The Tragic Price of Technology

[yogacat]

I just returned from a Greek/Middle Eastern Festival and a subject came up ---> why does Generation Z happen to be the most depressed, anxious, and over-medicated generation in America? Disconnected and lonely, millions of youth fall further into the void of distraction and addiction to social media, feeling ever more isolated and abandoned.

They have more things at their finger tips then generations prior, but it seems like the more one has access to almost everything, the less happy.

I can also only imagine a generation that has grown up with so much societal, political, and environmental chaos-school shootings, natural disasters, and worldwide pandemics like COVID-19. Still, I guess I have always wondered if it isn't just because they are so young and know so much through technology and social media that adds to the stress and anxiety and lack of face-to-face interaction.

It was just so instinctive with people from yesteryears to the present time to be with each other, holding hands and touching, in cultural dances, basically letting the world know there is a sense of community and connectedness. How sad technology replaced real human connection and gave way to unrealistic fulfillment and belonging.

Technology has its blessings and curses. I suppose the blessing goes both ways in providing a platform for self-expression and limitless information, but then again, a curse-it puts them through streams of comparisons and expectations continuously.

Mental illness has risen to the point that it has become part of our culture to normalize anxiety and depression, and it seems to have reached a breaking point with this generation.

Essentially, they are the generation that was born "into the internet." Anyway, just something I was thinking about today. I saw a doc not too long ago about it. As I was sitting back watching the middle eastern dancers and realizing that this is something that this generation may have never experienced. The joy of connecting with others through dance or music or simply being present in the moment, without the constant distraction of technology.

How does dating even work for them? Has swiping left and right replaced the thrill of getting to know someone in person? And what about genuine friendships? Are they being replaced by social media followers and likes? It's scary to think about. 

[Batya33]

Our son is 15. Technology was a godsend for us during the pandemic -he stayed in touch with his friends via zoom and they gamed/did homework together, chatted. He is not on social media. He is in school in person does after school activities like band in person, and last week he and his classmates spent hours doing clean up at a riverbank as part of an overnight trip in another state.  I am love/hate at times with technology for sure but I am not glued to my phone. I let my son use his phone on our 1.2 mile trek to the bus stop on school mornings but we also talk. He has such a long day and commute to school I feel he deserves to watch some mindless videos etc before that long day.  But we also talk a lot. 

Our son is more reserved/introvert but he has developed really close friendships especially over the last 5 years and they spend in person time together with one exception -his friend moved away a few years ago -really far -so that is all online now.  He is a really good friend and he is good socially in person.  

I hear you. I really wanted to mention a great podcast I listened to very recently about the benefits of social media -I think it was a Ted talk? I do think that was it- the Sept. 27th podcast.  Really interesting not the same old same old.

I do worry about in person interactions in this generation especially when it comes to job interviews for example.

[yogacat]

8 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

Our son is 15. Technology was a godsend for us during the pandemic -he stayed in touch with his friends via zoom and they gamed/did homework together, chatted. He is not on social media. He is in school in person does after school activities like band in person, and last week he and his classmates spent hours doing clean up at a riverbank as part of an overnight trip in another state.  I am love/hate at times with technology for sure but I am not glued to my phone. I let my son use his phone on our 1.2 mile trek to the bus stop on school mornings but we also talk. He has such a long day and commute to school I feel he deserves to watch some mindless videos etc before that long day.  But we also talk a lot. 

Our son is more reserved/introvert but he has developed really close friendships especially over the last 5 years and they spend in person time together with one exception -his friend moved away a few years ago -really far -so that is all online now.  He is a really good friend and he is good socially in person.  

I hear you. I really wanted to mention a great podcast I listened to very recently about the benefits of social media -I think it was a Ted talk? I do think that was it- the Sept. 27th podcast.  Really interesting not the same old same old.

I do worry about in person interactions in this generation especially when it comes to job interviews for example.

Yes. That's why I mentioned it is both a blessing and a curse. It has its positives. If you could find the Ted Talk I would love to listen. My perspective here is based on what I have observed in my own friend group and others I have met through school events and activities outside of school. There are certainly exceptions and not all Gen Z's are struggling, but the numbers don't lie and it's a concerning trend.

