Horrible manager left

[sweetlady]

I went back to work end of January and we had a manager from another store looking after our store who was really understanding. He settled me back into work. 

Then my company hired a manager for our store so the one looking after ours went back to his store. I was trying to like her but didn't and she just didn't understand my fibromyalgia.

I finally had enough and put grievance in we had the hearing. In meantime we did work together some days were fine and last shift I was quiet due to personal reasons. I spoke to if I had too. I didn't think much was done for grievance just slap on wrist she had to help me more. Really she discriminated against my health, she was a bully all sorts which a lot of grievance report didn't agree with. She removed me from our work WhatsApp group and that was only thing that was they agreed with. Some lame excuse and in the report she said she invited me back in and I blocked her. I had to email our regional saying it wasn't true. She added me back in the group again. I was hesitant about accepting it but I did.

Then Saturday morning she said she found another job and she won't return after her two weeks holiday. I thought I was dreaming but also happy.

To be honest it was just about what she done to me. It people left because of her and another colleague said something to me. I can see how she did things and wasn't correct. She was awful to customers but in the end customers like her. She was all faking nice that's because she wanted her sale. Our company not that hard selling sort of place. Anyway I had another colleague ask me about things the manager didn't obviously train her on. Last shift was ridiculous and the pressure on that girl in charge for her to tell I need to complete a task when she knew I was busy. I was I will try too do it. But she did help and box was completed. Can't help if our store was busy and was tied to the till.

Not sure if it was me why she left or she just couldn't handle the job the manager. I honestly don't know where they got her from. Probably from the pile of of rubbish managers I don't know. 

My situation with my health still will cause me to maybe leave in new year. Which this is what the manager doesn't know. I decided January I make a decision if she won't let me go back to Saturday's. 

I honestly am relieved but do think now what will happen. 

It really affected my mental health causes me to make personal issues I already had much worse.

[MissCanuck]

43 minutes ago, sweetlady said:

I honestly am relieved but do think now what will happen.

What specific scenarios are you worried about? 

[Batya33]

Do you have documented what your manager is supposed to "understand" about your fibromylagia? What specific things you have to be accommodated with? Do you have it documented that if  you have a flare up you will be on leave or if you come in have modified schedule or tasks?

It sounds like you were injecting yourself into non-job related things -was the WhatsApp group for job-related scheduling or more personal? Why do you care if she was fake nice to customers or not - you're not her manager and did that affect how you did your job? Obviously you have two hands and two feet and cannot be in two places at once so you do your best to work productively and efficiently.  

Some employees are jerky- act like bullies -I'm really sorry if that was part of the situation.  I was in some toxic work environments and it is awful and some of what you describe sounds like perhaps you played a role in how bad it was and the escalation.  Be happy she left - and take it day by day as far as who her replacement is and I suggest having specific documentation of your diagnosis - fibromyalgia from all I know is broad and has varying symptoms in different people so I know from friends -not a doctor, etc - so understanding it may be too much of an ask of a non-healthcare person who works in a store.

[MissCanuck]

4 hours ago, sweetlady said:

She was awful to customers but in the end customers like her.

Also, this doesn't really make sense. 

Can you explain how she was awful to them? If they liked her, then she was obviously not completely terrible to their faces. 

[AuthenticSelf]

What results are you looking to achieve in this situation?

A better manager, a better health, understanding from college, etc. 

What are you trying to focus on? 

[ShySoul]

Sorry you had to experience that. Some people are not built to be good managers. Sounds like she was good at the business part of it - the fake niceness to impress customers. But she was terrible at actually managing and interacting with people. That probably caught up to her and either she or the company realized it wasn't a good fit. 

Just be glad she is gone and you don't have to deal with her anymore.

Are you concerned with who will replace her? If so, it's natural to be worried. There's nothing you can do about that though. Just stick to doing the best job you can and let management worry about the rest. And if you are planning on leaving soon, it doesn't really matter. Do the time to the best of your ability and look for brighter horizons when the time comes.

I also hope your health is doing okay. Good luck with everything.

[sweetlady]

On 9/15/2024 at 10:53 PM, AuthenticSelf said:

What results are you looking to achieve in this situation?

A better manager, a better health, understanding from college, etc. 

What are you trying to focus on? 

An understanding manager would be a good start but I may leave for personal reasons now.

[Batya33]

2 hours ago, sweetlady said:

An understanding manager would be a good start but I may leave for personal reasons now.

What does understanding manager look like to you - get very specific on your personal expectations so you can ask the right questions and get the correct information when you look for another job.  I manage people and have for many years and what looks like "understanding" to some might not to others.  When I was pregnant I needed understanding from my bosses at times when I was exhausted or had lots of ultrasound appointments but that was very very specific and contextual and frankly had little to do with emotional understanding -I needed practical understanding like don't give me a deadline on a day I will be out for 2 hours at my doctor, and don't schedule me to fly somewhere in my 3rd trimester.  They didn't have to understand all my pregnancy symptoms -heck I didn't always either- it was on me to communicate my particular issues that day or that week. 

From all I know fibromyalgia looks different in different people and is more of a range and spectrum.  Kind of like pregnancy.  Both are disabilities. You'll find a better fit if you know what you need and you may need to work part time and/or take a pay cut to find a more flexible work environment. I did when I went back to work after SAHM. I didn't expect my bosses to "understand" what it's like to be responsible for a 7 year old if I chose to work in an environment where everyone had to pull their weight and show up nights/weekends whenever the work came in. Why would I get that 'understanding" when my coworkers might not.  So I didn't take that sort of job. Which required taking a job for lower pay.  Hope this helps.

[AuthenticSelf]

10 hours ago, Batya33 said:

What does understanding manager look like to you - get very specific on your personal expectations so you can ask the right questions and get the correct information when you look for another job.  I manage people and have for many years and what looks like "understanding" to some might not to others.  When I was pregnant I needed understanding from my bosses at times when I was exhausted or had lots of ultrasound appointments but that was very very specific and contextual and frankly had little to do with emotional understanding -I needed practical understanding like don't give me a deadline on a day I will be out for 2 hours at my doctor, and don't schedule me to fly somewhere in my 3rd trimester.  They didn't have to understand all my pregnancy symptoms -heck I didn't always either- it was on me to communicate my particular issues that day or that week. 

From all I know fibromyalgia looks different in different people and is more of a range and spectrum.  Kind of like pregnancy.  Both are disabilities. You'll find a better fit if you know what you need and you may need to work part time and/or take a pay cut to find a more flexible work environment. I did when I went back to work after SAHM. I didn't expect my bosses to "understand" what it's like to be responsible for a 7 year old if I chose to work in an environment where everyone had to pull their weight and show up nights/weekends whenever the work came in. Why would I get that 'understanding" when my coworkers might not.  So I didn't take that sort of job. Which required taking a job for lower pay.  Hope this helps.

I agree with this. It is more about how you know when you meet that understanding manager. 

I once had an understanding manager but at first, it seems like he was not "understanding" me at all. 

People show their understanding differently as well. 

So, just to check, how do you know when you meet that understanding manager?