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Trucle

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My ldr boyfriend sent me a message that was meant to have come from someone else but the message didn't include "forwarded" it was written as if it was from a risk officer saying "thanks for letting me know,I'm not in the area,we can catch up next week and can chat about getting you off the register."when he called me afterwards he asked what was I doing yesterday? I know you went to the cafe on monday.but he didn't discuss the message and seemed keen to end the conversation.

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Probably wasn't meant for you and he didn't realize he sent it to you, thus didn't bring it up with you.

Is there a reason this message would cause you problems or confuse you? Are things alright otherwise? If it is bothering you, just talk to him about it. Tell him you got a message that seems to have been a mistake but that you're confused by it. See what he says and go from there. 

Most issues are best resolved by talking with the person and getting things out there so they can be addressed and resolved.

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He did mean to send it as he asked if I'd read it,I should have added that in the post,so it wasn't a mistake that he sent it but obviously a mistake that it was supposed to be a forwarded message???

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He did mean to send it as he asked if I'd read it,I should have added that in the post,so it wasn't a mistake that he sent it but obviously a mistake that it was supposed to be a forwarded message??? There are things I haven't added so maybe it doesn't make sense, maybe I should rewrite it with a different title?? 

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At this point you are reading too much into this.

Especially with a register, it's not exactly like he's wooing someone else. No "Hey baby, let me check your roster of love."

 

 

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If you continue to worry and speculate, you will cause yourself more anxiety and stress. You will make yourself sick and drive yourself mad. That won't solve anything and will only make it worse.

Ask him. Talk to him. The only one that knows what he is thinking is him, so go to the source... Him.

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On 10/31/2024 at 3:21 AM, catfeeder said:

Why not just ask him what it meant?

I know what it meant but it's like he's written it himself to make things seem good,and didn't receive any message himself 

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Sorry if I'm not understanding, but you think he faked the message to send it to you and appear like things are better then they are?

Is there any reason you have to believe he would do that? Are things okay in the relationship otherwise? Does he have a history of lying, making up, or hiding things? Is this your own anxiety or has he given you a reason not to trust him?

You've spent days worrying yourself about this. It's not resolving anything and is only causing you stress. Talking with him is the only way to get it all cleared up. 

 

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On 10/31/2024 at 3:21 AM, catfeeder said:

Why not just ask him what it meant?

I know what it meant but it's like he's written it himself to make things seem good,and didn't receive any message himself 

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6 minutes ago, Trucle said:

Yes that's what I meant, maybe your right it's my anxiety,but I can't say if he's ever lied to me as I don't really know alot about him except his suspended sentence.

Maybe it’s me but I had zero idea this message referenced a criminal matter. Please provide more context if you want helpful input. 

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What register is he on? Maybe he's trying to downplay his "record" and sent that message to you to reassure you that everything is under control. But then he asked you what you were doing yesterday and about going to the cafe, so maybe he's trying to see if you know something about his record or if you're suspicious of the message he sent?

On 10/30/2024 at 2:56 PM, Trucle said:

He did mean to send it as he asked if I'd read it

Then again, why would he ask if you've read the message if he didn't intend to send it to you as a forwarded message? 

Without more context, it's hard to say for sure what's going on here. 

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21 minutes ago, Trucle said:

Yes that's what I meant, maybe your right it's my anxiety,but I can't say if he's ever lied to me as I don't really know alot about him except his suspended sentence.

How much do you know about him? How long have you known him? Have you met in person?

You are calling him your boyfriend, yet saying you don't know alot about him. Think that is sign that you need to slow down and get to him better. The message could mean anything. He could be trying to do anything. What's more important is really knowing the person you are with and figuring out if this is someone you can trust, someone who is right for you.

I won't say someone with a sentence or past is automatically someone to be avoid. But it's enough reason to be cautious and spend some time getting to know them. That will be more useful then driving yourself crazy on messages and trying to examine every little thing for signs.

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Without more context, imo you're reading way too much into this. 

He may have simply 'cut and pasted' the message into a new message and sent versus 'forwarding' it.

On my old phone I had problems with the "forwarding" function and would often do the same thing. 

Why does it matter? 

Why are you so suspicious that it means something negative?  

We need more context! 

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8 minutes ago, Trucle said:

Yes maybe he cut and pasted it , although I don't know how you do that and the difference between forwarding,and maybe I'm reading too much into it 

You highlight the message, hit 'copy', create a new message (to you) and hit 'paste'.

By doing this (versus forwarding it) he protects the sender's name and other private info which since it's a risk officer, is considered confidential.

 

 

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11 minutes ago, rainbowsandroses said:

You highlight the message, hit 'copy', create a new message (to you) and hit 'paste'.

By doing this (versus forwarding it) he protects the sender's name and other private info which since it's a risk officer, is considered confidential.

Exactly, I do this, especially when others are cc'd and I don't want to expose a sender's whole list to anyone else.

It sounds like he's raising this with you to learn your thoughts and if there are things you would like to ask him about it. So have a conversation with him, and that will give you a better sense of how much you trust his responses. A bunch of strangers who don't understand the context can't determine that for you.

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If you are this worked up over a message from a person you admit you don't really know, perhaps you simply aren't in a position to handle something with him? 

A relationship involves trust and communication. There doesn't seem to be trust as you are worried about rather a message is forwarded or made up. This doesn't seem to be communication as he hasn't talked to you about this and you are reluctant to talk to him. Neither is a good sign.

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49 minutes ago, Trucle said:

Yes that's what I meant, maybe your right it's my anxiety,but I can't say if he's ever lied to me as I don't really know alot about him except his suspended sentence.

Well that's why you ask questions. So ask him.

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Anxiety/OCD... I can see you have repeat obsessive thoughts....it's difficult to find an off switch, so you come here for help. I'm not going to tell you things are good or bad or what it could mean...that will not help you. Your best bet to ease your anxiety is to talk to him about it...just not in an assertive/anxious way. Give yourself a few moments to get calm, then casually mention it. I get it you get yourself tied up in knots...but what happens in the end after all that fretting? It ends up being all for nothing right? Tip: When you are under some stresses, I recommend you go take a brisk walk to clear your head. Always works for me.

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