[ShySoul]

I feel people are the same now as at in time. There have always been people depressed and over anxious. There has always been worries and struggles with all walks of life. Difference is it's now become expected for everyone to know everything and broadcast it constantly. Obsessing over likes or followers is the same as worrying the kids at school or that your coworkers will like you. 

On one hand, knowledge is power. Technology allows us to have a voice, to stand up for ourselves and against injustice. Movements like MeToo or Black Lives Matter can create a call for change, can have positive impacts that change the world. 

On the other hand the constant stream of negativity and depressing news can make you more depressed and anxious. And it can be used to spread ignorance and hate.

Ultimately, it's the individual that has to resist the urge to allow technology to control how they think rather then controlling it. It's finding the right balance for them and maintaining healthy boundaries. It's not being caught up in a popularity contest or feeling they have to chase the latest trend or have the latest fancy gadget. 

I'm actually glad I don't have social media other then a LinkedIn and avoid a lot of technology and things that zap people of time and energy. The old fashioned way works just fine. And I appreciate the extra human touch and conncection that comes from something like music, dance, or just time spent in nature.

[Batya33]

2 minutes ago, yogacat said:

Yes. That's why I mentioned it is both a blessing and a curse. It has its positives. If you could find the Ted Talk I would love to listen. My perspective here is based on what I have observed in my own friend group and others I have met through school events and activities outside of school. There are certainly exceptions and not all Gen Z's are struggling, but the numbers don't lie and it's a concerning trend.

Yes I didn't disagree. I take statisitics most often with a grain of salt and I respect your opinion too.  I believe it is this one  Cuts Both Ways : TED Radio Hour : NPR

[ShySoul]

I've also seen several things on GenZ having a kind of backlash to technology. Many are turning to things like speed dating over apps, and choosing "dumb" phones. 

Think everything goes in cycles. Young people like to reject certain things that came before and rediscover the joy of certain "vintage" or "retro" things.

https://pro.morningconsult.com/analysis/dumb-phone-gen-z-millennials-dumb-tech-interest-2024

https://www.cnbc.com/2024/07/02/gen-z-is-ditching-the-apps-to-date-in-real-life-here-are-4-top-tips-.html

[Seraphim]

My son is the oldest year of Gen Z and I am the oldest year of Gen X. I think the biggest societal challenge he had was Covid restrictions. 
 

My generation had its issues, the Cold War and ever impending WW3 really shaped our psyche. 
 

I think each generation has its mountains to overcome . 

[Batya33]

13 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

My son is the oldest year of Gen Z and I am the oldest year of Gen X. I think the biggest societal challenge he had was Covid restrictions. 
 

My generation had its issues, the Cold War and ever impending WW3 really shaped our psyche. 
 

I think each generation has its mountains to overcome . 

Seraphim and I are the same age. I remember the early 1990s Rodney King riots, 9-11 of course and threats of nuclear war and on and on.  I agree. 

[Seraphim]

8 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

Seraphim and I are the same age. I remember the early 1990s Rodney King riots, 9-11 of course and threats of nuclear war and on and on.  I agree. 

Yup , watch the original Red Dawn from 1984, our worst fears in one movie . 

[yogacat]

26 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

My son is the oldest year of Gen Z and I am the oldest year of Gen X. I think the biggest societal challenge he had was Covid restrictions. 
 

My generation had its issues, the Cold War and ever impending WW3 really shaped our psyche. 
 

I think each generation has its mountains to overcome . 

That's a very good point. Albeit!

"Participants from the generations Gen Z and Millennials self-reported significantly worse scores of perceived stress, loneliness, IRI subscale of personal distress, as well as all four subscales from CIS, which are fatigue, motivation, physical activity, and concentration; all ps < .05. Most notably, the provisional rates of diagnosis for MDD for participants in the Gen Z, 44.5%, and Millennial, 35.8%, generations were significantly higher than participants in the Gen X, 19.2%, and Baby Boomer, 11.8%, generations."

The Generation Gap Revisited: Generational Differences in Mental Health, Maladaptive Coping Behaviors, and Pandemic-Related Concerns During the Initial COVID-19 Pandemic - PMC (nih.gov)

[Batya33]

Just now, yogacat said:

That's a very good point. Albeit!

