on day 3 of NC finding it so difficult

[martyj]

just wanted to write

 

been broke up for 2 weeks and have done the texting, begging and pleading but its over.

 

picked up my keys last Thursday and saw how much i have hurt this person, i am hurt too but we disagree on thisx subject.

 

my friends have all been supportive saying that the fight we had aint so bad it was over the phone and got out of hand too many texts and said some nasty things. i am 32 and she is 22.

 

anyway last contact was we could probably be friends but that she should call me when she is ready as it was me that initiated all the contact.

 

anyway she is going away from August to December to travel and i am scared i have lost her forever.

 

i dont know what i want although ultimately i am in love with her but trying to accept its over.

 

this NC is hard but i am hoping she calls me but i want to heal as much as i want to be with her i realise that we are at different stages.

 

I have scars from previous loves which probably made me insecure.

 

I hope she calls just so i dont feel so bad although i need to accept that we wont get back but i dunno i really miss her and wonder if she misses me as she wouldnt even talk to me when i met her.

 

I saw a good friend of hers on Saturday night at a club who gave me a hug and a kiss so, that made me feel better as i know she likes me.

 

Just venting so i dont send a text or give me as i want to heal so i can be strong when i next see/hear from her.

 

She still has some of my stuff but i cant ask for it but maybe i am putting off for finality reasons

 

just any reply will help me stay strong for myself.

[Mentor]

It sounds like you know what you have to do, and you are taking the steps you need to to move forward with your life. By all means, do not contact her, let her decide when she is ready to talk. Post here instead. Write letters to her saying all that you need to say, but don't send them!

 

Good luck, and keep us updated.

[brando]

yes you are doing the right thing, you have awareness.. that is half the battle in getting intouch with yourself. All you can do now is give it time, and i am not talkng days or weeks, could be longer or sadly not at all.

 

You sound as if you have a grasp on this situation,, go out now have some fun.. date other girls meet new people, try living again.. trust in your heart you did all you could and now it is time to let go and trust that you are making a decision in your best interest, as she is.

 

Their are no guarantees in life.. nothing is forever, but you can learn fom your experiences and take care of those inflicted wounds you received so they will be less of a factor in your next realtionship.

 

Journal, write everything out you are thinking about, it helps to get it all out without calling the ex... it also helps to look back on what you write to learn and the act of writing itself will burn up some of that anxiety to get in touch with the ex.

 

be well,

 

Brando

[heloladies21]

Don't buy that different stages garbage, she dumped you cause she lost interest and that's just an excuse to let you down easy. No Contact no way and do things for you right now.

[martyj]

thanks for your advice guys i listened to it all even the hard to swallow stuff and know its time for me to move on and forget about her as i do believe she isn't letting this affect her as much.

 

So, onwards with the NC and the things of mine she has well she can keep as unless she calls me to sort it out then i need to write them off.

 

I will post here instead of contacting her.