Being confused

[Stephaniee]

Hello everyone,

so I had a crush on a guy at work a while back. But he was giving me mixed signals then said we are friends, he kept repeating it. So I stopped contact with him. Then he went on vacation, shortly after, his mom died. I sent him a condolences message then he asked to call me to talk about it. He explained to me what he was happening to him and his family. Then we stopped talking, at this moment I thought we could be friends since he wasn't interested. Then he came back from vacation, he was acting weird. He started talking to me more, and complimenting me, then after 2 weeks he said he that he had a crush on me since last year.  All this made me feel weird because he never showed me that he liked  me, he was hot and cold, I just feel confused.

Now he started texting me alot and I feel bombarded. I don't have experience in relationships. So could you guys advice me,  I don't know if he is honest or will become hot and cold again.

[catfeeder]

Was his mother ill before her death?

[SooSad33]

55 minutes ago, Stephaniee said:

Then he came back from vacation, he was acting weird. He started talking to me more, and complimenting me, then after 2 weeks he said he that he had a crush on me since last year.  All this made me feel weird because he never showed me that he liked  me, he was hot and cold, I just feel confused.

I suggest you avoid him. Limit yourself.

He is struggling with a lot and is most likely very 'needy' and will take anything he can get. ( what frame of mind would you be in after just losing your mother?)  ...  😞 .

He is a co worker?  May be best to leave it at that - don't make things even more awkward at your workplace.

So, fine, if you want to be a support in ways of a listening ear, but don't allow things to go further.

 

[Stephaniee]

1 hour ago, catfeeder said:

Was his mother ill before her death?

Yes she had cancer 

[catfeeder]

1 hour ago, Stephaniee said:

Yes she had cancer 

So he had pressures during the time before her death that may have preempted him from seeking involvement.

Nobody here can guarantee he will never flake on you, right? You get to decide whether you like him enough to take a risk.

[smackie9]

His mom passed away...now that's over, he can breath again. He's ready to go forward with his life now. Makes sense.... he didn't want to drag you into what was going on in his personal life. 

[Andrina]

He hasn't asked you out. The weekend is coming up. If he doesn't ask you out, and very soon, don't let him use you for his ego boost. Everybody likes a fan. 

Some people don't care that you will be hurt when they are being benefited. It shows a lot about their character if that is happening, and then you'd be wiser to exit filling their emotional needs when you're getting zippo in return.

You know being friends won't work when you have a crush on him. Either he asks you out, or you become pleasant co-workers and no more. That means losing each others numbers so you can bond with someone who actually wants to date you.