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I am on vacation for 4 weeks, Don't really have anywhere to go except home to NYC. But I have my whole life in this small town I live in....

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I generally have mild depression for which I'm getting treatment. I have been feeling even more depressed and anxious because of thoughts about going back home. I love my mom a lot, but I am sort of distant from my dad. I don't know if I even want to go home. If I do, it'll be for 3 days at most.... I have a gym here, my friends here, and everything. I didn't make many friends in my hometown where I grew up in, which Is where i'm going back to. I made more friends in 6 months than I made in 2-3 years after high school...

In NYC, I won't have my car and Idk it would be harder for me to do things I normally do like work out at the gym, hang with friends, etc. I know i don't have to spend a lot of time at home, but I hate thinking about even traveling back there.... 

Idk, I just don't want to go back home. I think about going though, staying only 2-3 days but that'll cost me $400. I mean i'll do it, but I still feel depressed. 

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1 hour ago, account1122 said:

i told everyone i'm going home. and i feel like everyone will laugh if i don't.... my parents are also expecting me to go back home. 

Do you really believe that 'everyone' cares whether your plans change?

Have a phone call with your Mom and let her know that you're feeling stressed about traveling to NYC, and you feel a need to decompress with a staycation. Would she or both parents be willing to come to your town to visit you, instead, or maybe meet halfway and enjoy a nice hotel for a few days?

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3 hours ago, account1122 said:

I just don't want to go back home. I think about going though, staying only 2-3 days but that'll cost me $400.

How long have you lived away from NYC? When was the last time you visited?   How often do you generally visit?

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I don’t think you should go home. Clearly, you don’t feel good about it, and I think that’s worth listening to. Wait another six months. Maybe by then, you’ll actually miss home and look forward to a visit. It does not matter how anyone else feels about it, it’s your decision and it’s perfectly okay to make it for yourself.

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Maybe skip it this time.  You have to prioritize your mental health and self care.  

If you want to invite your parents to come to you or meet somewhere, that's a good compromise. But only if that's what you want. 

Don't trade one stress for another. It's ok to choose YOU. Stay home. Enjoy your life.  This could be exactly what you need. 

As others have said, people generally only focus on themselves and won't give it a second thought if you change your plans.  Especially if you just own the decision. As in- I just decided it works better for me to change the plan.  

People who don't understand or whatever, well they are not your problem. Put your energy towards the good in your life.... what serves YOU.


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Don't put yourself in an uncomfortable environment.  Have a long, loving,  phone chat with your mother.  I know it's not the same but it's better than being stuck at home for 2 - 3 days with a distant dad which will be very stressful and angst filled. 

If you decide to go, then 2 - 3 days will go by fast. 

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