Why do you think he still contacts me ?

[Amy 5567]

So I used to talk to this guy a lot long phone convos/FT ….. I never met up with him despite him begging me, due to us getting in arguments and him having to many red flags. Make a long story short he was super into. Anyways still months later he still contacts me?? He recently went on a spam and like all of my old and recent photos on social media within 20 seconds?? He still asks if he can see me ? He recently told me that he misses me. He never misses a social media post or story, and interacts with all of mine. He’s a good looking guy so I’m confused on why he still contacts me if I haven’t met up with him ever??

[Whirling D]

Well, you may want to ask yourself… Why you are still wondering about this guys?

if you argued a lot, and you saw a lot of red flags, wouldn’t that be enough to want to let it go and forget about him, and look for somebody who won’t have those kinds of red flags?

What kind of red flags did he bring up for you?

How old are you guys? How did you meet online?

It seems that you may still have lingering feelings for him, and he for you. That’s certainly OK, but whether you allow him to see you would depend on whether you feel there is any point, given what you are saying about red flags. Only you can make that decision.

Do you feel capable of going out and meeting other guys? If not, that may be a central reason as to why you feel somewhat trapped into thinking about this guy.  I certainly know that feeling, I can tell you… 🙂

[MissCanuck]

He sounds weird. Is this the same man from your last thread? 

Why are you still  allowing him any access to you?

[poorlittlefish]

From your point of view you argued too much and he had too many red flags.  He is still contacting you because he doesn't feel the same way about you and would still like to keep in touch.  You didn't meet him, but you've not actually said you told him not to contact you again either.  If you don't want to meet this guy in person, then don't string him along.  Tell him that you don't think you're compatible, then block him from your phone/social media so you both get on with your lives.

[Wiseman2]

6 hours ago, Amy 5567 said:

 I’m confused on why he still contacts me if I haven’t met up with him ever??

The simple answer is that you refuse to delete and block him from your social media because you crave the attention. It's unclear why you carry on with this social media follower if you're not interested:

 

[Amy 5567]

4 hours ago, Whirling D said:

Well, you may want to ask yourself… Why you are still wondering about this guys?

if you argued a lot, and you saw a lot of red flags, wouldn’t that be enough to want to let it go and forget about him, and look for somebody who won’t have those kinds of red flags?

What kind of red flags did he bring up for you?

How old are you guys? How did you meet online?

It seems that you may still have lingering feelings for him, and he for you. That’s certainly OK, but whether you allow him to see you would depend on whether you feel there is any point, given what you are saying about red flags. Only you can make that decision.

Do you feel capable of going out and meeting other guys? If not, that may be a central reason as to why you feel somewhat trapped into thinking about this guy.  I certainly know that feeling, I can tell you… 🙂

I’ve been dating other men. I have not contacted him, I was just wondering why he still try’s to keep in touch would I have not made a big effort to meet him?

[Wiseman2]

4 minutes ago, Amy 5567 said:

I’ve been dating other men. , I was just wondering why he still try’s to keep in touch 

Because you won't delete and block him despite the fact that you're not interested.

[Sindy_0311]

He might be deeply in love with you even though you never saw each other…

Is that what you think? Because I tell you, guys always reach out if you don’t block them. OMG I have dozen of examples. Usually, they reach out after some month, Often in January, you see them all popping out in your phone. Last January, 4 guys I have ended relationship with last year texted me out of the blue. And guess what, they just wanted booty. 

Your guy doesn’t know you. He surely has dozens of contacts of women on his phone. You are number 5 unless you meet him and he commits to you. 

If really you are not interested in him, block him. otherwise set a meeting and go ahead. 

If you don’t block him, he will reach out to you for the 10 next years. LOL

[Andrina]

Why would an attractive man have all the time in the world to "like" photos of a woman who rejected him? Because he has no life. An attractive decent man would be out dating, and might even have a gf, have a full life of hobbies and a good career to keep him busy.

Let your initial take on him stand as accurate. Block him so you can pour emotional energy and time into more worthy things than wondering about a nobody and taking the time to type about a red-flag man.

[reinventmyself]

Questions like this always make me turn the table and ask why you would care?  

Who knows why he does what he does?   Slow day maybe?

Be very selective about who has access to you. Clearly, if this guy has red flags and you're not interested, cut off his access.  He's a stranger who doesn't respect your boundaries.  Why haven't you blocked him?

[smackie9]

The guy has social issues, and due to that, he is probably lonely/struggles, so he keeps in touch to see if he can wear you down. He doesn't know boundaries, manners or know how to interact with people...that's why there are so many red flags. IMO he's stalking you, and you need to put everything online to a private/friends only setting, and block him.

[HeartGoesOn]

If you truly want to put a stop to this nonsense, you'll find a way, if not you'll find an excuse.

Despite all of the advice you've been given, you continue to turn a blind eye to what you don't want to hear.

Raise the bar...

[Jaunty]

I'm getting the impression that you have an obsession for this guy, who you've never really met.  That's not healthy.  

[Wiseman2]

On 5/19/2023 at 9:09 PM, Amy 5567 said:

He never misses a social media post or story, and interacts with all of mine. 

Do you keep count how many likes or followers you have as a way to feel popular?