I don't know what to do

[9882982]

I, 25F need an advice

What should I do ?

I am so confused. I am 25F. I started dating a man 34M (i'll call him K), but he had a gf and a baby. At the beginning he told me that the things between them don't work from about 2 years. We got in some sort of relationship, but i couldn't stand the situation. A few times i told him that i cannot be the other one for too long, he then comes back to me, says he has been talking to her and a few days later it is the same. Now i decided to end up things, for my own peace of mind. I was at a family event and there I met a man(S), which i haven't seen 2 years, i really liked him then, but i was in a relationship. This time i decided to "go with the flow" so we kissed a few times, we had really fun time. But I had to come back to my city. Then I told K, that i want to take some time, because at work happened something too, that i can't think clearly, then K told me that he ended things finally with his girlfriend . I don't know if it's true. I don't know what to do. I have feelings for him, but I am afraid that it is too soon to be in serious relationship with me, that he will miss her, and also i am worried about the other man, because apparently we both like each other. But my feelings for K are way more deep. I don't know if it's that i am being myself with him, not worrying how do i look or if i say something stupid, we have fun all the time. But also, he is a very negative-thinking person. That impacts me. So what do i have to do ? P.s. Sorry for my English, not my first language.

[Wiseman2]

1 minute ago, 9882982 said:

. I am 25F. I started dating a man 34M  but he had a gf and a baby.  i decided to end up things, for my own peace of mind

Sorry this is happening. You made the right decision ending it. Trust your instincts, this man is just bouncing back and forth between you and his GF. 

Free yourself from future headaches and heartaches and end it for good and delete and block him. 

[Kwothe28]

One thing I learned is that messy people end in messy relationship. You are quite literally dating a cheater. Who has a girlfriend and a kid. And you go around kissing some guy at the wedding. Which if we are being technical about it does make you a cheater. Thats a mess.

Break up with both of them. Start working on yourself and be single for a while. Because the way you are going you wont find hapiness in love. Some wedding guy you fooled around and some cheater with girlfriend arent going to bring you there. But if you do work on yourself and get your life in order, maybe some other guy will. 

Also, no, he didnt leave his baby momma for you. He just told you that because you wanted to leave.

[9882982]

55 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Sorry this is happening. You made the right decision ending it. Trust your instincts, this man is just bouncing back and forth between you and his GF. 

Free yourself from future headaches and heartaches and end it for good and delete and block him. 

Exactly, i am worried about more new drama and headaches. I've been struggling a lot before, i've been struggling with this guy. But maybe i should see their conversation (him to show me) ? I did not wanted to, but maybe i should and to see if it is true? He is struggling a lot right now too, but i think he gave up. I have feelings, but i can't tell yet ' i love you' like he did. And i wanted just to rest for a few moments, not to think about these things. The bad thing at my work gave me so much trouble sleeping, and it is a bigger worry. It was a tragedy. 

[shouldhavelearned]

Leave the drama behind and find someone that will focus on you

[9882982]

3 hours ago, shouldhavelearned said:

Leave the drama behind and find someone that will focus on you

Yeah, but now it comes out that i don't appreciate that he is leaving his GF for me, the thing that ' I wanted' 

[Wiseman2]

5 minutes ago, 9882982 said:

Yeah, but now it comes out that i don't appreciate that he is leaving his GF for me, the thing that ' I wanted' 

Please try not to cave to manipulation like this. He didn't leave his GF "for you", in fact he probably is still on/off with her.  Just run and free yourself.

[MissCanuck]

It doesn't matter if he is actually leaving her now.

He already showed you exactly who he is (a lying cheater) and you would be very foolish to entertain the idea of a relationship with him.

Raise your standards and forget this tool. 

[smackie9]

People who cheat on their SO lie lie lie. The "Oh our relationship is on the rocks" is the oldest cliché in the book. If it was so bad they would have left before getting involved with someone else. K has been blowing smoke up yer but the whole time. He manipulated you. He has no intension of leaving his GF. He's just being entitled to cheat. Even if he did leave her, what's stopping him from cheating on you and doing the same thing with someone else. No you did the right thing by ditching K. Take things slow with new guy, it will be well worth it. 

[boltnrun]

15 hours ago, 9882982 said:

Yeah, but now it comes out that i don't appreciate that he is leaving his GF for me, the thing that ' I wanted' 

You know he's a lying cheater. Why would you want to be in any kind of relationship with someone who's guaranteed to do the exact same thing to you that he's doing to his girlfriend?

And what about the poor child? Doesn't he care about the child at all?

[9882982]

Some new things happened these days and i think we are finished. He had to go on his friend's child baptism. I was waiting for him to tell something, but he did not. At the evening, someone uploaded a photo of him, her next to him and other couples so i was mad at him for not telling me that. I kinda knew it can happen, but he didn't told me anything and now i am the bad guy. He also thinks i am going to stop him from seeing his baby which can't happen, i am not that kind of person. He got mad ans didn't answer me, left me on seen, yesterday we DMd but he was so rude. In the evening he called me but i was still insulted so i did not wanted to speak so much and then he make me feel bad for that he is coming every night to see me, travelling, borrowing some money for him to come and now i am ungrateful. I got mad and told him just okay and i think this is the end. Maybe he screwed something and starting to act like innocent just to make me the bad guy and me to leave him, so he would tell around 'she left me'. 

[boltnrun]

You're mad the guy you're having an affair with is going to events with his actual partner? 

Sorry, but why are you surprised? SHE is his girlfriend. You are just the one he fools around with on the side. 

Why don't you want better for yourself? 

[Jaunty]

On 9/10/2023 at 8:31 PM, 9882982 said:

Yeah, but now it comes out that i don't appreciate that he is leaving his GF for me, the thing that ' I wanted' 

So what?  You said you'd ended it and kissed a guy.  Fine.  You'd already moved on.

He's a cheater and a liar and you would be quite silly to believe he is leaving his GF "for you."   Maybe he'll be leaving her because he's not into being in a committed relationship and wants to fool around with other women, which may or may not include you.  Or, he'll continue to just be a dirtbag and cheat on her.  Whatever.