What does "See where it goes" mean?

[RandomUsername824]

When I ask women online what they are looking for, 95% reply with "To see where things go" or something similar. What does this mean exactly? I still have no idea what they are looking for.

[MissCanuck]

They aren't sure if they would want friendship or more with any given guy. 

 

[Kwothe28]

"Lets see where it goes" is the usual floscule they would tell people or get served by other men. It usually means they want casual dating. I discovered that people who really want a relationship, would usually tell you that. That they want it to go somewhere, that they have a specific goal in mind when it comes to dating etc. People who want to "cruise", date other people, act like they are in a candy shop, would usully tell you floscules like they tell you. "OMG, lets just see how it goes" and stuff like that. Because they would have few of men like you lined up there so its easier not to make any commitment. 

[Wiseman2]

6 hours ago, RandomUsername824 said:

When I ask women online what they are looking for, 95% reply with "To see where things go" 

It means you're asking someone you've never met a question about a future that can't be determined yet.  Avoid this pre-meeting banter and simply set up a meeting in a timely fashion. Someone who's never met you can't form an opinion about where things are or who you are. The question is moot anyway because whatever they say doesn't necessarily apply to you.

[Batya33]

If it's in a profile then I wouldn't meet the person unless in another place in the profile the person specifically says they are looking for a serious relationship. If so then "see where it goes" might in context be a throw away line to be easy/breezy "let's meet and see where it goes!"

But in person if you've gone out a couple of times and that's the response most often with exceptions depending on context it means the person doesn't want to think ahead -just go out on dates while it's interesting/fun/enjoyable to do so and hasn't really considered -either generally or with you -what they're looking to get out of going on dates.

[Wiseman2]

8 hours ago, RandomUsername824 said:

When I ask women online what they are looking for.

Stop asking this. You're trying to read between the lines, but the question is flawed. When you put a spin on it such as "it means casual" you're putting yourself at a disadvantage. It means they have never met you and therefore can't map out a plan with you.

[Batya33]

I didn't ask online strangers what they meant because I only interacted with men who stated they were looking for a serious  relationship leading to marriage.  There was one person who didn't indicate marriage.  He begged me to meet him -wanted to take me to a really expensive restaurant (which I didn't want -I liked to meet for a quick first meet not a whole meal, etc).  He changed his profile to looking for marriage.  Changed it back a few days later and claimed it was a "mistake." I cancelled the first meet.

People who are looking for serious relationships are clear about that particularly because it requires very few words and words most people understand.  And they typically don't want to waste time dating people who are looking to meet lots of people, do fun activities and if the mood strikes them maybe they'll get serious, maybe not, maybe it won't happen for years.

Just like people who are looking for a friend, casual dating partner, or a sexual arrangement are clear too.  I can see someone writing "I am looking for a serious relationship so I look forward to meeting people and we'll see where it goes!"  

I also didn't meet people who said "I'd be open to marriage with the right person."  I mean duh - with rare exception people are closed off to marriage unless it's the right person -so that tells me they're not looking to get married in general.  I personally only dated men who were looking for marriage in general then of course would only marry the right person for them.

[Cherylyn]

It's a safe, cautious answer.  It's a "wait and see" answer.  In other words, she's testing you out to determine over time whether you're a keeper or a reject. 

[greendots]

17 hours ago, RandomUsername824 said:

When I ask women online what they are looking for, 95% reply with "To see where things go" or something similar. What does this mean exactly? I still have no idea what they are looking for.

In my experience, "see where things go" is a nice way to tell you that they aren't after anything serious unless they are really blow away by you.

Having said that, when you've never ever met that person before I'd just go with the flow and actually "see where things go".

[lostandhurt]

It all depends on the context.

Is this the very first message you sent them? 

Why are you asking this specific question?   If it doesn't specify on their profile I could understand asking but it would be much later in the conversation or on the first meet.

Many people list or say things like casual but what they really mean is they want to date and meet people and if lighting strikes then they are open to a relationship.

All dating is See Where It Goes anyways

Send a message, see where it goes.

Talk on the phone, see where it goes.

Meet for coffee, see where it goes.

Have dinner, see where it goes.

Lost

[Batya33]

10 hours ago, lostandhurt said:

ll dating is See Where It Goes anyways

Send a message, see where it goes.

Talk on the phone, see where it goes.

Meet for coffee, see where it goes.

Have dinner, see where it goes.

For me if someone goes out of their way to say this in a certain context it tells me we're not on the same page.  Like if someone wanted me to invest a significant amount of time into a project and I said "yes I'm willing to come/be trained/go to this meeting but only if the plan is ____" and the response is well you know let's see where it goes -I'm much less likely to spend my time and commit my schedule to this. 

All of these goals have an element of risk/seeing where it goes- could go a different direction  - but "see where it goes" made as a point in the planning process tells me that person is signaling that they're not as invested in the goal. 

Just like someone who makes a point of saying "friends first" -well, duh, most people who are on a dating site and say they want a relationship are likely not to get physically intimate/sexual right away -but when someone said "friends first" I most often declined -the emphasis on this obvious told me the person and I had very different mindsets about dating and relationships. 

Yes often these are typed words and since I had hundreds of single men to choose from on dating sites I wanted to be careful not to waste my time messaging with people with potential dealbreakers (or meeting them).

[smackie9]

see where it goes=you are an option. 

[Tiddytok5]

To see where things are headed with a person.

 

It means what it implies.

 

They want to let things flow organically and naturally..to see where it goes

[Betterwithout]

What are YOU looking for?  Are you fearing rejection that their answer isn't aligned with yours?
I'd bet 95% of these women are sensing "neediness" regardless of your intentions and the messaging stops dead after that.

I think you need to work on your opening banter