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My first post

Hi everyone,


Gosh I am already crying about seeing what I can do.


I was a young widow at 36 6 years ago.  Almost one year ago, I met my soulmate and the comfort we have together is nothing I have ever known and I am so in love with him that I knew the week we met 


My issue is...    My mother (also has 3 children, too) became depressed when my spouse died and it's almost as if she isn't happy that I am in love but I know she is, but depressed and in poor health.   It's up to ME alone to look after her and she is not happy about sleeping in the house alone when I do stay at my boyfriend's so I am not resentful, but I guess... I am.   (Ex... Had a test that confirmed I can't have children and even though we never were going to try, knowing it's off the table breaks my heart.   I wanted to be held and my mom said you're not leaving are you?  


So I told her months ago that in may we would be moving in and I know I didn't mishear this but he said he said we'd discuss it in May which I'd love to go back in time but ild bet my lifes savings/possessions I didn't mishear.  


Anyways.  My half sister does have a friend who would love to live in the (in law) apartment downstairs from my mom and pay $800 more than I can per month but I can't just say I'm moving in 2 weeks 


So it's like I am pushing it when I am simply stressing I need a date not a date to begin talking about it (when HE MENTIONED that we'd be getting storage unit and a new door bc I have a cat, how is this not already talking about it .


He is older and had a VERY trauma childhood and a wife (divorced 15-30 years ago ) who was a mean, rude and horrible wife that belittled him, cheated etc.   We are so perfect together and I really don't care if we dont get married bc I love him that much, though I'd say yes.


The not knowing for my mom and for me I feel isn't fair and I don't know what else I can do but break up (not to give an ultimatum) but to save one day where I am so in love knowing that he may never go through with it.


Still crying everyone.   He is as in love and know this and I won't share what happened to make his early years far worse than if I guess 95% of most.




Ideas?  Should I break up and move out of state for a few weeks with family so I am not tempted to try again?   


This man is my other half and 22 years older and willing to recognize that I will likely be one a widow and go through that heartbreak again but it didn't matter.




Please give me any ideas, stories, ask questions.   I don't want to lose him and I'd do anything to not but I have to put my mom #1.


FYi he is a wonderful man and not doing this to lead me on or hurt me, so please don't say this.   




I appreciate all feedback.





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With all due respect,  your post is all over the place and hard to understand.
I know for me, I find it difficult to write when I am upset/crying, so maybe collect your thoughts some more and try to write another post?

We're happy to help, but we'll need some clarity on your situation.


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