"Participants from the generations Gen Z and Millennials self-reported significantly worse scores of perceived stress, loneliness, IRI subscale of personal distress, as well as all four subscales from CIS, which are fatigue, motivation, physical activity, and concentration; all ps < .05. Most notably, the provisional rates of diagnosis for MDD for participants in the Gen Z, 44.5%, and Millennial, 35.8%, generations were significantly higher than participants in the Gen X, 19.2%, and Baby Boomer, 11.8%, generations."

The Generation Gap Revisited: Generational Differences in Mental Health, Maladaptive Coping Behaviors, and Pandemic-Related Concerns During the Initial COVID-19 Pandemic - PMC (nih.gov)

I'd also like to know what was evaluated -and how -in past generations with respect to all these factors. Often it matters how the question is asked.  Also mental health was far more stigmatized back then so I wouldn't be surprised if the responses were biased/skewed as a result.  

[cat8]

Very insightful OP.  I enjoyed the read. 

I am at the tip of the Millennial Gen and luckily at my age it is a stark contrast in so many ways per daily life. Not to be negative at all, just simply attentive to some of the adjustments that can be made along the way. Societal challenges indeed, like every gen but ongoing and Z are going to have some pretty epic mountains to overcome unless parents and grandparents keep the funding and opp's happening. 

Home ownership, career vs just a job, relationships and overall..... the value of an earned and consistent life or lifestyle away from Tik Tok, Insta and any upcoming flavors of the decade. All of that is a facade anyway adn watching youtube or Tik Tok is not a away to experience or live, as it is through the lens of someone else or someone acting. 

[Seraphim]

3 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

I'd also like to know what was evaluated -and how -in past generations with respect to all these factors. Often it matters how the question is asked.  Also mental health was far more stigmatized back then so I wouldn't be surprised if the responses were biased/skewed as a result.  

Our generation and the ones before us now seldom discuss mental health and back in the day NEVER NEVER NEVER discussed. When we were kids kids didn’t have anxiety, not possible, didn’t have growing pains , didn’t have headaches etc etc … 

[SophiaG]

1 hour ago, yogacat said:

Generation Z happen to be the most depressed, anxious, and over-medicated generation

I'm not sure this is the case. They might just be in the life stage where many of these problems are the most pronounced. People were (and still are) addicted to other things before technology, alcohol, drugs. Mental problems were always there but probably less diagnosed and treated than today.

 

[Seraphim]

When my husband was suicidal last year and spent time in the psychiatric ward the doctor told me the difference in generations . He said men of your husband’s generation generally just kill themselves and don’t ask for help. It is very seldom. The younger generations feel much more relaxed asking for help. And you know he was the only person his age in that ward . Everyone else was younger. So while it appears more people are depressed it might not be so. Our generations feel deep shame talking about it . As the doctor said , “ your husband is a very brave man most men in that generation with severe depression just die. 

[yogacat]

49 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

Our generation and the ones before us now seldom discuss mental health and back in the day NEVER NEVER NEVER discussed. When we were kids kids didn’t have anxiety, not possible, didn’t have growing pains , didn’t have headaches etc etc … 

A lot of things are over-diagnosed or over-pathologized when they are just part of being human (like the woes of growing up) but there is a rise in legit mental health issues, particularly in teenagers and young adults.

Just because people didn't talk about it doesn't mean it didn't exist. My grandmother came from the great depression and she had ovarian cancer while raising by herself (after her husband passed) 7 children during a time when cancer treatment was basic. She never talked about it or about how she hid the pain she was going through but it wasn't any less real. So, maybe mental health issues have always been there, they just weren't on the radar because people didn't talk about it or bury themselves in distractions. 

[yogacat]

2 hours ago, ShySoul said:

I feel people are the same now as at in time. There have always been people depressed and over anxious. There has always been worries and struggles with all walks of life. Difference is it's now become expected for everyone to know everything and broadcast it constantly. Obsessing over likes or followers is the same as worrying the kids at school or that your coworkers will like you. 

On one hand, knowledge is power. Technology allows us to have a voice, to stand up for ourselves and against injustice. Movements like MeToo or Black Lives Matter can create a call for change, can have positive impacts that change the world. 

On the other hand the constant stream of negativity and depressing news can make you more depressed and anxious. And it can be used to spread ignorance and hate.

Ultimately, it's the individual that has to resist the urge to allow technology to control how they think rather then controlling it. It's finding the right balance for them and maintaining healthy boundaries. It's not being caught up in a popularity contest or feeling they have to chase the latest trend or have the latest fancy gadget. 

