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No closure and hard time moving on


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There is a very moral man out there for you who will share your Christian values.  This is not the end all.  He is worth the wait.  Remain patient because it will pay off.  I admire you for not following the crowd.  Stick to your principles and continue holding your standards high.  You will be glad you did.  I was you back in the day.  I married a great husband and father to our sons,  reside in a peaceful suburb, 🏡  live a very settled life and you too can attain what I have.

Save the explanation and closures for the movies because in real life,  people are abrupt,  selfish,  very self-centered and very much narcissists (lack empathy).  These typical behaviors are prevalent in society.  Grow accustomed to it.  Once you realize how the general public is,  nothing will surprise nor shock you anymore.  😒  Actually being wary and jaded is a positive trait because it means you've become realistic about people and accept their typical unsavory behaviors.  Even though you don't like it,  accept their flippant,  convenient behavior by considering it as society's "normal." 

Learn to adapt the way of the world.  It doesn't mean you become one of them though to be clear.  Adapt meaning know human nature and instead of becoming angry and disappointed in people,  expect the worst in them and you will be fine.  Should they actually be better than you expected,  this is the time to appreciate them if they've exceeded your original expectations.  When you change your mindset to this tack,  you will be better prepared for anything.  Being numb is a positive trait to have.  Your mind becomes even keeled and you adjust easily with however way people behave.

I'm sensitive, too.  I too am a product of domestic violence including observing my father beat up my mother.  😡 😭 

You have a healthy attitude regarding moving on.  Focus on yourself,  take good care of your health,  surround yourself with very moral people,  be interested in whatever brings you joy (intellect / hobbies / pastimes or whatever) and you will attract like minded people.  Since you're a Christian,  fellowship with your brethren,  belong to ministries,  attend Bible study groups and be within your comfort zone who think and write like you.  Be with a Christian man who believes and practices the same tenets. 

I've found the best way for moving on with your own closure is to take good care of yourself.  Don't neglect yourself.  Be kind to yourself.  When you love yourself,  you respect yourself.  When you respect yourself,  you think more clearly.  You'll become steadfast,  unwavering and absolute.  When you're clear headed,  the light turns on and you grow wiser.  Focus on self care.  Pamper yourself.  Treat yourself as if you matter.  Treating yourself well builds self confidence and you'll develop higher self esteem.  You don't take _______ from anyone anymore.  You'll become strong and tough. 

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2 hours ago, Cherylyn said:

There is a very moral man out there for you who will share your Christian values.  This is not the end all.  He is worth the wait.  Remain patient because it will pay off.  I admire you for not following the crowd.  Stick to your principles and continue holding your standards high.  You will be glad you did.  I was you back in the day.  I married a great husband and father to our sons,  reside in a peaceful suburb, 🏡  live a very settled life and you too can attain what I have.

Save the explanation and closures for the movies because in real life,  people are abrupt,  selfish,  very self-centered and very much narcissists (lack empathy).  These typical behaviors are prevalent in society.  Grow accustomed to it.  Once you realize how the general public is,  nothing will surprise nor shock you anymore.  😒  Actually being wary and jaded is a positive trait because it means you've become realistic about people and accept their typical unsavory behaviors.  Even though you don't like it,  accept their flippant,  convenient behavior by considering it as society's "normal." 

Learn to adapt the way of the world.  It doesn't mean you become one of them though to be clear.  Adapt meaning know human nature and instead of becoming angry and disappointed in people,  expect the worst in them and you will be fine.  Should they actually be better than you expected,  this is the time to appreciate them if they've exceeded your original expectations.  When you change your mindset to this tack,  you will be better prepared for anything.  Being numb is a positive trait to have.  Your mind becomes even keeled and you adjust easily with however way people behave.

I'm sensitive, too.  I too am a product of domestic violence including observing my father beat up my mother.  😡 😭 

You have a healthy attitude regarding moving on.  Focus on yourself,  take good care of your health,  surround yourself with very moral people,  be interested in whatever brings you joy (intellect / hobbies / pastimes or whatever) and you will attract like minded people.  Since you're a Christian,  fellowship with your brethren,  belong to ministries,  attend Bible study groups and be within your comfort zone who think and write like you.  Be with a Christian man who believes and practices the same tenets. 

I've found the best way for moving on with your own closure is to take good care of yourself.  Don't neglect yourself.  Be kind to yourself.  When you love yourself,  you respect yourself.  When you respect yourself,  you think more clearly.  You'll become steadfast,  unwavering and absolute.  When you're clear headed,  the light turns on and you grow wiser.  Focus on self care.  Pamper yourself.  Treat yourself as if you matter.  Treating yourself well builds self confidence and you'll develop higher self esteem.  You don't take _______ from anyone anymore.  You'll become strong and tough. 

Thank you very much for your great advice on how to get closure and moving on ️ Yes, I realize I need to lower my expectations and adapt. Thank you for sharing your story and that's terrible what happened to you as a child...I went through the same too as a child and adult unfortunately 😔 I will continue to hold my standards, associate with like-minded people, and believe in God no matter how lonely it gets and be patient 🙂

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