Kind of long...but need some opinions please

[porcupine7578]

this one crosses multiple categories....so i tried to pick the one that suits it the best.

 

so bf and i got back "together" recently. i broke up with him a while back because i felt like our relationship had grown more into a friendship. he is like a best friend - not so much a bf. but he is adamant that we are "the ones" for each other that i started to doubt and feel bad about breaking up with him. so then we started seeing eachother again...and falling into the same pattern as before we broke up.

 

the thing is.....i wasn't happy in that relationship.....but i wasn't unhappy. it was just kind of THERE....i just feel like there should be something MORE (we were together for 5 years).

 

i don't know whether relationships after a while just naturally turn to this "friendship" stage....or whether it's US.

 

and lately.....all i keep wishing for is to have someone FUN to hang out with, flirt with, hook up with and not have the pressure of all this commitment. it just feels like whenever my bf and i are together....it's just SO dull....we never do anything fun. he hates going out and doing the "scene". he doesn't drink, doesn't like crowded and loud places. he is always perfectly happy just renting a dvd and staying home. i just feel like we are too DIFFERENT. i was a bf who will go out and party and dance with me once in a while......

 

but i know that rationally....he is a really good guy and very sweet and so good to me. he would probably be someone who's a great dad and a good provider.....i just don't feel very passionate about him.....

 

am i going through a phase? or is this just a sign that this relationship should be a DNR...

[reflectionlessmirror]

My last relationship was similar and we finally called it quits. All he did was drink and party and i was motivated with school and work. I often feel i would like to get back with him but then I remember the differences. You will probably want to move on. I have been in nc for a week plus with my ex and it feels right. Your differneces will never change.

[misery12]

You don't know how much your situation sounds compared to how mine was. My girlfriend and I broke up about 3 weeks ago, because she said it started to feel more like a friendship.. which hurt, because I would have loved to just kiss her everyday and so on.. I was just sort of worried about what her reaction would be. Now, we're best friends, and im hoping for another chance to get back with her, you just have to be ready to change. Your boyfriend seems like the type of guy I was.. except I loved going out with my gf, doing fun things, and all that.

 

Maybe one night, you should just suggest going out, and if he says he'd rather stay home.. just go out with some friends.. he'll feel guilty, and sooner or later realize that he's being boring, and if he wants to keep you, he has to put in an effort as well.

Don't settle, but don't just leave.. give him a chance to change.. show him you want him to.. and if he loves you, he'll change.

[shorty20]

I had a boyfriend like that. He came up with every excuse in the book not to go out. He was tired, had worked all day, didn't want to be around people... etc etc.... when i tried to break up with him, he apologized, said he realized he'd been starting to bore me and that he'd change. Three weeks later we were stil sitting on his couch with all his dead beat friends smoking pot... not where I wanted to be, so I just called it quits. I knew I couldn't live like that for the rest of my life, and the fact that he was ok with how his life was going was enough for me to leave... it sounds like this guy you're seeing dosen't have as many problems as my bf did though... if the only problem is not going out, then just tell him that. Say that after being together so long, you still need to do things to keep the relationship alive, keep the sparks going. Granted, you're not going to be on clowd 9 like you are the first couple months, but you'll be happy with him, and if he puts forth the effort to take you out once in a while, you'll definatley appreciate it. Try something small at first, like going to a movie or something... but I would voice my concern with him... honesty is always the best bet when it comes to relationships. Good luck!

[porcupine7578]

THANKS for the feedback!!! =)