A positive story for all the people who are hurting.

[Cynder]

My mental health has been in the gutter for the last week.  It started with a really negative comment my Mom made and snowballed from there.  My boyfriend and I got into an argument later on that night and we don't argue often, so when we do it's emotionally devastating for me.  And one of the biggest festivals I do was last weekend.  My year pretty much revolves around two huge festivals and all the others are kind of filler.  I worked this huge event alone and cried every night in the hotel room and also cried every morning before leaving. 

My bf and I are what some would call long distance.  We live and hour away from each other and I can't drive.  When you can't drive, that distance might as well be in another country.  We both agreed we need to make an effort to see each other more.  (And I already know people reading this are thinking, "Why not just take an Uber?  Why not just take a taxi?"  Etc.  Ok... public transportation has it's limits and the expense is the biggest issue.  An Uber one way to his house from my house is about $85.  And a taxi is about $150.

But anyway I'm getting off topic...  Today at around 2 when I got up (I work graveyard so that's normal for me) I went downstairs and was thinking about what I'm going to do today, etc.  And then he called me and basically said, "Hey, surprise.  I'm ten minutes away and I'm taking you out."  He is from Germany living in the US and he is estranged from most of his bio family.  He has people here in the states that he considers like siblings, parents, etc.  When he came to pick me up he had his son with him and a woman he calls his sister and her daughter, who he calls his niece. 

We went to a local restaurant and ate, laughed, and had a good time.  I gave him the presents I got him at the festival over the weekend, etc.  I needed this so much.  Not just time with him, but social time in general. 

Ok... so here is the real kicker and the reason for this thread.  This restaurant is one of those places where the cooks work behind a counter and the customers can see them cooking.  Well, my ex was one of the cooks.  This is the girl who completely ripped my heart out who I've posted about here a lot.  I didn't notice her at first.  But right after we sat down and were all looking at the menu, I heard someone yell her name.  Her name is not a common name at all so that immediately got my attention.  I looked up and saw her manning the grill. (Disclaimer... if you're someone who is triggered by gross stories about food, etc, skip the rest of this paragraph.)  I remembered all the horror stories she told me about the nasty things she did to people's food whenever she didn't like someone.  I mean... this is a woman who calls herself a professional chef, but will admit to hocking loogies in people's food, rubbing steaks on her ass before serving it to people, etc.  I doubt she would have been able to do any of that out in the open like that, but you never know.  I made sure to not order anything that needs grilled.  I also was hoping no one else with us ordered anything from the grill because I wasn't sure how to handle that situation without it being really awkward.

But I ate, talked, laughed and had a great time.  All while she cooked behind the counter looking completely miserable.  I hope she saw me having a good time and knows she didn't break me. 

I didn't tell anyone until we were about to leave.  When we were in line to pay I leaned over and whispered to my BF that she was back there behind the counter.  He looked at her and said, "Want me to say I got food poisoning?"  He was just joking.  That's his sense of humor. 

All the best relationships I've been in were ones where I fell in love with my SO all over again on a regular basis.  I've only ever had that with two other people before now.  It's not that I was ever out of love with him.  But today I fell in love all over again.  And it happened right in front of someone who almost destroyed me. 

All comments are welcome even though this isn't really a request for advice.  I just wanted to tell a positive story for all the people who are hurting really bad right now.  I see you.  And it will get better. 

[catfeeder]

HoorAy, Cynder!

I so hoped the encounter you feared would turn out to be something like this.

Cheers to you and D!

[Cynder]

On 5/23/2023 at 9:56 PM, catfeeder said:

HoorAy, Cynder!

I so hoped the encounter you feared would turn out to be something like this.

Cheers to you and D!

I think seeing me in there having a good time must have gotten to her a little because she posted some sloppy drunk selfies on Facebook last night. 

I will admit I still look at her Facebook once in a while.  But I do this with all my exes.  It's a curiosity thing more than anything else.  I think most people creep on their exes occasionally, but don't admit it. Her social media used to be really triggering to me, and the fact that we had so many mutual friends made Facebook itself a trigger for me.  I stopped using it for a while except under a dummy account. 

And the pics she posted were set to public, otherwise I wouldn't be able to see them.  Alcohol is going to kill her slowly.  It's sad but it's also not my problem.  I've had multiple family members drink themselves to death.  It's not a pleasant way to go. 

Meanwhile...  D has a baby skunk that was surrendered to him that he is currently bottle feeding.  Seeing a tough looking heavily tattooed man bottle feeding a tiny skunk is the stuff that melts hearts.