Should I move on after our first Tinder date in the following situation?

[Scotch998]

I had a date with a woman I met on Tinder. We had a nice talk at the restaurant and bar during the date, and there were even intimate touches from her side while I was helping her get home because she was too drunk, such as holding hands and touching. However, she became quite intoxicated, and I helped her get home safely, including carrying her up the stairs. The next day, I reached out to check on how she was feeling. I didn't ask for another date but expressed concern for her well-being. I felt unsure about when to ask about making future plans, as we didn't communicate much after the date. She said she had a sore throat from the cold drinks.

I wondered if the lack of communication meant she wasn't interested in me. I decided to wait but I’m still unsure. I wanted to reach out but didn't want to seem too eager.

I sent a message expressing my understanding and received a response indicating she needed time to recover. And afterwards we could plan something and that we will write soon. I felt a bit frustrated, thinking she might be creating false hopes. I'm unsure about the next steps and whether to message her again or wait for her to initiate contact. I want to show interest but also respect her need for space

[MrMan1983]

Sure she’ll recover from a hangover soon enough. Just wait a few days and suggest doing something on a certain date and if she’s wishy washy still or doesn’t try to set a date then there’s your answer, next and never look back. 

[Kwothe28]

I wouldnt look at her as a good dating prospect. Not with that intoxicated on a first date with somebody she just met. It suggests a drinking problem and the lack of control. 

[Wiseman2]

2 hours ago, Scotch998 said:

, she became quite intoxicated, and I helped her get home safely, including carrying her up the stairs.  as we didn't communicate much after the date. She said she had a sore throat from the cold drinks.

Try to let the dust settle. It's good you helped her out, however she may be embarrassed in addition to hungover. Perhaps she barely recalls the evening or who you are? 

Perhaps try reaching out in a few days asking for a second date. Maybe something without this much alcohol so you can get to know each other and remember the date. 

[Scotch998]

Well it’s the 4th day now after the date, and yeah as I mentioned her last message was 2 days ago that she needs to cure and time. And that we then can plan something and will chat. She hasn’t removed me from contacts either. But there is just this lack of communication that concerns me a bit. But who knows. I guess I enter the waiting room again 

[Batya33]

Does she know that nothing happened? I agree with Kwok and I wouldn't see her again. Did you pay for all those drinks on the first meet?

[Scotch998]

Yes I did pay for everything 

[Scotch998]

Like it’s just odd to me overall I gotta admit. I mean I even asked her to tell me with honesty if she’s interested and she replied with the message above about cure. It’s kinda mean in my opinion to let someone stay in the dark with uncertainty but It is what it is 

[Batya33]

1 minute ago, Scotch998 said:

Yes I did pay for everything 

So my sense is she meets up for a first meet largely for the free drinks.

[Batya33]

3 minutes ago, Scotch998 said:

Like it’s just odd to me overall I gotta admit. I mean I even asked her to tell me with honesty if she’s interested and she replied with the message above about cure. It’s kinda mean in my opinion to let someone stay in the dark with uncertainty but It is what it is 

After only a first meet silence =lack of interest. It's polite to respond but remember she chose to get sloppy drunk as a first impression so her manners/decorum may be um substandard especially if the guy is paying.

[Scotch998]

I paid like 150€ overall, it’s not that it bothers me, that’s not my issue. But at least just tell me straightforwardly that you’re not interested and all fine. This waiting inside the dark room and tearing the flower leafs “she loves me, she doesn’t love me” that is what bothers me 

[Scotch998]

There’s to add that I actually liked her, so I don’t know even want to say that much negative things. It’s only this one thing that concerns me 😆

[MissCanuck]

Does she strike you as a mature person with good judgment? 

You’re ignoring what her choices on a first meet-up with a stranger are indicating about her. 

[Wiseman2]

36 minutes ago, Scotch998 said:

Well it’s the 4th day now after the date, and yeah as I mentioned her last message was 2 days ago that she needs to cure and time. 

Have you actually asked her for another date? Unfortunately it seems she lost interest. Maybe she can't remember what happened or who you are?  It was only one date. Try not to hold your breath for her. Maybe she found someone else to finance her drinking habits?

[Scotch998]

I asked her of course, that’s where she replied “I need to heal first and then we can plan something we’ll chat ☺️” And yes she does know who I am😆

i gotta say though that we didn’t even text that much before the meeting. But I thought this might change after the first date 

[Coily]

I have to agree with Batya, she sounds like the type who will exploit a first date for drinks or a meal. Sadly too many entitled people like that, who skate by and leech off their dates as a way of “saving money.”

[Scotch998]

well, what can I say. Then the universe decided right I guess not letting it to go deeper into a relationship. However she seemed very charming and nice on the date itself. 

[Wiseman2]

51 minutes ago, Scotch998 said:

I asked her of course, that’s where she replied “I need to heal first and then we can plan something we’ll chat ☺️” 

Unfortunately this seems like you're being blown off. Maybe she's embarrassed, maybe she just isn't that interested. How long does a hangover really last? Step way back and see if she contacts you. 

[Scotch998]

She also complained about her sore throat due to many cold drinks, I even wanted to offer her a job since she came not long ago to Germany from Ukraine. 

[Wiseman2]

4 hours ago, Scotch998 said:

, she became quite intoxicated, and I helped her get home safely, including carrying her up the stairs. 

Why would you want to offer someone like this a job? 

[Scotch998]

I mean, wasn’t like “please buy me drinks to get drunk” the bar offer indeed did come from me after the restaurant. But she didn’t say no to drinking and we were both like “ah okay this will be our last drink” Obviously it wasn’t haha 

[Kwothe28]

1 minute ago, Scotch998 said:

since she came not long ago to Germany from Ukraine. 

Oh dear. Yeah, there is a high chance she went out with you to pay her dinner and drinks. Be lucky if you got away with just dinner. 

[Scotch998]

Yeah I assume that too even though it hurts. I wrote her hi couple of minutes ago. Let’s see her reaction. I keep it updated 

[MrMan1983]

3 hours ago, Scotch998 said:

But at least just tell me straightforwardly that you’re not interested and all fine. This waiting inside the dark room and tearing the flower leafs “she loves me, she doesn’t love me” that is what bothers me

Welcome to the world of online dating, in my experience it's 30/70 as to whether someone will say afterwards if they saw it as a hit or miss. Better to get used to it though and read between the lines when it comes to suggesting the second date and their enthusiasm levels. Understand it can be frustrating though after enjoying a date with someone you feel you connected with, been there many times.

Not sure why you bought all the drinks though and spent that much on a first date, did she even offer to get any rounds in?
 

1 hour ago, Scotch998 said:

I even wanted to offer her a job

Bit weird to offer a first Tinder date a job.

 

[MrMan1983]

1 hour ago, Scotch998 said:

Yeah I assume that too even though it hurts. I wrote her hi couple of minutes ago. Let’s see her reaction. I keep it updated 

What did you write?