treat you poorly all along. 

Finally, when you are confident enough to see through and say no to the wrong guys, you will have a better chance to meet good, relationship-minded men. When you meet someone who's equally serious about you, don't be nervous about showing your breasts - if they love you, they'll love them. There are plenty of men who go crazy for flat chested girls - and even if he doesn't, it wouldn't matter. It's merely a preference. I prefer taller guys but also had crushes with short boys. I prefer big ***s (lol) but also loved someone with a below average size - and no I've never said things like "you have a small d*ck but I love it!" 😅 I simply saw it as part of the man that I loved and a much less important part compared to all the good parts! 

[LovelyRoses]

58 minutes ago, Jaunty said:

To your question:  it's definitely not the case that your body is not "good enough" for any may to love you.  That's just way out there.  There are men that LOVE tiny breasts,  and all kinds of other features.  

Yes, there are body types that are generally attractive to men, that's why women with this type of body are chosen to feature in magazines - good for sales.

So these guys are not the guys for you.

Though to be honest,  a person can become completely derailed from their typical "type" when they find themselves falling for a different type altogether because of who the person is.  

It has happened to me.

Your real problem here is your lack of confidence.   If you're preoccupied with your boobs being "too" small for all guys, you're probably not going to be that fun to be with, and to have sex with.   You need to rock what you have and OWN it.  

I do like my personality. He told me I was very likeable but he didn’t show any interest in actually getting to know me as a person. Like he just was focused on my body and calling me hot and sexy etc. which makes me sad why he didn’t care about me as a person 

[Ryn4]

I feel the same way and I'm a man. I hate my arm size, I hate my chest, I don't have abs and don't care enough to because I like food too much, my legs are the worst part of me because they're so goddamn skinny. I have a hard time believing any woman will be attracted to me without achieving a certain physique.

I'll say this much. There are a lot of men including myself that don't really care about breast size. To be honest I think I prefer them smaller, and I know a lot of other guys do as well.

[LovelyRoses]

30 minutes ago, SophiaG said:

I'm so sorry @LovelyRoses. To echo what others have said, no, your breast size or any other body parts won't doom your chance of being loved or having a relationship. However, obsessing over yours perceived defects and going after men who don't value or respect you would.

Please hear me out and don't rush to delete your posts and hide away because the comments might make you feel bad. I know you must already feel lousy at the moment and don't need us to remind you what we've said about this gym guy - what has happened has happened. However you can learn from this experience and avoid similar encounters in future. Granted you are entitled to choose who you have sex with but being associated with predatory men who don't care about you or your feelings won't help your self esteem, which is already low enough to cause these detrimental thoughts.

Your beliefs about having tiny breasts can be easily proven wrong - just look at the women around you who are flat chested and in loving relationships. Your previous posts mentioned you are attractive and always get attention from men. Shouldn't that prove that you are beautiful and there is nothing wrong with your body? If you don't go out of your way to hide your breast size with clothing etc. - there are many cute tops/dresses that only girls with small breasts can rock - you may also feel less nervous when getting naked or having sex as guys you date would not expect busty anyways. And of course for any man to make comments on your breasts that are anything but kind/complimentary should be an instant deal breaker.

More importantly, don't waste another second entertaining men who make you feel bad about yourself, be it with derogatory remarks/behavior or questionable character like being a probable cheater. I'm not one for casual sex but might have tried it once or twice when I got curious. If you want physical intimacy without being in a relationship, great - like it or not, in the current climate it's still much easier for women to get casual sex than for men. That means you can be really picky about who you have sex with - more than with a long term partner since then there will be a lot more to consider - for casual sex you really only need the other person to be attractive, respectful, and healthy (no STDs), and to know what they are doing in bed so selfish lover with no foreplay is a big no no! If you are comfortable to "ooze confidence" do have the confidence to call a stop to things and kick them out (or see yourself out) if someone is demonstrating selfish or toxic behavior in bed like putting you down with comments like "you have a nice bum but not too peachy." Really lame and juvenile behavior on his part - but if you tolerate that it will let him know he can get away with worse and you bet he'll treat you poorly all along. 

Finally, when you are confident enough to see through and say no to the wrong guys, you will have a better chance to meet good, relationship-minded men. When you meet someone who's equally serious about you, don't be nervous about showing your breasts - if they love you, they'll love them. There are plenty of men who go crazy for flat chested girls - and even if he doesn't, it wouldn't matter. It's merely a preference. I prefer taller guys but also had crushes with short boys. I prefer big ***s (lol) but also loved someone with a below average size - and no I've never said things like "you have a small d*ck but I love it!" 😅 I simply saw it as part of the man that I loved and a much less important part compared to all the good parts! 

