Silent Treatment in every argument with your partner

[heyitsmeeeeee]

what would you do when your partner always do silent treatment whenever you had an argument?

example: whenever you tries to ask nicely or even sometimes out of anger he/she won't answer the questions and just don't respond on it for like weeks and will just come back to you whenever she/he okay for a talk but not what you had argued. 

 

[SophiaG]

5 minutes ago, heyitsmeeeeee said:

whenever you tries to ask nicely

Ask what?

6 minutes ago, heyitsmeeeeee said:

just don't respond on it for like weeks

This doesn't sound like a partner, maybe just a distant friend?

Have you asked them why they don't respond and tell them you don't like the silent treatment (I assume)?

If they go silent again, delete them from your life and do not respond when they come back for a talk.

[Cherylyn]

I'd quit being nice to anyone who gave me this passive aggressive behavior.  I can be civil but I don't trust anymore.  If they do come around on their terms and talk to me as if nothing happened,  I'm frosty.  I can be polite but I wouldn't be more than that.  I'm not amiable. 

I've experienced this silent treatment from several local relatives and in-laws in my midst so I disengage.  I don't argue otherwise they'll gaslight me and shut me down as usual.  I never allow history to repeat itself anymore.  I've since wised up.  I know how this scenario will unfold so I don't even bother.  I pump the brakes on the relationship and I become quite cool and detached. 

 

[shouldhavelearned]

Communication 

Work together to understand why they go silent.

Get help

Read on it

Practice

Practice 

Practice 

 

[Batya33]

8 hours ago, heyitsmeeeeee said:

what would you do when your partner always do silent treatment whenever you had an argument?

example: whenever you tries to ask nicely or even sometimes out of anger he/she won't answer the questions and just don't respond on it for like weeks and will just come back to you whenever she/he okay for a talk but not what you had argued. 

 

I wouldn't interact with that person anymore. We never do silent treatment -we might wait to talk or even email with "look I'm upset right now -let's talk [fill in time like within the day].  I always keep him informed if we're not going to discuss right away.  But it also depends on what the question is -if it's an intrusive question or  rude still no silent treatment but she is not required to answer -she can say though "i don't like your tone and it's none of your business".  On your end is she just frustrated do you think with being confronted with questions, especially in an angry tone? What are you asking her?

[smackie9]

That's called stonewalling. It's a nail in the coffin. It's is explained better in the link below. Gottman/ The 4 Horsemen, 

 

https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-recognizing-criticism-contempt-defensiveness-and-stonewalling/

[Massari]

On 9/30/2024 at 10:01 PM, heyitsmeeeeee said:

what would you do when your partner always do silent treatment whenever you had an argument?

 

Silent treatment is a horrible manipulative response. My Ex wife did that all the time and it becomes border line narcissistic behavior over time. If I knew what i have known now I would left years ago because that's all she would do when we had arguments. 

My advise. talk to your partner and do not encourage silent treatment and try to eliminate this from your relationship. If you are upset with each other talking it through and solving it is the way. Having difficult conversations is the way to do it not executing silent treatment. 

That's my 2 cents. 

[Kwothe28]

Same guy who you wanted to become career driven yuppie or somebody else?

Are you naturally attracted to men who are emotionally unavailable for helathy relationship? If that is the case, please heal yourself first in order for you not to get attractes to somebody who is stonewalling you whenever you want to talk to them.

[Debsterism]

The better question is why do you stick around and put up with this kind of crappy treatment? Please value yourself more. 

[Cherylyn]

To answer your question about 'why?',  the purpose of giving you the silent treatment is about control and manipulating you.   Usually,  narcissists are masters at giving the silent treatment. 

They let time pass hoping you had forgotten the matter and then proceed as if it's another day.  Narcissists could give a _________ about you.  It's all about them and you don't matter.  You are insignificant so know your status.  You don't have status to them because you are inferior to them.  They have the upper hand and will let you know it.  Narcissists always dominate.   It's either their way or the highway. 

The only way to gain power is to eliminate narcissists from your life and if this strategy is impossible,  enforce boundaries for yourself. 

I don't give narcissists what they want whatever it is whether it's my attention,  my heart,  labor,  help,  time,  energy or any of it.  I make myself unavailable to them.  This is how you attain control over your own life.