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New Love Interest

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This is going to be long! Bare with me and thanks for reading...😬😳😱

This past summer a new guy was hired at one of my jobs (I currently work to jobs). I eventually began to like him but because I am typically/naturally shy and our differing work schedules it has become difficult to get to know him better. So clearly the timing here really sucked especially when I began to like the dude a few weeks before my schedule changed. 

My schedule: In the summer I was full-time and then in October I was contingent (I work at least once a month--more depending on if there are any subbing jobs available or if there is a school break). 

We have made small talk over a few months or so. There have been some rare occasions where I even surprised myself by either initiating conversation or keeping it going. There were some funny moments so even though the process of getting to know him has been slow he seems to have a good sense of humor. He hit me off at the pass when I was on my way back to the dinning room from the bathroom and he was marveling at the fact that I was walking faster than him and his legs were longer than mine. But the time where I surprised myself was when I went into dry storage to grab some cereal bowls and he was in there looking for creamer or something. I noticed the flickering light and I guess he felt bad because he was still waiting on the replacement bulbs. I made a joke about how we could have a party in here for Halloween because of our strobe light and he started to beat box. It was kinda funny and he didn't seem so bothered after. I had to prep for breakfast but I thought it was amusing our interaction. 

I didn't see him too much after that due to schedules and the fact that we also work in two different departments. So there are somethings I suppose working against any possibility of things growing 

However, during Christmas break we became a bit more friendly towards each other at least. I worked for a couple weeks during the break and then a couple more in mid-January because the sub jobs were fairly slow. (Which clearly I didn't mind much, lol). The day afternoon Christmas I was in the bigger dinning room (we have 3 in our retirement facility) vacuuming and I saw him power walk by in the corner of my eye but wasn't to sure it was him. Then I was in the usual dining room where I serve prepping for lunch. He makes a point of walking through the main kitchen to the kitchenette to where I was pouring drinks. He walks up to me to say hi and then walks away. That day I seemed to see him a lot after that. There were other assorted incidents. During a fire alarm he walks into the kitchen a couple times and after everything was good he asked everyone if we were okay. I told him yes, aside from my ears hurting and I may have to send the hearing bill to his department. He apologized even though and we shared a high 5. lol! 

Some days after the high 5, there was the typical morning meeting. Afterwards he was heading to the dinning room where I serve. I initially thought well he's probably going to get food because sometimes people do that (he hasn't done that much for one reason or another--maybe a friend leaves him breakfast in the office.) Anyways, he approaches me and asks about he leak. I explained if there is one I haven't seen anything and I do work weekends so I haven't the slightest clue. He couldn't find it initially but later had to come back. The was quite a puddle in the little kitchen. As we and a co-worker were walking back into the main kitchen I made some silly comment about not being opposed to serving meals in a canoe if necessary and he mentioned once about being at cedar point on one of the water rides drinking a beverage. Sometime after that I was sorting silverware and the breakfast was still hanging out in the window and he comes up beside me and asked if there was bacon and I said I wasn't sure. (I was sort surprised that he had approached me when there were some other people around he could ask, but I was trying to not read too much into it--although here I am probably doing just that. 

Another time, I was taking the linen to the laundry room and I have to walk by the department where he works (usually) and I noticed this odd but cool rug which resembled a bowling lane. I wasn't sure he was in the "office" but commented how random the rug was but thought it was cool. He was sitting down and explained that it had been a random donation. I walked a way for a bit to deposit the linen bag and returned. He kinda scrambled to his feet and reached out his hand to shake mine. He asked me what my name was (again). Idk how long we shook hands but the biggest thing that stood out about this (aside from the realization that if that bowling rug wasn't in the hall I probably wouldn't have had a conversation with him 😂😳 was the way he scrambled to his feet like how she's coming back I don't wanna be rude and he also seemed like he didn't want the convo to end. He did ask me if I liked to bowl and I remember saying occasionally or sometimes. We both me mentioned how we liked random things. As we walked away to get back to work I thought well, that wasn't so hard...maybe I'll be able to talk to him more often now. Or so I thought...GEESH! Since that little exchange he has made certain that he at least says hi, even if for whatever reason we don't get a chance to keep the convo going. Another time I was carrying the linen bag through the kitchen and was talking to the prep cook. I notice the string of the bag was hanging down and I made a silly comment about what tripping on it and then I asked her would she laugh or ask if I was okay. She said she'd ask me if I was okay and then laugh. I said I'd probably laugh myself after I turned a few shades of red. Then went on this silly tangent about trips (you know the classic and cliche joke about being told have a nice trip right before you playfully trip. I saw him as he was about to pass the kitchen door and I started thinking of trips I could go on and thought California (nah, at the time they were dealing with mudslides--lol) He must have anticipated me coming out because he overhead the conversation and as I walked by said you could go to Thailand. So we ended up talking about Tailand. During the talk he was fiddling with the ear piece of his walkie talkie trying to get it back in (he might have been on break). as he was heading in the opposite direction I asked him what happened to the rug (this was Tuesday after he had the initial convo) because I was hoping to bring in some paper mache pins and have a ball ready to knock'em down. He said that he had taken it home and I said it's a good thing I didn't have time to make the pins. He asked me if I liked to bowl again and I said sometimes and he mentioned that their was a bowling alley not too far from his place. I told a friend about this and she said that he was trying to see if I was interested in going bowling with him (and I immediately thought, oh crap--)

Since then I have worked a few shifts. Two out of the three he has made sure to say hi to me even if we didn't say much after that. I was talking to a co-worker in the dining room and he had to handle an issue in the corner of the dining room. We were setting up for lunch and he walks over and says hi to me and then walks back to what he was doing. He spent a lot of time in the dining room before my break and made sure I knew (first) about the damp corner and to be careful. After lunch he came back to finish the job (both times he was with a co-worker of his) as I was rounding the corner to put silverware on my tables he nearly walked into me (it hasn't been the first time--I have playfully called him out on it once). 

