Ready to live together for many reasons, but..

[JJ Boston]

Hi,

My first post

Hi everyone,

 

Gosh I am already crying about seeing what I can do.

 

I was a young widow at 36 6 years ago.  Almost one year ago, I met my soulmate and the comfort we have together is nothing I have ever known and I am so in love with him that I knew the week we met 

 

My issue is...    My mother (also has 3 children, too) became depressed when my spouse died and it's almost as if she isn't happy that I am in love but I know she is, but depressed and in poor health.   It's up to ME alone to look after her and she is not happy about sleeping in the house alone when I do stay at my boyfriend's so I am not resentful, but I guess... I am.   (Ex... Had a test that confirmed I can't have children and even though we never were going to try, knowing it's off the table breaks my heart.   I wanted to be held and my mom said you're not leaving are you?  

 

So I told her months ago that in may we would be moving in and I know I didn't mishear this but he said he said we'd discuss it in May which I'd love to go back in time but ild bet my lifes savings/possessions I didn't mishear.  

 

Anyways.  My half sister does have a friend who would love to live in the (in law) apartment downstairs from my mom and pay $800 more than I can per month but I can't just say I'm moving in 2 weeks 

 

So it's like I am pushing it when I am simply stressing I need a date not a date to begin talking about it (when HE MENTIONED that we'd be getting storage unit and a new door bc I have a cat, how is this not already talking about it .

 

He is older and had a VERY trauma childhood and a wife (divorced 15-30 years ago ) who was a mean, rude and horrible wife that belittled him, cheated etc.   We are so perfect together and I really don't care if we dont get married bc I love him that much, though I'd say yes.

 

The not knowing for my mom and for me I feel isn't fair and I don't know what else I can do but break up (not to give an ultimatum) but to save one day where I am so in love knowing that he may never go through with it.

 

Still crying everyone.   He is as in love and know this and I won't share what happened to make his early years far worse than if I guess 95% of most.

 

 

 

Ideas?  Should I break up and move out of state for a few weeks with family so I am not tempted to try again?   

 

This man is my other half and 22 years older and willing to recognize that I will likely be one a widow and go through that heartbreak again but it didn't matter.

 

 

 

Please give me any ideas, stories, ask questions.   I don't want to lose him and I'd do anything to not but I have to put my mom #1.

 

FYi he is a wonderful man and not doing this to lead me on or hurt me, so please don't say this.   

 

 

 

I appreciate all feedback.

 

 

 

JJ

[boltnrun]

I don't understand. You plan to tell your mom you're moving in with this man in two weeks but you're not even sure if he wants you to move in? And what's happening in May?

Can you please clarify?

[Betterwithout]

With all due respect,  your post is all over the place and hard to understand.
I know for me, I find it difficult to write when I am upset/crying, so maybe collect your thoughts some more and try to write another post?

We're happy to help, but we'll need some clarity on your situation.

Thanks