Two cats, tension in home, medication, what to do?

[Alex39]

So things are a bit better. I am a little less afraid of Damon. He's been more loving to me at times. 

I do look back, and when we moved here, I had to fix the place up a lot. I ignored Lola and Damon a bit more, because I was so busy with projects here, and I was working. 

And maybe Damon also felt like I put him with this new cat, and then wasn't as close to him as I was before. 

But in the last year, I've been trying harder. I love my animals. They are spoiled and loved. They have a million toys, the best food, tons of treats, and I am very loving and nice to them. I love animals. I an a responsible pet owner. They get regular medical care and I even have pet insurance to cover in cade something we're to happen to them, I could get them the best care. 

But I can't just sit down when I want. She'll be on the couch with me, and he's chasing her, chasing her, trying to bite her neck. I get up, play with him more, trying to distract and tire him. 

Then I give them a nightly wet food treat. I have to get the bowls ready with the food at the counter and mix in his medication. Lola's all happy. If she rubs him or walks near him, he lunges and bites her neck and they tussle. I'm trying to get the food down and I'm looking behind me constantly trying to see if there is fighting. I don't want to get attacked in the tussle and I try to break it up from Lola.  They both get lots of food and treats. They now have three litter boxes. 

I try to play with each of them equally. 

I have noticed Damon being more loving to me and at times like the old Damon I knew. 

I've been trying to give him more attention, so he doesn't feel like the other cat is taking me away. 

Damon is still grabbing my legs and stretching up on them constantly, especially when I'm at the kitchen counters or refrigerator. Its really bothersome to me. He stretches and puts his claws into my legs. Sometimes he's just stretching. Other times he's trying to get to what's in my hands. Other times he rubs his head on me lovingly. Other times he seems frisky and I get afraid. 

[MissCanuck]

Unpopular opinion coming, but I don't think you are in the right headspace to have pets at all, Alex. Not when your anxiety is unmanaged. 

You project the same problems you have with your human friends onto your furry ones. 

[Wiseman2]

7 hours ago, Alex39 said:

. I am a little less afraid of Damon. I can't just sit down when I want. I'm looking behind me constantly trying to see if there is fighting. I don't want to get attacked.  Other times he seems frisky and I get afraid. 

Unfortunately you seem afraid of your pets.  You seem to be trying but at the same time living in terror.

[Batya33]

9 hours ago, Alex39 said:

But I can't just sit down when I want. She'll be on the couch with me, and he's chasing her, chasing her, trying to bite her neck. I get up, play with him more, trying to distract and tire him. 

Sounds like parenting a young child lol - didn't get to sit down much either - but my job as a responsible parent was the goal of being able to "sit down" because my child was playing independently and/or cooperating with a bath/dinner/bed routine or respecting boundaries related to daily life/treating people reasonably. I was a cat owner -I get that cats aren't humans and we didn't really have to discipline our cat other than maybe some redirection/distraction?? I don't recall.  I'

m sure there's an analogy so that this situation you describe is not appropriate for anyone and I agree since he is so in your face he may be feeding off your anxiety.

Just an anecdote! Our cousin has always had multiple cats.  Like 3-5 at a time in an apartment, now a house. When she married her husband had to sign on to that sort of family and he did! Her apartments never smelled of "cat"  and she is a true Fur Mom.  For decades.  She does "discipline" if disciplining is talking to her cats and saying "no" but she's chill. 

And they're all different personalities but when I see her with them -often on facetime but in person over the years -it's - fun but structured if that makes sense.  They're happy and healthy and she talks to them like humans and seems to intuit and "know" what they need and what's going on.

She's just a Fur Mom -no training at all.  I mean it might be unusual that it's smooth and also fun but she's had many different cats (I know some have passed away over the years as happens unfortunately) and never had these sorts of issues. She lived alone with them for at least 10 years that I knew her.

[boltnrun]

12 hours ago, Alex39 said:

I get afraid. 

He can sense this 

Animals have much more finely tuned sensory abilities than humans. If you're skittish and fearful toward him or you react with apprehension when he comes near you he will know it and act accordingly. NOT like a human would but like the animal he is.

I mean, you're human but how would it make you feel if you approached someone you care about and they reacted with fear and apprehension?

Maybe you do need to re-home him. Let someone who isn't reacting with fear when he approaches provide a home for him. Look for a foster home or no kill shelter. 

[smackie9]

On 3/19/2023 at 9:22 AM, Seraphim said:

Do they have space to get up high? Some cats like to be high and some are floor dwellers. They need their own territory. 
 

You can also try this. It is also recommended by my vet for multiple cat household. My vet is a registered fear free vet. 
 

It is on Amazon.

You can get Multi-cat Feliway from your vet or pet store. They can actually last up to 2 months. Don't buy off amazon. It's only costs 26 bucks at the store. I have a high anxiety kitty and this stuff is a life saver. 

[Seraphim]

23 minutes ago, smackie9 said:

You can get Multi-cat Feliway from your vet or pet store. They can actually last up to 2 months. Don't buy off amazon. It's only costs 26 bucks at the store. I have a high anxiety kitty and this stuff is a life saver. 

I used to get from my vet as well.