Alex39 Posted March 7 Share Posted March 7 I have a really close friend. We have grown closer over the years. We even went on a vacation together. She's like a mother figure to me. My mother's age. I'm 30. She's 58 or 59. Her son lives across the country and is getting married. I met him and his fiancee. I didn't find his fiancee to be nice, friendly, or kind at all. My friend says how much she likes her, but I wonder if she's only saying that because her son is marrying her. We were visiting nearby to where the son lives- a few hours away. Her son was so excited to see his mom. He's a super nice guy. He told us how he is going to drive the few hours with his fiancee, spend two days with us, and they'll stay in a hotel near us. They were going to leave around 4 pm for the four hour drive. 4pm Monday, stay Tuesday, leave midday Wednesday. Plan was solid. He even considered coming on his own earlier monday, because she had work. But it seemed the fiancee was insistent on coming. He then told us how the fiancee works nights and sleeps days, so she will be exhausted when they make the drive, working the night before. 11pm to 7am. He told us he'd see us around 8 when they got there. Well 4pm, turned into them leaving around 9pm. Because his fiancee wanted to sleep at home,but didnt go to sleep until 3 or 4. She got out of work at 7am. It was very strange. He wanted to get to us and said she'd sleep in the car. She didn't. So they left at night. They didn't get in until 1am to their hotel. We get up the next morning and her son is messaging her that he wants to see her asap, and he'll be coming around 9am. But fiancee was still sleeping. We make our own plans, so my friend can be with her son, but we don't want to leave her waiting by herself until he comes. 9am, turns to 11am, he says they'll come get her. We wait. 11am turns into 3pm. We wasted the whole day and I could tell my friend was upset, but didn't want to say. She even made comments how she wishes she just went out with us. Because the day was wasted. It was so inconsiderate. The son then says how the fiancee slept until 11am then had to fix herself up, then wanted food so he took her to a brunch spot. I thought this seemed so rude. My friend put aside her whole day and the son was saying he wanted to be there at 9am. He was up and ready. Fiancee wouldn't rush. I got the vibe that 1. his fiancee was not letting him go on this trip alone, as she likes to "monitor" him 2. She didn't care at all that he saw his mom My friend raves how sweet the girl is to her. I didn't see that at all. My friend came back from her half day with them. Said the fiancee was miserable and didn't feel well, so layed in the car while the son and mom did all activities. She clearly didn't want to do activities with my friend. Then we meet up for some food and we notice that the girl eats two bites of food. I'm not exaggerating, two bites. Her son laughed saying how she let's him eat all her food at every restaurant they go to. So he always gets two meals out of it. The girl can't weigh more than 98 pounds. Very bone-y. I'm sitting there like this girl clearly has an eating disorder. The next morning, we all go to breakfast together. She orders the most expensive thing on the menu. Two bites. She ate nothing. We go for afternoon ice cream before they were going to drive back to their place. We all order big three scoop sundaes. She insists on getting one too. She eats two bites and leaves a huge melted sundae on the table. It was so wasteful and rude. My friend paid for her ice cream. She acts very rude and bossy. Saying how she'll choose where they'll live. I didn't find her to be nice at all. I think she only came on the trip, because she heard two young attractive girls were also there. She seemed like she only came to watch over her man. She didn't want to do any of the activities that we did. And I got the vibe she didn't want him spending too much time with his mom either. Fast forward to now. The wedding is coming up. My friend asks me to help her dress shop. She says the fiancee told her it's a fancy wedding with neutral beige and green tones. We settle on finding a long navy dress. We thought that would be pretty for mother of the groom. My friend and I go out all day long and have an amazing time. We laugh, and she finds the perfect navy long dress. It was classy, stylish, and perfect on her. My friend loves the dress. She has me take her picture. She sends it to the fiancee. The fiancee responds almost questioning the dress and how it might not go, then puts how her mother (mother of bride) thinks my friend should wear this.... adds a bunch of pictures of dresses that were shorter dresses made for a 90 year old lady. My friend is 58. I was shocked. I didn't find it nice. I got the vibe that the bride doesn't want her looking nice, and maybe better than her own mother. My heart was broken for my friend. I nicely tried to persuade my friend that the dress does go and how mother of the groom doesn't pose a lot with the bridesmaids. I've been in 6 weddings. My friend then texts the bride how she loves the dress and she won't be posing with the bridesmaids anyway. The bride responds "oh yes, you will be taking pictures with my bridesmaids" I thought that was so weird. In all 6 weddings I've been in, I was a bridesmaid, I never took photos with the parents of the groom. Ever. I'm very very fashionable too and I thought the dress we picked out for my friend was neutral, complimentary, classy, made her look fabulous, and wouldn't outshine anyone. I know style. My friend bought the dress. A week has gone by. And now my friend is messaging me how she thinks she needs a different dress. And she mentions the bride. I can tell the bride has now persuaded her against the dress we bought. I think that is so mean. I don't think this girl is nice. Should I nicely tell my friend that I think the bride doesn't want her looking good in that dress? The bride even insisted my friend be on FaceTime as the bride tries on wedding gowns and watch her cry as she finds the one. I thought it was hugely attention seeking. Her whole family was also there. I just get horrible vibes from this situation and am sad for my friend because I think this girl is heavily manipulating her. I also think she heavily manipulates her son, but he's marrying her, so not my business. I just feel bad for my friend. It was so awkward, every time I gushed and told my friend she looked fabulous in a dress, the bride would say the opposite. It was like nothing we picked out was good enough. We weren't being cheap either. She bought a $200 dress. I just feel so bad for her. If I was the bride, I'd let my future mother in law wear anything she wanted. Unless it was like jeans or something. I'd want her to look and feel amazing. Any thoughts on this situation? Quote Link to comment
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