I felt confident when I met him as I had worked on myself. It felt nice that he was interested in me and interactions with him felt nice. Especially as I work from home and live alone and some days he was the only person I spoke to. 
 

but I did feel happy in myself and confident and hopeful maybe a man will want to get to know me 

 

but they never do. Even when I meet someone nice, they seem very aloof and disconnected and uninterested. And now I get that from him and I feel sad and worried that it’s because something very wrong with me 

 

I want love. I’ve never been in a relationship and turning 29. And it seems like an impossible distant thing. I try and form connections but it goes nowhere 

 

and now this 😞

[shouldhavelearned]

Think the other way

[SophiaG]

1 hour ago, LovelyRoses said:

I felt confident when I met him as I had worked on myself. It felt nice that he was interested in me and interactions with him felt nice. Especially as I work from home and live alone and some days he was the only person I spoke to. 
 

but I did feel happy in myself and confident and hopeful maybe a man will want to get to know me 

 

but they never do. Even when I meet someone nice, they seem very aloof and disconnected and uninterested. And now I get that from him and I feel sad and worried that it’s because something very wrong with me 

 

I want love. I’ve never been in a relationship and turning 29. And it seems like an impossible distant thing. I try and form connections but it goes nowhere 

 

and now this 😞

What he said or did was about him, not you. You already know he's a bum so what he thought really didn't matter in the grand scheme of things.

I know it's hard not to dwell on this recent experience but once you move your focus from this man to yourself you'll see he was full of nonsense. Try to become more confident so you don't fall for someone with similar nonsense next time. Expand your social circle to meet more people and don't limit yourself to the low hanging fruits like gym instructors - if they are within easy reach but still hanging there it's often because they are rotten or poisonous. 

[LovelyRoses]

2 minutes ago, SophiaG said:

What he said or did was about him, not you. You already know he's a bum so what he thought really didn't matter in the grand scheme of things.

I know it's hard not to dwell on this recent experience but once you move your focus from this man to yourself you'll see he was full of nonsense. Try to become more confident so you don't fall for someone with similar nonsense next time. Expand your social circle to meet more people and don't limit yourself to the low hanging fruits like gym instructors - if they are within easy reach but still hanging there it's often because they are rotten or poisonous. 

Is cheating not a big deal for a guy if he is cheating? do some relationships continue to thrive despite a partner cheating?

 

Do you think this is enough evidence to show he is cheating? I know I shouldn’t worry but it will help me to move forward if I know he is 

1) an instagram post in December 2023 with him working out with a woman is titled ‘power couple’

2) on further digging. All of her family still engage with all of his Instagram posts. And he does with theirs too.

3) that girl lives out of town up north. Whilst he told me he has one sister but looks like that sister lives in our town, so why would his sister have ‘come down to stay?’ 

4) the girls sister has a picture of him with her family just weeks ago.

5) he told me he can’t come to stay as his brother would ask questions - why would it matter?

I don’t know if there is an innocent explanation to this or I am right in thinking it is sus? 

 

I also feel terrible for her. Could she be aware of it? Would he do this if he loved her ? And should I tell her?

 

if I was with a man and he was cheating, I would want to know 

[LovelyRoses]

47 minutes ago, shouldhavelearned said:

Think the other way

What do you mean?

[SophiaG]

11 minutes ago, LovelyRoses said:

Is cheating not a big deal for a guy if he is cheating? do some relationships continue to thrive despite a partner cheating?

 

Do you think this is enough evidence to show he is cheating? I know I shouldn’t worry but it will help me to move forward if I know he is 

1) an instagram post in December 2023 with him working out with a woman is titled ‘power couple’

2) on further digging. All of her family still engage with all of his Instagram posts. And he does with theirs too.

3) that girl lives out of town up north. Whilst he told me he has one sister but looks like that sister lives in our town, so why would his sister have ‘come down to stay?’ 

4) the girls sister has a picture of him with her family just weeks ago.

5) he told me he can’t come to stay as his brother would ask questions - why would it matter?

I don’t know if there is an innocent explanation to this or I am right in thinking it is sus? 

 

I also feel terrible for her. Could she be aware of it? Would he do this if he loved her ? And should I tell her?

 

if I was with a man and he was cheating, I would want to know 

Who said cheating is not a big deal? But if you meant whether it's a big deal to HIM, then maybe it's not. Who knows and who cares?

Some choose to stay in relationships after cheating and some even believe their relationship comes out stronger - I've never tried it and don't believe it but who knows - to each their own. I think it sounds sus as hell but I don't know either of them and maybe they are in an off-and-on or even open relationship. Maybe he loves her and thinks it's no big deal because it's just sex, or maybe he never loved her and didn't care. Again - none of us can tell, but it doesn't matter. He doesn't love you, that part is clear (and I didn't say this to make you feel bad - I hope you can see it and spend no more time thinking of him.)

If she's in a relationship with him and not aware of his cheating, then she should know, I agree. But if it comes from you - the woman who he cheats with - and it's not like you just found out AFTER sleeping with him, you had all this info and was suspicious all along - I dunno, I feel like she might get more upset with you than with him (not that it's warranted, but a natural response) and it could cause more harm - to both you and her. I might send an anonymous message if that's possible.

