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So my boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 months He's 3 years older than me (he’s 22 and I’m 19) so he's busy between, work, college, and a lot of family issues and I'm also in college. Usually we try to see each other once or twice a week, depending on he's schedule and his availability. Now it has been a whole month since we last saw each other. I mean that's a lot. I understand that he has to deal with a lot of things but an entire month? And it's not like he compensates through text. No No no. He usually takes at least an hour to respond. The worst thing that he does, is that he often takes an entire 24h to respond to a single text. So when I want to discuss something important, he takes so much time to respond that I finally give up and not in the mood to talk about it. We were supposed to see each other but he got called in for work so we had to cancel. What surprised me is that he didn't even try to reschedule another date and I feel like if I don't do it, he will not actually propose something. I would really like to talk about it with him but I don't know why I just can’t do it Am I being too much? lately I kinda broke up with my him. We dated four months. However, during the whole summer we couldn’t see each other at all. I tried to make plans but it was worthless or there was always something that prevented us to see each other. Recently as a joke, I said that our relationship was over. at first he didn’t take it seriously, neither did i but later on, I kind of was serious but not really because I didn’t really wanted to break up. I mean it was not the goal of the text. so after I said that he was like “well why I treated you so good like what would you want to break up etc.” As a joke, I said, “did you really?” And I don’t know after this message is responses were kind of weird like I don’t know how to explain. He was not really replying to my texting anymore. And I was kind of offended because he didn’t even bother to ask why I wanted to break up. He just said OK or if I remember correctly, he said I understand. So I was kinda hurt. So I said “ you don’t even wanna know why I want to break up?” And he said “ I think I know why” so I just said, “so what is it according to you?” He Never really replied after that. On the other hand, I didn’t always thought about it but like I wanted to break up with him, but kind of not too. so I prepared a text in my notes , where I explained what was going through my mind and what I didn’t like about our relationship, that I hope that I will be able to send him someday but I didn’t have enough courage to send it. After that last message, that last text, I decided that it was the right moment to send it and I did and every since he never really responded I was still left on delivered so I don’t know if he saw it but I’m pretty sure he did but just didn’t reply to me. And recently, I remembered that I gave him my favorite book so I asked him if he could give it back to me because it’s actually very precious to me. So he asked me when and I gave him a day and since then he haven’t been responding.
what should I do? Was it too immature of me

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He's not that into you.  I'm sorry. I wouldn't have sent any text about something so sensitive especially since -you knew the answer right?

A 22 year old man might be incredibly busy -when I was 23 (in 1989) my 22 year old man in my life was -when I was 19 same for my 24 year old boyfriend -he had a more than full time job in the financial industry - and we had land lines - not even sure I had an answering machine at 19.  They made sure to see me once a week at least and the 22 year old was in law school and had family responsibilities too (his sibling) and so once in awhile it was 2 weeks like during exam period -and he did not live close to me either. 

Remember -this meant he had to call on a landline at my parents house where I lived and make sure he reached me in time during the week so I didn't make other plans.  Once we were exclusive (at around 6 months of dating) then our weekends were preplanned but -yes someone who is into you will want to see you at least once a week especially after 3 months. I'm sorry.

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You don't want to continue to be strung along.  You dated for a couple months and you haven't seen each other in a month.  There was some weird conversations and it's clear as mud. 

Move on.  

It's sometimes put on the woman "to make a guy" want to be with her or to act better.  Like there's some magic trick. Like if the girl was better, the boy would be better to her.  This is wrong. But here is the truth:

You never have to figure things out with the right out guy.  You never have to change the right guy. The magic trick is- when you see a guy is not treating you the way you want, you ditch that guy.


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In the future, don't text about major things like breaking up. Save important topics for in person. But in this case, it really didn't matter. Not texting for 24 hours is a clear sign he just wasn't that into you. Because no matter how busy a person is, he has to eat meals and during that break, he could text. 

When you're trying to test the waters with an ultimatum or scare them with a break up to force them into action, it's a waste of time. A guy who is right for you won't have you wishing he would change his behavior for the better. He will already being making you a priority.

Luckily for you, you're at an age where you will be meeting a huge pool of single guys, so keep on going until you find a keeper. Take care.

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