I'm actually glad I don't have social media other then a LinkedIn and avoid a lot of technology and things that zap people of time and energy. The old fashioned way works just fine. And I appreciate the extra human touch and conncection that comes from something like music, dance, or just time spent in nature.

I have FB and LinkedIn. I am barely on FB but I update my profile on LinkedIn. The only reason I am on FB is because someone I dated years ago, invited me to it. 😆

My smartphone is like eight years old. It isn't smart anymore ...😉

I tried helping my mom (a boomer) with a temporary flip phone because she lost her phone and trying to navigate it's old technology was like solving a Sudoku puzzle. 

[Seraphim]

5 minutes ago, yogacat said:

I have FB and LinkedIn. I am barely on FB but I update my profile on LinkedIn. The only reason I am on FB is because someone I dated years ago, invited me to it. 😆

My smartphone is like eight years old. It isn't smart anymore ...😉

I tried helping my mom (a boomer) with a temporary flip phone because she lost her phone and trying to navigate it's old technology was like solving a Sudoku puzzle. 

Hahaha I encompass all the technology. My mom is a Boomer she is the oldest year, she is 78. She has a smart phone and does great. 

[AuthenticSelf]

3 hours ago, yogacat said:

How does dating even work for them? Has swiping left and right replaced the thrill of getting to know someone in person? And what about genuine friendships? Are they being replaced by social media followers and likes? It's scary to think about. 

In my city, the trend slowly turned toward speed dating and some weird type of dating events as people are sick of the dating app. 

To be honest, it is fairly similar to dating app with the real life situation. 

I can tell 90% true if a person is going to have a partner or not purely based on their look. 

So, technology has changed everything in my opinion. 

[Kwothe28]

7 hours ago, yogacat said:

I just returned from a Greek/Middle Eastern Festival

Was there gyros or souvlaki? 😁

7 hours ago, yogacat said:

why does Generation Z happen to be the most depressed, anxious, and over-medicated generation in America?

I would say its mostly parents fault. Sure, technology and internet has issues. For example Reddit and where when you ask something they diagnose you and try to convince you that you are autistic. Lots of kids turns to internet and gets that kind of influence. But parents are the ones that enable that kind of behavior. They let kids unsupervised online. Where they watch and get influenced by all kinds of stuff. And then those same parents wonder where they made the mistake. And blame everybody else but themselves. Yes, its the internet fault that you let your kid gets educated by the mobile phone because you didnt had time or just thought it was easier that way. Couldnt be your own because that would mean you would have to take at least some accountability. 

Technology has its flaws. For example, yes, lots of live interactions got replaced by virtual ones. There was some guy the other day here asking how to ask the girl out. When I was in high school and got my first girlfriend, those kind of advices, I got from my friends that already got some experience. That guy was already at college. And has no idea about some things nore he got those advices from friends. But turned to us here. Its OK that is why we are here, to give advice. But, it does show that even some interactions like that, get transferred online instead of in person. 

But technology also helps a lot for some stuff. For example, you are into job search now. In some different times, think you would even find out about some jobs without technology? Got 7 interviews without it? Lots of stuff gets made easier by it. Same with dating. Yes, online dating is deeply flawed. But it essentially expands your dating pool. By a lot. Otherwise you would have to go out in your town and find somebody. Not a bad thing also. But it does limits your pool just on small area of people.

There is also a notion that, as we have more options, we are less happy. In that way, yes, technology is a minus. But again, its certainly a plus when it comes to some stuff. I havent waited in line to pay the bill in forever. It saves me a lot of time not to go to 5 places a month to pay something that I do now by just scanning QR code. I dont get to talk to people in line and find out how person X did Y something. But can also use that time to talk to friends instead. Its not a end of it all and it gives you options if you are willing to take them.

[Batya33]

9 hours ago, yogacat said:

A lot of things are over-diagnosed or over-pathologized when they are just part of being human (like the woes of growing up) but there is a rise in legit mental health issues, particularly in teenagers and young adults.

Just because people didn't talk about it doesn't mean it didn't exist. My grandmother came from the great depression and she had ovarian cancer while raising by herself (after her husband passed) 7 children during a time when cancer treatment was basic. She never talked about it or about how she hid the pain she was going through but it wasn't any less real. So, maybe mental health issues have always been there, they just weren't on the radar because people didn't talk about it or bury themselves in distractions. 

