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Why my [21M] online girlfriend [21F] doesn't share the same passion of chatting


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Hey people, I don't know if this is the right forum to post this but after posting on Reddit was unsuccessful, this is the first forum that came up on google se here I am.

Here is my story, I'm a conventionally unattractive guy, I'm not an extremist or an incel but I post a lot about beauty standards and vent on r/ugly quite often om my Reddit account. A week ago, I received a DM from stranger who turned out to be a girl, apparently she liked my "personality" as she's went through my entire profile and I post a lot so u could kinda tell what type of people I am through my posts and comments. I made sure she was a girl through a brief video call that barely lasted 10secs. I've never had a gf, thought I'd be alone so when an opportunity presented itself, I took it and we became a couple on day 2. She never mentioned anything about liking my physical appearance even though she keeps telling me to lose the idea that I'm ugly. Enough with the introduction, now to the actual problem. I always find myself messaging first, she only replies like 3 times a day with 6 hours time between each reply and the last reply is always past 2am when she's sure I'm asleep and can't hold a convo with her. I'm always the one trying to keep the convo alive, she always finds the smallest excuse to come at me, refuses calls, refuses to give me her Whatsapp number and also refuses to game with me even though she's had many male friends she used to play with. I've never had a gf so I have high hopes and I daydream about a life with her. I wait the entire day for her messages and answer her instantly even when I'm in the bathroom. The earliest she'd answer in a day is at 3-4pm and she doesn't even have school yet. She also tells me to delete any girls I have on my social media accounts and stop watching porn even though she told me that she'll never send me any nudes. So I'm wondering does she really love me or is she the kind of people who preys on dudes with low self esteem in order to boost her own ego? I don't know what to do anymore, should I block her altogether and rest? Should I continue doing this?Thanks for reading!

N.B:We're 2500km away from each other and we are from different countries, my passport won't allow me to visit her country but hers will allow her to visit mine.

TL,DR: My online gf doesn't chat with me with the same passion as I do with her and I don'r even know if she loves me.

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I would assume she is a complete stranger, might not even be a she, and you are way too attached to this stranger. She doesn't seem to want to be in contact with you as an online chat buddy or online friend either.  You've come up with this fantasy of who you imagine her to be and who to be with respect to you. What social things do you do in real life? Do you have friends?

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5 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

I would assume she is a complete stranger, might not even be a she, and you are way too attached to this stranger. She doesn't seem to want to be in contact with you as an online chat buddy or online friend either.  You've come up with this fantasy of who you imagine her to be and who to be with respect to you. What social things do you do in real life? Do you have friends?

I don't have anything to do with my day besides gaming. All my friends are online ones.

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2 minutes ago, ImperialGlove said:

I don't have anything to do with my day besides gaming. All my friends are online ones.

Then it's up to you to change that. You seem very vulnerable to being scammed or catfished.

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5 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

Then it's up to you to change that. You seem very vulnerable to being scammed or catfished.

Thank you for your answer but I'm quite sure they're not a catfish, they haven't asked me for money or anything either. What could be their motive?

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This person is not your girlfriend, OP. 

You don't even know her. Video-chatting for 10 seconds and exchanging messages for one week is not dating. 

3 hours ago, ImperialGlove said:

She also tells me to delete any girls I have on my social media accounts and stop watching porn

Eff that. This stranger doesn't get any say over your life. 

3 hours ago, ImperialGlove said:

does she really love me

Well, no. You two are strangers who've been chatting for 7 whole days. There's no basis for love. 

2 hours ago, ImperialGlove said:

I'm quite sure they're not a catfish, they haven't asked me for money or anything either

Not yet. That doesn't mean she won't. 

3 hours ago, ImperialGlove said:

should I block her altogether

Oh, yes, Absolutely yes!

 

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51 minutes ago, MissCanuck said:

This person is not your girlfriend, OP. 

You don't even know her. Video-chatting for 10 seconds and exchanging messages for one week is not dating. 

Eff that. This stranger doesn't get any say over your life. 

Well, no. You two are strangers who've been chatting for 7 whole days. There's no basis for love. 

Not yet. That doesn't mean she won't. 

Oh, yes, Absolutely yes!

 

Thank you, I guess I just needed a reality check.

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13 hours ago, ImperialGlove said:

Hey people, I don't know if this is the right forum to post this but after posting on Reddit was unsuccessful, this is the first forum that came up on google se here I am.

Here is my story, I'm a conventionally unattractive guy, I'm not an extremist or an incel but I post a lot about beauty standards and vent on r/ugly quite often om my Reddit account. A week ago, I received a DM from stranger who turned out to be a girl, apparently she liked my "personality" as she's went through my entire profile and I post a lot so u could kinda tell what type of people I am through my posts and comments. I made sure she was a girl through a brief video call that barely lasted 10secs. I've never had a gf, thought I'd be alone so when an opportunity presented itself, I took it and we became a couple on day 2. She never mentioned anything about liking my physical appearance even though she keeps telling me to lose the idea that I'm ugly. Enough with the introduction, now to the actual problem. I always find myself messaging first, she only replies like 3 times a day with 6 hours time between each reply and the last reply is always past 2am when she's sure I'm asleep and can't hold a convo with her. I'm always the one trying to keep the convo alive, she always finds the smallest excuse to come at me, refuses calls, refuses to give me her Whatsapp number and also refuses to game with me even though she's had many male friends she used to play with. I've never had a gf so I have high hopes and I daydream about a life with her. I wait the entire day for her messages and answer her instantly even when I'm in the bathroom. The earliest she'd answer in a day is at 3-4pm and she doesn't even have school yet. She also tells me to delete any girls I have on my social media accounts and stop watching porn even though she told me that she'll never send me any nudes. So I'm wondering does she really love me or is she the kind of people who preys on dudes with low self esteem in order to boost her own ego? I don't know what to do anymore, should I block her altogether and rest? Should I continue doing this?Thanks for reading!

N.B:We're 2500km away from each other and we are from different countries, my passport won't allow me to visit her country but hers will allow her to visit mine.

TL,DR: My online gf doesn't chat with me with the same passion as I do with her and I don'r even know if she loves me.

My God, man, This is a pure scam. Delete her number and block her everywhere. This is no brainer.

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I know someone who was, in a lot of ways, just like you. He struggled with meeting weird girls/short relationships that went nowhere. Eventually he did meet someone, and are now married. Never give up on meeting your love.... 🙂

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She's not your GF.  She's somebody you talk to on line.  The interaction is fun & important to you but you can't date or fall in love with somebody you have never met. 

When on line is all there is, that is not all that interesting. Actual real life interactions always take precedence.  You are unrealistic in expecting her to prioritize the fantasy of you with her real life. 

You need get over your looks / beauty standards issues.  Be a good person on the inside.  That will radiate through & let people be attracted to the person you are, not just what you look like.  

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