Mixed Signals from a co-worker

[Durden9312]

So there’s this girl I work with (indirectly) who:

-Always smiles and waves at me
-Holds eye contact until I break it (long eye contact)
A couple days ago she approached me to to have a conversation and and if I had gone on my break yet as she was heading on hers. 

Today I had planned on asking her out but it is difficult because she is always rushing for her bus (I know this is true). So I asked her when she has her break and although she answered, she was avoiding eye contact and didn’t seem as she normally is. I have also noticed that while she always tries to keep our conversations going, she doesn’t really ask me personal questions. Am I reading too much into things or is she just really friendly?

[Wiseman2]

9 minutes ago, Durden9312 said:

 I asked her when she has her break 

Keep going on breaks until you feel more comfortable before asking her out. 

[Durden9312]

I am comfortable asking her out, it just seems her demeanour changed significantly. Maybe she was annoyed I was trying to talk to her when she was in a hurry? I don’t know it was just a big change in behaviour.

[Kwothe28]

Do you know anything about her? Does she has somebody? Does she drinks coffee or tea? What sports club she supports? 

Not trying to discourage you as you can ask her for a date and found out later, but telling you that for all intentive purposes, she is a stranger. Its futile to decipher signals from a total stranger as you are working together and kinda have to spend a time there, and not met, I dunno, at the bar and approached each other. Maybe you should try to get to know her a bit.

[Durden9312]

I try, thing is she is only in office twice a week. It is also hard to time our breaks as I need to be covered

[Andrina]

3 hours ago, Durden9312 said:

she was avoiding eye contact and didn’t seem as she normally is. I have also noticed that while she always tries to keep our conversations going, she doesn’t really ask me personal questions

Because of this behavior, I wouldn't ask her out just yet. As a woman, I know I'd be acting the opposite of her in this case. Since you do have to see her several times a week, you don't want things to be awkward in your work place. I'd chill with your efforts for now and see what happens.

There was a woman who worked in my building and about 12 different guys thought she was into them, but she was just a friendly woman who liked male attention, but didn't want to date them.

[boltnrun]

It's important to be careful when attempting to date a coworker. A manager at my former workplace was a friendly, smiling, outgoing young woman. She also was very pretty. She would often go into the HR office and chat and joke around with one of the male HR reps. I saw her in all sorts of situations and I knew she was friendly toward everyone, but the HR rep took her behavior to mean she was interested in him. So he asked her for a date. She politely declined and explained she had a boyfriend. The HR rep became angry and accused her of leading him on because she'd acted friendly toward him. But she was like that with everyone. She also never crossed a line beyond friendly and outgoing. But he misinterpreted her behavior and as a result he made things very awkward between them. In fact, he refused to speak to her after that.

I doubt you'd take it that far, but just be careful. Nothing you described seemed to me to indicate her having interest in dating you. But if you do want to ask her out just be aware of the risks. 

[Durden9312]

Thank you everyone for the responses. Given that I have made her an offer, would it be best to just leave it be and see if she approaches? Thanks again.

[smackie9]

16 hours ago, Durden9312 said:

I am comfortable asking her out, it just seems her demeanor changed significantly. Maybe she was annoyed I was trying to talk to her when she was in a hurry? I don’t know it was just a big change in behavior.

Ya because she knows you are going to ask her out...it's making her shy. Sometimes people get anxious. Just be warm and welcoming when you start the conversation. 

[Durden9312]

9 hours ago, smackie9 said:

Ya because she knows you are going to ask her out...it's making her shy. Sometimes people get anxious. Just be warm and welcoming when you start the conversation. 

In hindsight, I asked her this after she told me she was in a bit of a hurry, so I could see why I came across as an ass and not all warm.

[catfeeder]

On 3/16/2023 at 5:59 PM, Durden9312 said:

... it just seems her demeanour changed significantly. Maybe she was annoyed I was trying to talk to her when she was in a hurry? I don’t know it was just a big change in behaviour.

People who fear missing a bus are preoccupied and won't usually come off as encouraging at that moment.

[Wiseman2]

On 3/16/2023 at 5:45 PM, Durden9312 said:

Today I had planned on asking her out but it is difficult 

Too much too soon. You haven't even taken a break together.

Try not to err on the side of just another guy hitting on her. That is undoubtedly the biggest reason for failure. Jumping the gun and "always closing".

Stand out by getting to know her better first. Be patient.

[Superstickyone]

Avoid dating co workers at all costs.  This woman doesn't sound into you anyway. Rushing for the bus means she wants to get far away from you as possible.  Mixed signals mean she doesn't like you. Please move on.