Confused, confused, confused

[TLC1971]

I've posted before about my ex. Long story short, we are taking a two week break to give him time to think about our "issues." I decided not to contact him during that time (he is also in vegas at this time too).

He has a roommate that I called the other day to get my stuff and find out if he has heard from my ex. I shouldn't have called, but I did. Not meaning to discuss my ex with him, but as the conversation went on, we started to talk about my ex and what happened.

 

He gave me a lot of information on my ex. Things I did not know about. Things that made me second guess my decision to give him more time to think instead of dumping him myself. His roommate and I talked for about an hour.

 

Most of the things he told me I pretty much knew or guessed was the case, but was confirmed by his roommate.

 

Today the roommate calls me and wants to know what my decision is. I was a little bit put off, but I told him I was going to give my ex a few weeks to think. And that was what I was going to do. The roommate proceeds to go on and on and basically trying to convince me in a very sneaky way to get ready to be offically dumped. He didn't come out and say that but implied it.

 

I asked him if my ex said anything to that effect, he said no.

 

Here is what I think: while I do think most of what he said makes sense, I think he has some motives behind what he is telling me. I have a feeling he may like me and want to see this all end or try to convince me to call me ex up before the two weeks and pressure him which will drive him away. He does not know me well enough to look out for my best interests.

 

What do you all think?

 

I am feeling stressed, confused, tired of thinking and talking about this. I was feeling great until I talked to the roommate. I will not be discussing this with him again at all!!!!!!!!!!

[smorgie]

As hard as is, I would stick to the two week rule that you two made. Don't let outside forces who may have alternate intentions sway your decision. I think you should wait till you talk to you bf and sort through things then.

[Mun]

I don't think talking to his roomie is a good idea. You never know what his true intentions are.

 

Just do what you were going to do in the first place and also use this time to evaluate if this relationship is right for YOU.

 

Good luck!

[masterman_05]

even befor eyou mentioned it i was thinking ' uh oh this rom mat eis bad', NO guys friend whether close or not dogs out the other ESPECIALY when it comes to girls, no guy doe sit, its a unspoken rule.........

 

not only that, i just know what hes sayin has motives and i think u do too........what kinda guy rings YOU and asks what your doin when it has NOTHING to do with them.........someone who has their own intrests in the matter..........dont listen to him. instead se ehis words as a good way to know to do the complete opposite

[TLC1971]

Yeah, you are all right, I think this guy does have some motives other than trying to help out. Very weird. I am going to stick to my original plan and wait this one out. I just hope he does not go telling my ex what I said. I didn't say anything negative about my ex at all, but the fact that I was talking about our relationship is enough to make my ex VERY upset. But I fell in the trap of wanting to get more information from someone who knows my ex well. About 80% of what the roommate said went in one ear and out the other, the rest I will take in and consider. Not sure why he even wanted to talk, maybe he was bored - LOL.

 

I am also afraid that the roommate will use the words I said to him to make my ex think things that he otherwise would not have, does that make sense? The roommate could not tell my ex we talked, but if the subject comes up, the roommate could give his opinions based on what I said that make my ex think weird stuff kinda like I am doing now.

 

What a mess!!!!

[OUTOFTHEBLUE9]

I agree that there is most likely motive there with the roomie. I've been in the same situation with my ex and one of her good friends. She would tell me things to try and get me to be rid of her forever. These things made me so mad, so hurt, then to find out they weren't true. But after the fact I had made things worse by listening to the friend. I also know that this friend has always found me very attractive.

 

So my advice,

If he is going to dump you, nothing you can do or say will change that, but if thats not his plan, you can certainly change it so there is a 100% chance that he will dump you, because of what you accuse/do and say! Stick to your original plan, and ignore the roomie! Think about it!! Don't make my mistake!