4 year old twins are overly sexualized

[Bigchieff]

Hey will keep this brief.

I am divorced and wife moved in with new guy ( which she denies).

We have joint custody of 4 yo twins Boy and Girl. I would normally try not be naked around them, but the other day I got of shower and she had come upstairs. I went grab a towel but before I did she went to grab my "willy (her word)". Which I thought was very inappropriate and weird. I said no no dont ever do that that private and very rude to do this to adults. She was laughing in 

The kids stay with me 3 nights a week, and I put them down in their own bed but at some stage they will both come into my bed upstairs and we actually get some sleep. BUt recently I have noticed they are fascinated by Bum bums and pee pees and she will show her "pee pee" randomly and just say look at my pee pee. 

I have talked to my son also and asked him if he ever sees **** "willy" and he said yes and he plays with it. They both said other stuff as well that in my opinion is completely inappropriate for a child yes a lone a 4 yo. 

I showed him my finger and said what do you do to his willy. he demonstrated what he did. Then I said does juice come out...........this is hard for me to write. 

The kids talk quite well. Why would they make this up? 

I said when does he do this, is mommy there? NO Mommy is at the supermarket.

I like in UAE, I went to a western Therapist but she said she cannot talk to just one of me as mother has joint custody so both parents need to be involved. 

I talked to my lawyer, he said it has to now be reported to the police. It has been. 

Going over and kicking his ass, is not a good long term solution.

Divorce is in full swing, very nasty, but I am not making up what the kids have said to me. She will just think this a pathetic chess move on my part. 

I had to this right? 

 

[MissCanuck]

37 minutes ago, Bigchieff said:

I had to this right? 

Absolutely, yes. 

37 minutes ago, Bigchieff said:

She will just think this a pathetic chess move on my part. 

Who cares? You have the best interest and safety of your children at stake here. 

[Batya33]

I'm glad this was reported. I highly recommend - the Its So Amazing series (which was recommended by my son's pediatrician)for age appropriate sex ed which also helps kids be protected from pedophiles, etc. Also the Safety Stranger Chick video series by Walsh who produced Americas Most Wanted - I had my son watch it starting at age 5 and it's about appropriate interactions with strangers, personal space etc.  

And I'd recommend therapy for them -play therapy or regular -whatever their doctor recommends.  I'm so glad you were so aware of this. 

[ShySoul]

When it comes to the safety of your children, of course it is justified. They are the top priority. Do whatever you have to in order to give them a safe and caring environment to grow up in. If someone is endangering that, they need to be reported and hopefully removed from the situation.

And if something is going on, then your ex should be grateful you did this. Per them, she wasn't around when it happened, so she probably isn't aware and would hopefully have the same reaction as you.

[Seraphim]

I am so very sorry for your babies. I was sexually abused as a young child and a teen . Thank you so much for protecting them. Do all in your power to do that . Also please get them some psychological help . 

[shouldhavelearned]

So sad

Yes, do what you can to report it.

[BeatPoet]

Even if you're not 'on speaking terms', your ex-wife should prioritise her children over a child-molesting new partner. 

[Jaunty]

I'm sorry.  You're in a terrible situation; so are your kids,  but you did what you needed to do.