Of course it existed. My dad was bipolar and suicidal at times. From the 1950s on until he passed away in his 80s. But when my mom had young kids and her husband was in a psychiatric hospital she lied to me (well I was only 4 the first time) and her friends whereas today she likely would even be posting on FB. So if she was surveyed and evaluated and asked back then about mental health etc my sense is she would not have shared all or been as open as now. It was hugely stigmatized. I don't know how she managed. 

My eating disorder in high school was undiagnosed partly because it just wasn't discussed in those terms -there wasn't that practice of running to therapy -and my dad was in therapy back then and yet.  I was bullied at camp and school and the reaction and response was entirely different than decades later when it happened to my son - now boys report bullying much more readily and/or the school observes it and jumps into action. 

So a teenager being asked about mental health and bullying and isolation is going to share more about those issues and label it with "anxiety" not "oh you know boys will be boys, they were just play wrestling, they didn't mean it".

[Batya33]

9 hours ago, yogacat said:

I have FB and LinkedIn. I am barely on FB but I update my profile on LinkedIn. The only reason I am on FB is because someone I dated years ago, invited me to it. 😆

My smartphone is like eight years old. It isn't smart anymore ...😉

I tried helping my mom (a boomer) with a temporary flip phone because she lost her phone and trying to navigate it's old technology was like solving a Sudoku puzzle. 

My smartphone is not the latest at all. The main reason we got smartphones in 2015 was because we are parents and we needed them for work.  We had flip phones prior.  My mom had a flip phone till it died last year -we want her to get another one for safety -she is 89 and has no internet or laptop etc.  I am on FB and Linkedin and nominally on IG.  I love FB and I also hate it lol.  For the first time I realized I should remove my bday -didn't need all those bday wishes from people I don't really know - but then my work anniversary came by on Linkedin and I got tons of messages about that. Which was good as I reconnected with certain people.

[Batya33]

3 hours ago, Kwothe28 said:

Was there gyros or souvlaki? 😁

I would say its mostly parents fault. Sure, technology and internet has issues. For example Reddit and where when you ask something they diagnose you and try to convince you that you are autistic. Lots of kids turns to internet and gets that kind of influence. But parents are the ones that enable that kind of behavior. They let kids unsupervised online. Where they watch and get influenced by all kinds of stuff. And then those same parents wonder where they made the mistake. And blame everybody else but themselves. Yes, its the internet fault that you let your kid gets educated by the mobile phone because you didnt had time or just thought it was easier that way. Couldnt be your own because that would mean you would have to take at least some accountability. 

Technology has its flaws. For example, yes, lots of live interactions got replaced by virtual ones. There was some guy the other day here asking how to ask the girl out. When I was in high school and got my first girlfriend, those kind of advices, I got from my friends that already got some experience. That guy was already at college. And has no idea about some things nore he got those advices from friends. But turned to us here. Its OK that is why we are here, to give advice. But, it does show that even some interactions like that, get transferred online instead of in person. 

But technology also helps a lot for some stuff. For example, you are into job search now. In some different times, think you would even find out about some jobs without technology? Got 7 interviews without it? Lots of stuff gets made easier by it. Same with dating. Yes, online dating is deeply flawed. But it essentially expands your dating pool. By a lot. Otherwise you would have to go out in your town and find somebody. Not a bad thing also. But it does limits your pool just on small area of people.

There is also a notion that, as we have more options, we are less happy. In that way, yes, technology is a minus. But again, its certainly a plus when it comes to some stuff. I havent waited in line to pay the bill in forever. It saves me a lot of time not to go to 5 places a month to pay something that I do now by just scanning QR code. I dont get to talk to people in line and find out how person X did Y something. But can also use that time to talk to friends instead. Its not a end of it all and it gives you options if you are willing to take them.

I agree with all this. But please don't place all blame on parents since not all parents can home school and almost all schools except very small very expensive ones require technology use and cannot monitor all the students do all day.  We are lucky. So far our son comes  to us about anything potentially inappropriate on line, he asks permission before downloading any app and he knows we have the ability to monitor phone use and he must provide all passwords (he is 15).  He shares openly with us if he sees a political type youtube video that he wonders if it is appropriate/accurate etc.  He's never gotten in trouble at school for internet use -he has reported others who have taken his photo and he avoids the group chat type things (no snapchat either).  We do our best.  You are right that it's not possible to block all.  Also I am on FB groups about internet safety for kids/teens so that helps too. We're older so it's really new to us!

