Need urgent feedback

[Reilly2856]

Hey Guys,

 

Need suppport again, for I'm going crazy. Here's the deal: I've known my ex for 4 years, and we dated on again off again. When it ended, I maintained no contact for a year, but kept thinking about him here and there. On an impulse, I IMed him and he responded. This happened about a few weeks ago. We talked and it was nice, we contined to talk for the next few weeks during which he gave me mixed signals....flirting and then withdrawing again. All very confusing. Then suddenly he withdrew completely and I figured, its time to maintain that N.C. thing again. I have no idea why I'm drawn to this guy. We are both very different ppl from the time when we met, and besides the past, there really isn't anything that draws me to him....yet, I still go back...soooooooooo frustrating. And it isn't even like I havn't met other guys that are so much more....but still, I can't help but think of him. I AM WEAK!!! Any suggestions on how to get past this........I know I deserve better, but his absense in my life makes the heart grow fonder.

[newts]

Did he break up with you? If he broke up with you, you as the dumpee will always have more feelings towards that person than them to you.

 

Maybe he was your first real love, you never forget your first true love. You just move on and meet other interesting and more suitable people.

 

You will probably find that when you meet somebody new and really like, you feelings for him will diminish and you will look back and have a giggle.

He will probably always be special to you, just remember when you do meet that somebody great, your feelings of desire for him will leave you, however, he will probably always have a special place in your heart where he will remain.

[sidehop]

Have you dated anyone else after you broke up with him? Sometimes we miss the good things (especially over the bad ones) the most and our mind and body tends to 'crave' those feelings...whether it'd be loved, hugged, kissed and so on.

 

Aside from that being with him for four years is a long time to get to know someone & having to let go. Sometimes time is the only that can heal and understand what's really worth it & what to get back...or try to.

 

If you feel you deserve much better, believe that you do because chances are, you deserve SO much better then what you think

[Reilly2856]

We were fighting a lot, and so when I headed off to college we sort of just ended things. Since then I have tried to go out, but am not really too open to the idea of dating again. Might be cause I am still stuck on him. He was the first guy I was really serious about. There are so many great things about him, but also others that plain tick me off. I guess, I know that he isn't right for me, but talking to him still makes me happy. Sort of feels like old times. No contact thing isn't working, darn msn...lol. I blocked him, but then I keep on wanting to talk to him again. IT is hopeless.....

[sidehop]

It's not hopeless But it's definitely harder like I said considering you've been with him for four years and it was your first. Perhaps one day you two will meet again but you are in the comfort zone where you know it's not right but also makes you feel better.

 

I'm sure you'll find a person that will change your mind & heart. You just have let your heart seek and love yourself once again. There's more then one 'right' person for everyone. You don't have to seriously date...get to know different people and see where your life takes you. If you & your ex is meant to be, it will happen. If not, you have to learn to let it go

[ladyluck]

OMG i'm like in the almost exact same possition so the best advice i can give is just be ok with it being over what i mean is keep it as friends and when he flirts flirt back but don't go expecting a relationship it helps me, he's just another guy friend no more no less.