Long Term Boyfriend

[Bsb99]

My boyfriend & I have been together for 7 years & bought a house together. We bought a puppy a couple Months ago which we both wanted. I wfh so im with puppy all day,walk,feed him etc but when my boyfriend comes home he doesnt walk him or play with him. He goes to sleep and after that says he wants to relax and cant help with the dog or uses other excuses like watching videos.

Everyday&nignt im looking after the puppy alone. Ive said numerous times stop making excuses its both of our dog and looking after her should be shared. My boyfriend just acts like im being ridiculous.  He says sorry but still doesnt help me. I said his taking advantage and it isnt right but nothing changes. We dont have children and if he cant help with a dog I imagine children would be the same which majorly puts me off. I cook,clean the kitchen and he never washes up as his too busy with whatever excuse he goves. Only washes up / looks after puppy if ive gone away   even then I have to keep reminding him to feed her/take her outside if his not gone back to sleep of course. He has the cheek to tell me its hard Looking after a puppy. Why not help me then? 

 He also drags his feet with everything in life for example decorating /other things and its always some excuse why he cant get things done or someone elses fault. He talks alot but spends more time making coffee than doing any decorating etc. Im sick of the bull*** & feel trapped with a pisstaker! I dont know how to make things get better. 

[Capricorn3]

13 minutes ago, Bsb99 said:

He also drags his feet with everything in life for example decorating /other things and its always some excuse why he cant get things done or someone elses fault. He talks alot but spends more time making coffee than doing any decorating etc. Im sick of the bull*** & feel trapped with a pisstaker! I dont know how to make things get better. 

Girl, seriously, it is more than obvious that you will never be able to make things better! Why on earth would you even want to continue being with this jerk?  I mean, after 7 years of misery and you want more??  Man, this really messes with my brain.

You are NOT trapped.  You have choices.  You can choose to get rid of him and start a new, and better life.  YOU have the power to change your situation.  You say you are sick of the bull***.  Well, DO something about it. End this dysfunction and misery. 

If you continue to stay, you are telling him you approve of this dysfunction.  You allow him to treat you this way.  Continue to stay?  That's on YOU. 

And for the love of everything holy, please DON'T bring any children into this world with this guy.

[Wiseman2]

6 minutes ago, Bsb99 said:

 He has the cheek to tell me its hard Looking after a puppy. Why not help me then? He also drags his feet with everything in life 

Sorry this is happening. Unfortunately you own the house together. Clearly talking, asking, negotiating, begging, pleading nagging, etc.hasn't helped with household stuff or the dog. Why? Because you continue to pick up the slack. 

Cut back on your resentment by cutting back on things you resent doing. It's that simple.

Take care of yourself and your dog. Whatever else he wants to do is fine. Sadly you seem to be driving the relationship where he appears to just be coasting along for economic, sexual and housekeeping convenience.

He's not going to change and nagging won't help. It's up to you to take whatever action you need to to discontinue feeling taken advantage of.  You seem to have an unwilling BF. 

[Batya33]

I also would leave.  Not because of decorating - if you love to decorate a home and your partner doesn't that's on you -so either you decide that's so important to you it's a dealbreaker or you do it yourself since your partner isn't into it.  I would leave because his actions show he doesn't care and doesn't want to be a partner/team player to you.  A puppy is a huge responsibility from all my observations and takes commitment and a lot of work! (I've never owned a dog).  It's so unfair you two adopted a puppy and he's putting it all on you. Who cares if you WFH -he can do other things -when he is home, and/or make sure all the food/supplies are there, arrange for puppy training as needed ,etc etc.  

[Andrina]

You may as well be living with a rebellious 13 year old boy, because he's no more mature than one. I'm sure you had warning signs of how he normally behaves within the first few years of dating, but you continued on, anyway. A hard lesson learned that hopefully you will have learned from for the future. When you see dealbreakers, cut them loose before any further investment.

If it were me, I'd start getting him off of all credit cards and bank accounts that you added him as a joint owner on. Hopefully you can sell the house with financial gain or at least without a loss. When this happened to a friend, she got a promissory note to make regular payments to her ex to buy the house from him. Good luck.

[Cherylyn]

If you don't see any improvement for the future,  you could contemplate selling the house,  splitting everything up and move into your own place with your puppy.  He doesn't help you with pet ownership,  doesn't help you with housekeeping and running a household so why be with him?  He refuses to cooperate.  😡  He sounds like a loser.