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6 years... is that so bad?

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i'm 16, she's 22... is that bad?


i love her and i don't want anyone thinking that she's taking advantage of me at all. i am mature and know exactly what i'm getting myself in for. i see no reason to doubt that my feelings aren't genuine but those around me think that the age gap is a problem.


is 6 years so bad?



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I agree with the people around you. There is a lot of difference in maturity and experience between 16 and 22. And although you may be mature I always think there is something wrong with the maturity level of the older person in this sort of situation.

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While if you were both older (say, you were 26 and she was 31) I would see less wrong with it but as the above posters have said, there is alot of emotional growth between the ages of 16 and 22, not to mention the fact that if you are having a sexual relationship that is statuatory rape and she could get arrested for it.

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I think its not the "years" in between that are most problematic at that age, but the differences in emotional maturity and life/relationships experiences. I would wonder why a 22 year old women is dating/interested in a 16 year old...at that age there is no way I would be looking at someone that age!

It just seems that SHE would have some issues to be looking at a relationship with a 16 year old.


If you were 30 and 36 it would be a whole different ball game.


And it may be illegal to boot.

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listen, i have no doubt in my mind that you really like her and hey she probably really likes you. and maturity i totally understand: you two could have the most amazing converstaions she could probably talk to you about real issues more than with anyone else her own age. (ive gone through it!!). however, the problem that arises with age gaps especially situated in the teen years vs. someone in their twenties is that your lifestyle is so different. shes thinking university, more sexually experienced and active, she prob has a job, car and a lot of freedom. she needs a bf who can "accommodate" that scheudale and same with you. now the issue that it is illegal as everyone mentioned is something to consider no doubt. i mean hey im 17 and very much interested in a guy whos 22 so its tough fro me to look at it as illegal interaction...age restrictions are REALLY STUPID (we can get married at 16! go to war at 18 but not drink till 19!) however they have them there. so it is best to try and follow that...so no sex. and as i said realize that this realtionship comes with real problems as i mentioned. not wiht maturity but iwth lifestyle. and yes to the public it will seem stragne that a woman of this age would be interested in a boy like you however my bf at the moment is 16 and me being 17 ppl call me a pedofile! so consider these issues.

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ok, well, i wasn't expecting such negativity. yes, she's 22 and yes 1'm 16 (soon to be 17) but i've had more experience than her. trust me on this... i'm not going into details.


i know that it's illegal for me to have sex with her an di wasn't planning on it. every other relationship i've had i've rushed into the sex and then it's only lasted a few weeks more so i don't want to do that.


and i do love her. she's is my everything and i feel totally lost without her txt messges and her calls and talking with her... i don't know what i'd do without her. (sorry, sappy lovey-dovey talk coming out here... ok, over it)


i'm not going to stop dating her but i dont really see how the age difference can be such a big concern with everyone. i don't believe that it is such a big issue but i guess i'm the only one who thinks that way.


maybe i should just not bother with it. should i keep dating her? i don't want to lose her but i don't want to cause problems for her.



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  • 1 year later...
i think that it is fine i am 17 and going out with this guy that just turned 22 and i love him to death so all the hATERS OUT THERE AGE DOSE NOT MATTER




so can they go to jail


It all depends on where you live. Where you are, 17 & 22 might not be considered statuatory rape.


However, I find a problem with your statement. If you truly loved this guy- you would not risk him being put in jail.


I don't think being logical and mature makes any one of us who posted advice "haters".

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Hey pizzachick...I think it's totally fine...lots of people have many stereotypes and get self righteous with them...In this case it's because most 16 year olds are immature compared to 22 year olds...but of course that's most doesn't mean it has to be you...you seem mature enough from your writing at least.


I certainly don't think you should stop dating her. If it makes you happy and you're comfortable with it go for it! The ones around you just think of the age difference but don't care enough to explore the kind of person you both are and how you get along...


I think the legal "argument" is just ridiculous too...the law itself is ridiculous - perfectly ok in one state then jail sentence in the next lol...But nobody prosecutes those things seriously anymore if it happens in your home(s) so nothing to worry about...


P.S. damn, just saw this was from over a year ago LOL but since I wrote all that I'll let it stay...

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Well, it's hard to say ''there's nothing you shouldnt be worried about'', because (depending on where you live, ofcourse) it most cases, it could be considered illegal- she could end up in jail. Yes, that sounds so negative, but you can't change the laws just because you're in love.


If you really love each other, then, you should do whatever it takes to make sure you both come out safely out of this. By that I mean, if she could get in trouble, then, talk to people that can help you. Parents, friends, school counselor. Someone that you could talk to about this, if you need to. Just try to be careful, and maybe wait until you turn 18.


Sorry that most replies sound negative, and I know that it gets you frustrated because it feels that no-one understandS how much you care for each other. Don't stop whatever great thing you're having with her, but just be careful.


Good luck!

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