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Have you tried maybe a lubricant? Do you think that you may be tensing up and that could be causing some of the pain?


Since you can't change his size, consider different positions that are easier for you. And if/when on top, you can control the depth of penetration better by sort of straddling him and not letting him go too deep. I would talk to him though and tell him to take it slow and that you will tell him when it is a little too painful. Let him know so that he can change his angle, speed, thrust, etc.


Hope this helps? If not, maybe consult a GYN as well to see how other women may have handled it.

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I'd also suggest a lubricant.


You could talk to your partner and tell him if it's your first time that it may be painful, and that he could be considerate.





Trouble is part of your life — if you don't share it, you don't give the person who loves you a chance to love you enough.

Dinah Shore

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Massive amounts of foreplay. All the lubricant in the world won't help as much as you being relaxed.


Talk with your guy, let him know you are scared and let him know that the only way sex is happening is if you are able to get comfortable enough with the idea that you are totally turned-on and not fearful or nervous.


If/when you decide you are ready to have sex take it slowly, no rushing through the foreplay to get there. The more relaxed and comfortable you feel the more relaxed your muscles will be, including the muscles in your vagina. Remember women's bodies are designed to birth babies, we've got a lot of stretch down there, but if you are tense your muscles will tense and it will hurt and not be able to stretch, if you are relaxed your muscles will relax and you will automatically stretch.

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Make sure you have an effective means of birth control. Pulling out is not effective.


Sex is not simply penile-vaginal intercourse. If he immediately begins thrusting his penis into you it will be painful. Sex is a full body experience and should not begin with the unbuttoning of pants. If it is your 'first time', you're honestly better off turning it into a love making session. Kiss, stroke, enjoy each others bodies for quite some time. You're best off to have an orgasm at least once before penetration. Then, lube up, have him begin by using a few fingers, eventually making your way to penile-vaginal intercourse.

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