nath3n318 Posted August 26 Share Posted August 26 Everyone I know including my parents and teachers call me things like " pedo " and " child predator" and it really gets to me. It makes me not want to date her. I do turn 18 before she is 16 which makes it worse. It's too late to keep it private. It makes me feel horrible and I think about it constantly. She made the first move, she came up to me. The first thing I ever asked her was her age. It's not like I'm a creep. It took me a while to even ask her out because of the age gap. If she was just any girl I could find someone else no problem. But this girl is different and I feel a deep connection with her. We get each other. We are like the same person. We are in love. I don't want to lose her but the things people say make me feel horrible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yogacat Posted August 26 Share Posted August 26 It's different if you started dating her if you were 18 but 17 and dating a 15yr old is more " socially acceptable". In most states, an 18-year-old can date a 16-year-old provided that the relationship is not sexual. Why don't you refrain from dating each other when she is 15 and wait until she turns 16? ===> that is the quickest way to secure your independence without raising alarms and hackles from family members and friends. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AxiomAlan Posted August 26 Share Posted August 26 Don't pay attention for what others say, no one gets to control your decision or change it, specifically in dating. You choose who to date, and the age gap isn't very far away, only 3 years apart, even me and my girlfriend are 3 years apart, I'm 14, she's 11 🙂 You two belong together :)) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShySoul Posted August 26 Share Posted August 26 Other people's opinion shouldn't impact your relationship. Your relationship is your relationship. It's no one else's concern. As like you like each other and treat each other with love and respect, age doesn't really matter. As of right now you are both under 18, so there is nothing wrong with it. And even once you turn 18 as long as it's not sexual there would still be nothing illegal or wrong either. It's also only two years. This isn't you seeing an 11 year year old. In two years she will be 18 and you will be 20. Would anyone have a problem with that? No. So should they have a problem now? I come at this with a unique perspective. When my brother was 26 he had a relationship with a 16 year old. To most that would seem odd. But she was an extremely mature 16 year old taking college classes who looked older. There wasn't sex involved while she was underage. And her parents knew about it and gave their full blessing. He wasn't a pedophile or creep. They just had a lot in common and found they had feelings for each other. And the relationship lasted several years. You love who you love. As long as that love is handled with mutural respect and compassion, that is what matters most. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poorlittlefish Posted August 26 Share Posted August 26 How times have changed. I was 14 when I met my 17-year-old boyfriend back in the 80s and literally nobody cared, let alone gave either of us any grief. You should avoid having sex etc until she is of legal age (not that I did, but we live in a very different world now). 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capricorn3 Posted August 26 Share Posted August 26 4 hours ago, AxiomAlan said: Don't pay attention for what others say, no one gets to control your decision or change it, specifically in dating. You choose who to date, and the age gap isn't very far away, only 3 years apart, even me and my girlfriend are 3 years apart, I'm 14, she's 11 🙂 😦 Is that even legal? She's still a little girl, not even a teenager. Where on earth are the parents? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissCanuck Posted August 26 Share Posted August 26 7 hours ago, nath3n318 said: Everyone I know including my parents and teachers call me things like " pedo " and " child predator" I'm sorry, what? Why are your teachers commenting at all on your love life? I get that your parents have an opinion, but how exactly do these teachers even have the opportunity to call you names? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smackie9 Posted August 26 Share Posted August 26 I am not sure why grown adults would use such words on a young person...it is literally irresponsible because accusations like that are a serious thing. IMO they are being idiots.... If any of this is true. OK this has to be under the guidance of your parents. If her parents are against it, then you have to honor that regardless of her making the decision to approach you. I'm Guessing your parents have some concerns...well I agree with them because no one wants to deal with a teenage pregnancy. I say better keep it in your pants because you could be charged for statutory rape...even if sex it's voluntary. To add you both better get educated about birth control, etc. The pull out method doesn't work. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShySoul Posted August 26 Share Posted August 26 10 hours ago, Capricorn3 said: 😦 Is that even legal? She's still a little girl, not even a teenager. Where on earth are the parents? Believe a girl in my class had an boyfriend when she was 12 and he was 13 or 14. Plus a lot depends on maturity level. Some people can handle it better. And some people still can't handle it as fully grown adults. Plus I wonder what their perception of boyfriend/girlfriend even is at that age. I imagine for most they won't be planning on doing more "adult" things, though the adults should make sure to keep an eye on things. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coily Posted August 26 Share Posted August 26 These people making those comments (your parents included) are disgustingly out of line. 2 year age gap has these weirdos making you feel uncomfortable. Sure this will present some difficulties, you'll graduate and she will still be in compulsory education. Things will change, for both of you as you two have different experiences. Out side of your parents and her parents; these people need to butt the heck out of your business. Be smart, look into age of consent laws where you live; wrap it; and more importantly enjoy her company. Dating young is a great experience, for some it's a lifetime bond, for others it's the beginning of a grand adventure in dating and the art of relationships. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catfeeder Posted August 26 Share Posted August 26 8 hours ago, MissCanuck said: I'm sorry, what? Why are your teachers commenting at all on your love life? I get that your parents have an opinion, but how exactly do these teachers even have the opportunity to call you names? Yeah, consider reporting those teachers for bullying. I was 14, first BF was 17. We were together 3 years. If she's not legal while you're 18, I'd stay in public until she reaches age of consent. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nath3n318 Posted September 2 Author Share Posted September 2 On 8/26/2024 at 5:58 AM, MissCanuck said: I'm sorry, what? Why are your teachers commenting at all on your love life? I get that your parents have an opinion, but how exactly do these teachers even have the opportunity to call you names? He is a close teacher, an rotc instructor. He's more like a dad to me. Not sure if he was joking but I did kind of take it to heart 😕 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nath3n318 Posted September 2 Author Share Posted September 2 On 8/26/2024 at 10:38 AM, smackie9 said: OK this has to be under the guidance of your parents. If her parents are against it, then you have to honor that regardless of her making the decision to approach you. I'm Guessing your parents have some concerns...well I agree with them because no one wants to deal with a teenage pregnancy. I say better keep it in your pants because you could be charged for statutory rape...even if sex it's voluntary. To add you both better get educated about birth control, etc. The pull out method doesn't work. We keep it non sexual for a few reasons including that, but yes her parents are more than fine with it. They love me and think I am the best boyfriend she's had. My parents have concerns about the statutory rape thing but we live far and only see each other so often anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShySoul Posted September 2 Share Posted September 2 8 minutes ago, nath3n318 said: He is a close teacher, an rotc instructor. He's more like a dad to me. Not sure if he was joking but I did kind of take it to heart 😕 If you are close I'm going to hope it was just an inappropriate joke that he felt he could make due to your friendship. Should be more careful with staying stuff like that. I had a professor once get in trouble for saying something that a student took as offensive, even though it wasn't meant to offend and was supposed to be part of a lesson. You have to be more careful about what you say, especially when you are in a position of authority around youngsters. Try to not let it bother you. If the two of you are happy and all the parents are okay (as much as they can considering they are parents bound to worry), then you are fine. Enjoy the relationship and don't do anything that either of you aren't comfortable with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissCanuck Posted September 3 Share Posted September 3 9 hours ago, nath3n318 said: He is a close teacher, an rotc instructor. He's more like a dad to me. Not sure if he was joking but I did kind of take it to heart 😕 It is highly inappropriate for any teacher to speak to you like that. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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