(Also we never wished to home school - virtual school during pandemic confirmed that again!)

[Seraphim]

1 hour ago, Batya33 said:

Of course it existed. My dad was bipolar and suicidal at times. From the 1950s on until he passed away in his 80s. But when my mom had young kids and her husband was in a psychiatric hospital she lied to me (well I was only 4 the first time) and her friends whereas today she likely would even be posting on FB. So if she was surveyed and evaluated and asked back then about mental health etc my sense is she would not have shared all or been as open as now. It was hugely stigmatized. I don't know how she managed. 

My eating disorder in high school was undiagnosed partly because it just wasn't discussed in those terms -there wasn't that practice of running to therapy -and my dad was in therapy back then and yet.  I was bullied at camp and school and the reaction and response was entirely different than decades later when it happened to my son - now boys report bullying much more readily and/or the school observes it and jumps into action. 

So a teenager being asked about mental health and bullying and isolation is going to share more about those issues and label it with "anxiety" not "oh you know boys will be boys, they were just play wrestling, they didn't mean it".

My father was bipolar as well and was in psychiatric wards no less than 200 times in his life . It was a hard life . 
 

My anxiety and PTSD and panic disorder wasn’t diagnosed until I was in my 40’s and had a complete breakdown. Apparently I had anxiety since young childhood but a hard life made it a thousand times worse . Like I said in the 70’s and 80’s kids “ didn’t have that stuff.” After I was raped my mom made sure I went to one of the most eminent child psychiatrists in the province of British Columbia and she paid a mint . Even so she felt I had had “ enough treatment after a year” but she told my mom I would need treatment throughout my life in different stages. However, nothing was discussed in terms of diagnosis what exactly was wrong nothing like that. I was mocked at school for needing mental health help, I was mocked for what happened . I was so so so so resistant to treatment I had a complete nervous breakdown complete and utter collapse and non functional. Did the hospital help me ? No and gave me a pill and sent me away. Thank goodness for the counsellor I saw for 2 years. She literally saved my life . 

[Seraphim]

5 hours ago, Kwothe28 said:

Was there gyros or souvlaki? 😁

I would say its mostly parents fault. Sure, technology and internet has issues. For example Reddit and where when you ask something they diagnose you and try to convince you that you are autistic. Lots of kids turns to internet and gets that kind of influence. But parents are the ones that enable that kind of behavior. They let kids unsupervised online. Where they watch and get influenced by all kinds of stuff. And then those same parents wonder where they made the mistake. And blame everybody else but themselves. Yes, its the internet fault that you let your kid gets educated by the mobile phone because you didnt had time or just thought it was easier that way. Couldnt be your own because that would mean you would have to take at least some accountability. 

Technology has its flaws. For example, yes, lots of live interactions got replaced by virtual ones. There was some guy the other day here asking how to ask the girl out. When I was in high school and got my first girlfriend, those kind of advices, I got from my friends that already got some experience. That guy was already at college. And has no idea about some things nore he got those advices from friends. But turned to us here. Its OK that is why we are here, to give advice. But, it does show that even some interactions like that, get transferred online instead of in person. 

But technology also helps a lot for some stuff. For example, you are into job search now. In some different times, think you would even find out about some jobs without technology? Got 7 interviews without it? Lots of stuff gets made easier by it. Same with dating. Yes, online dating is deeply flawed. But it essentially expands your dating pool. By a lot. Otherwise you would have to go out in your town and find somebody. Not a bad thing also. But it does limits your pool just on small area of people.

There is also a notion that, as we have more options, we are less happy. In that way, yes, technology is a minus. But again, its certainly a plus when it comes to some stuff. I havent waited in line to pay the bill in forever. It saves me a lot of time not to go to 5 places a month to pay something that I do now by just scanning QR code. I dont get to talk to people in line and find out how person X did Y something. But can also use that time to talk to friends instead. It’s not an end of it all and it gives you options if you are willing to take them.

My son was not allowed unsupervised internet access until he was almost 18. I was very careful.