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Bridesmaid Duties

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3 hours ago, boltnrun said:

Alex, you're choosing this path for yourself. What I don't understand is why. 

I don't understand either.  @Alex39, it seems at times that you have some self-awareness about how you're self-sabotaging.  I believe that you are subtly acknowledging that your status seeking, drive to impress others,  being exceptionally critical and judgmental,  etc. are  not positives and not helping your life.  

Is this true?

In any case, then you pivot instantly to a stance where you appear to find it completely normal to have the weird and toxic co-dependency with your family, your "frenemy" relationships with the other people in your life, and your feelings about status symbols.  Big long threads devoted to those things with no self awareness included.

Are you aware that you are self sabotaging and creating a very sad life for yourself, ALL BY YOUR OWN DOING?  

I realize that it's very hard to change patterns but 1) it can be done with help and 2) it will get much harder the older you get. 

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Long ago,  when my pre-narcissistic sister resided in an apartment and then a rented condominium / townhouse,  she lived modestly,  was very kind and unpretentious.  I miss the days when I drove 100 miles round trip to her humble abode,  enjoyed tea time at her kitchen table,  went grocery shopping together,  to the mall,  various errands,  cooked together,  enjoyed meals at her little kitchen table while I visited with my baby nephew and little nieces.  Those were the good old days. 

Fast forward to today.  She has since moved up in the world and while it's all well and good,  nowadays her ego is so inflated that it's exploding all the time.  She had to marry a possessive jerk (who is super rude,  obnoxious and has major 'mouth problems') in order to sustain her very affluent lifestyle in an enormous house of over 50000 sq ft,  rock pool with waterfall,  backyard gazebo, and large front yard wrap around deck in a coveted,  very posh,  exclusive gated community.  She walks with a very haughty attitude and possesses a very spoiled,  mealy mouth with zero empathy as if she is Rockerfeller or JP Morgan herself.  Incredible.  Her head got too big or she got too big for her britches as they say.  I miss the old her.

People usually focus on what type of human being you are;  not by your possessions.  Are you kind?  Do you watch your mouth?  Do you think before you speak,  write and act?  Are you sneaky?  Are you deceitful?  Will you betray me?  Will you easily and haphazardly call me a thief,  liar,  a cheat and consequences be ________ed?  Do you have a conscience?  Do you allow your mouth to fly off with abandon?  Are you a moral human being?  Are you considerate and extremely respectful?  Are you socially competent or inept?  Are you a snob and act in an arrogant manner?  Are you humble?  Are you selfless?  Do you think of other people's feelings?  Do you lack empathy?  Are you easy to get along with or very complex and complicated?  Do you lack emotional intelligence?   Are you so dumb and idiotic?  Whenever people size you up or determine what type of person you are,  these are the types of questions or traits which come to mind;  not where you live,  your beautiful yard or lack thereof and your best meals.  It's all about how you treat others because in the big picture or grand scheme of things,  nothing else truly really matters. 

People NEVER forget how you made them feel.




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