My most recent shift (about a week ago). I saw him frequently but had difficulty initiating conversation (though I seem to manage I definitely struggle to do so). Right as breakfast service began he was in the kitchen I was reaching for fruit bowls and couldn't get a hi out. I immediately walked back out to the dining room. Then as he was heading back from some work order job I felt like he was staring at me as he walked by. I froze and didn't say anything. Then I was talking to the prep cook (and sometimes I can be silly, just because laughter is necessary during a work day) I was rolling the cart away and we joked about the dancing fruit and how we don't know what's in the food these days, to make the fruit suddenly dance. Another co-worker walks by and she seems a bit upset and I said don't make me be a goof ball to get you to laugh. The prep cook is putting the fruit in the smaller fridge and as all these different things were going on the guy shows up. He then talks to the prep cook too. I go return to sorting silverware and he comes up beside me to say hello but nothing else. And I couldn't come up with even a how are you after I responded. I left my shift that day thinking a few things: 1.) Is he just being friendly and polite? He must be. He appears to be a confident guy, how could he not have anything more to say then a hi. 2.) Oh, crap! Way to waste a perfect opportunity to talk to him, you could have at least asked him how his day was going. 3.) Why is it that most of the time I cannot talk to him (I have to wait for another opportunity to make a random observation?!)--Why am I making this so hard? Just try to get to know the guy. Ask him for his number already so you can hopefully socialize outside of work and get to know him. 4.) Oh, crap does he think I am stuck up or a basket case?

A couple days ago I bought a little card because I remembered seeing him with a NASA hat on and thought this could be a nice gesture. Only problem is I don't know what to write. I figured since we had been doing random acts of kindness, I could do a sort random act of kindness. 

It's frustrating because I can think of a zillion questions.I could ask him but when I see him (most of the time, I freeze). Idk if maybe he's dealing with the same thing?! Not sure. It does seem intriguing that he at least makes a point in saying hi so it appears that he pays attention to when I am there and seems to know when I am not. Maybe the way I answered his bowling question bothered him...idk. I do recall once a couple months ago he got a haircut and he asked me why I was laughing (if it was complimentary or if it was cause he looked funny?!) I said I was laughing at what someone else said.

Can a typically or seemingly confident guy be shy around a girl he likes? If he did like me wouldn't it be MORE obvious? Wouldn't we have exchanged numbers by now? How do I handle my nerves so I can at least talk to him more often? Should I just forget about this because our work schedules are SO different? Part of me has tried to move on already and I have realized that the only possible way to do that (if I have to) is to know for sure if he likes me or not. But how do I find that out if neither of us can seem to get passed the "hi" and how do I know if he's just being friendly and polite? Maybe that is all that he's doing is being friendly and nothing more? I haven't the slightest clue. Crap, I just wrote a novella!



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How do you know he is single ?  Maybe he doesn’t date women who work in the same facility ? Most people who want to date someone choose asking the person out over prioritizing the fear of asking someone out. I originally met my then extremely shy husband at work. Took him months to ask me to lunch. We ran into each other at work event three times in about 8 months. But he got over his extreme shyness and chose the risk of calling me. This is typical IMO. This man knows you are at least interested in a friendly way.

Why not ask him to grab lunch? I did that once with a work crush who heavily flirted with me. He said yes. Turned out he had a girlfriend. Oh well. 

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You're probably going to have to take the risk and make the first move.   Just lunch like suggested above.   You will start to get to know him better, find out if he's single, if you two seem to "spark" and see where it goes from there.

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Thank you, Batya33 and Jaunty. I definitely have to find out if he is single. I am working on the courage to ask him to meet for coffee or something (I do know he likes coffee, lol). How do I keep my nerve to ask him to meet up for coffee when I am typically shy?!

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1 minute ago, inthewind said:

Thank you, Batya33 and Jaunty. I definitely have to find out if he is single. I am working on the courage to ask him to meet for coffee or something (I do know he likes coffee, lol). How do I keep my nerve to ask him to meet up for coffee when I am typically shy?!

"I'm gonna go grab a coffee after work today. Want to tag along?" Don't make it seem like a date, not yet. Then at the coffee shop ask him something like "so what does your girlfriend do for work?"  He'll either tell you or he'll say "what girlfriend??" and maybe laugh a bit. Then you can say "Want to do this again except maybe over lunch?"

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1 hour ago, boltnrun said:

You're welcome. Good luck!

And yes, that is Badtz Maru. I love that you know that!

I definitely need the luck. I haven't asked a dude to hang so this is uncharted territory. Badtz Maru was one of my favorite Sanrio characters. 

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