But beyond that, ask yourself: why did you choose to suppress all those doubts and continue to involve with him while thinking he might be cheating? If he continues to talk to you and asks you out for sex again - will you let him?

[LovelyRoses]

7 minutes ago, SophiaG said:

Who said cheating is not a big deal? But if you meant whether it's a big deal to HIM, then maybe it's not. Who knows and who cares?

Some choose to stay in relationships after cheating and some even believe their relationship comes out stronger - I've never tried it and don't believe it but who knows - to each their own. I think it sounds sus as hell but I don't know either of them and maybe they are in an off-and-on or even open relationship. Maybe he loves her and thinks it's no big deal because it's just sex, or maybe he never loved her and didn't care. Again - none of us can tell, but it doesn't matter. He doesn't love you, that part is clear (and I didn't say this to make you feel bad - I hope you can see it and spend no more time thinking of him.)

If she's in a relationship with him and not aware of his cheating, then she should know, I agree. But if it comes from you - the woman who he cheats with - and it's not like you just found out AFTER sleeping with him, you had all this info and was suspicious all along - I dunno, I feel like she might get more upset with you than with him (not that it's warranted, but a natural response) and it could cause more harm - to both you and her. I might send an anonymous message if that's possible.

But beyond that, ask yourself: why did you choose to suppress all those doubts and continue to involve with him while thinking he might be cheating? If he continues to talk to you and asks you out for sex again - will you let him?

I’m just worried I’m not loveable.

 

both the last two guys I dated who were a lot different to this gym guy (they were looking for long term partners, we had a lot of similar interests and a deeper connection.) both said they never loved me or felt romantic toward me so I don’t know what to do differently

[Andrina]

37 minutes ago, LovelyRoses said:

so I don’t know what to do differently

Value yourself. Read books giving skills to achieve this. 

Learn to better walk away when you see glaring red flags (the gym instructor inappropriately touched you on the stomach at the gym and he shouldn't be asking out people who sign up for his classes.)

Building a happy fulfilling life solo before attempting to date (Time with girlfriends, family, and group hobbies)

Keep sex out of the equation for a few months with dates outside of each other's homes to see if a man wants to get to know you besides having the goal of being intimate.

37 minutes ago, LovelyRoses said:

oth said they never loved me or felt romantic toward me

How long did you date these two before having sex with them? Anybody can say anything whatsoever about their goals. Behavior and action and effort will show whether it's true or not given time, which is not within mere weeks. Have a wait and see attitude. And just because certain people don't choose to continue on with you after a short time doesn't mean you are unlovable. It means you each haven't yet found the keeper. The right match is special and most have to have many relationships before the magic happens. When I met my husband, I was glad those past dates with other men didn't turn in to anything.

[catfeeder]

6 hours ago, LovelyRoses said:

What I’m worried about is that I will only attract cheaters.

It's not about who we attract, it's about who we are willing to keep around.

Attracting cheaters, liars, users, crazies, abusers, and druggies is a level playing field for everyone. Healthy people ignore them and keep moving forward to find other healthy people. Unhealthy people latch onto them and pretend that they had no choice in the matter. They use the resulting mistreatment as confirmation that they don't deserve any better.

It's a personal decision every time.

Don't allow your mistakes to dictate your future. We've all made mistakes, so don't worry. Just choose better. Allow wrong matches to pass early. Then choose better again until you meet the RIGHT guy. You will thank yourself.

[Batya33]

17 minutes ago, catfeeder said:

It's not about who we attract, it's about who we are willing to keep around.

Attracting cheaters, liars, users, crazies, abusers, and druggies is a level playing field for everyone. Healthy people ignore them and keep moving forward to find other healthy people. Unhealthy people latch onto them and pretend that they had no choice in the matter. They use the resulting mistreatment as confirmation that they don't deserve any better.

It's a personal decision every time.

Don't allow your mistakes to dictate your future. We've all made mistakes, so don't worry. Just choose better. Allow wrong matches to pass early. Then choose better again until you meet the RIGHT guy. You will thank yourself.

Agree with this and Sophia G and Andrina wrote what I would have replied to your post to me LovelyRoses.

And as I wrote -you ignored it -I have small breasts. Never had an issue finding men who wanted to date and have a serious relationship with me and marry me. And who were good men of character and integrity, smarts, compassion.  But I also had more time to date than you did because I didn't permit myself to settle for anyone who would treat me like an object, be rude, seem to be shady- you waste time on these men then waste time ruminating.  While ruminating you're likely not putting your best self forward to meet new people. Jaded and cynical and bitter makes you look less attractive than you are.

To add -since you believe he is having sex with someone else or others do you have a plan to get tested for STDs - yes, I know you used a condom.