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amazing revelation..thank u enotalone

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i have realized that it truly truly doesnt matter what he does in his life...(my post that summarized my situation is called "getting over him..still some nagging feelings...please help"). One of my friends said that she and one of her other friends saw my ex the other day and their reaction was that he was lame. She said hes such a pot head and he jus looks pathetic. she proceeded to tell me i was the better part of him and the one who gave him a balanced life. after hearing that (but in my heart it was just confirming wat i already knew) i felt a very big sigh of relief. for the rest of the day i was on top of the world and i woke up this morning with the will to clean and the strength to listen to music again. when my friends told me that one day id feel better and that i am in fact a good person, of course i couldnt see it at first. but you know what..when somebody is bringing you down in a relationship, you need to get out regardless of comfort or "security." i put that word in quotes because i realize i was the one giving security, not getting it. the only kind i was getting was from myself. i can truly say ive reached a new chapter in my life and i am living my best life now. i have continued to keep him cut off from my life and i refuse to let him back in. my life is full and i look at everything now and see it for what it is....beautiful. and the best part of it all...ive found myself and im more happy not having to answer to anyone! my love really can be saved for someone who will return it. i know that in time some waves of nostalgia might kick in, and probably with him too...but hey, thats normal and i decided not to let it back in. i need someone to call a "man", not a boy. there was n future in it anyway and i got places to go in life! i also realized that my prayers were answered b/c everyday id be unhappy and wish to just be home again instead of out doing things that involved drugs and annoying people, with him. i have everyone on here to thank. i couldnt be stronger.

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thanks so much for your replies! i hope others can benefit from this, that's mainly why i felt the urge to post it. I want to be all about helping others because my "problems" are just so insignificant and there are people in this world who could use the help whose problems are more involved than mine ever were. i'm also only 19 so i've yet to match the experience that life still has to throw at me. what i do know is im done with the drug scene and everything and everyone that accompanies it. if anyone needs to talk, IM me at profoundkissez. (i have aim). thank you again

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