Boyfriend's depression is impacting me

[Kitkatkid85]

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year and a half. He's been depressed on and off for probably about 10 months. I love him and have tried to be patient and understanding but when he says things like there is nothing positive about his life that part of him wants to get things over with and take his life and that nothing will get better, it gets very hard to deal with. There are starting to be more days now where he does not leave the house. I worry about whether he will ever come out of it and about how this will impact our ability to function as a couple or eventually share household responsibilities or have a family.  He is not the happiest with his current set of work circumstances and has said things about me being "the center of attention" in the relationship and that he's just along for the ride, but phrased in such a way that it's me doing something wrong to cause this.  I do love him, but when is it the time to confront the viability of the relationship?

[MissCanuck]

My first question is this: is he receiving any sort of help for his depression? 

My second question is: how do you respond when he talks about suicide? I would be on the phone with emergency services. Please do not assume he isn't serious. He needs a professional intervention immediately if he talking about taking his own life. 

 

[Wiseman2]

3 hours ago, Kitkatkid85 said:

 that he's just along for the ride, but phrased in such a way that it's me doing something wrong to cause this.  

Sorry this is happening. Yes it's time to reflect if the situation is viable. How old is he? Do you live together? Unfortunately you're not going to fix or change him. If he is suicidally depressed, please call emergency services. You need to walk away since he won't get help and simply engages in suicide threats and toxic blame. Is this the same man?:

 

[smackie9]

When they slip into depression, they need to get back to the doctor ASAP to be assessed and have their medication adjusted. Medication needs changing for time to time because the body gets used to it and the medication loses it's effectiveness. Regular exercise and changing to a healthy diet helps too.

[Cherylyn]

There are times when another person's problems become a drag.  As much as it's commendable to give constant moral support to a person whether in a relationship or someone else,  let's say a friend or relative,  after a while,  they become a burden especially if you have troubles of your own or have an extremely busy life to tend to.  It takes a toll on your mental and physical state.  It would be idyllic to be indispensable to someone's emotional needs but it is unrealistic,  taxing and an imposition. 

He was galighting you when he told you that you need to be the center of attention and the fact that he's just along for the ride?  It's time to deposit him so you can continue driving without him.  Gaslighting is twisting the narrative to make you look like there is something wrong with you.  Gaslighting is deflecting and manipulating the conversation because gaslighters control the conversation in their favor as their sole purpose is to confuse you and make you question your sanity.  Run for the hills.  🏃‍♀️