Worth talking to her or just move on

[NeedHelpBruhhh]

Met this 18f and we’ve been talking for a month and went on a couple dates. She just got back from a 2 week vacation which was with a religious group and she's currently super sick but she agreed to a third date when she’s better.

Anyways while on vacation she put a picture on her Instagram story of her kissing some guy in her religious group on the cheek. I didn’t think anything of it but now she’s back from vacation I’ve been talking to her more.

Before she left she was telling me how she’s going to go to college like 30 minutes away and now that she’s back she’s talking about going to college far away, coincidentally the same one the guy goes to or other ones far away like 8-10 hours.

Is it worth talking to her considering she’ll either possibly be ***ing that guy while she’s gone or the fact she’ll be gone half the year?

[Wiseman2]

8 minutes ago, NeedHelpBruhhh said:

Is it worth talking to her considering she’ll either possibly be ***ing that guy while she’s gone or the fact she’ll be gone half the year?

There doesn't seem to be too much potential for anything here if she's leaving for school. Try to refocus your energy on women who will be around.

[NeedHelpBruhhh]

2 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

There doesn't seem to be too much potential for anything here if she's leaving for school. Try to refocus your energy on women who will be around.

Ok thanks, it's just weird because before leaving she was saying she was enrolling in a college only 30 minutes away but now that she returned she changed her mind

[Kwothe28]

35 minutes ago, NeedHelpBruhhh said:

she's currently super sick but she agreed to a third date when she’s better.

Whats "super sick"? Does she has "super spreader" desease? 😁

Anyway, I dont think you will get another date there bro. Especially when she is interested in somebody else.

[NeedHelpBruhhh]

1 minute ago, Kwothe28 said:

Whats "super sick"? Does she has "super spreader" desease? 😁

Anyway, I dont think you will get another date there bro. Especially when she is interested in somebody else.

Fair enough thank you but the guy she kissed on instagram lives and goes to college in wisconsin and that's the college she suddenly told me she was interested in. Guess I will move on doesn't seem much hope in this one 

[Batya33]

16 minutes ago, NeedHelpBruhhh said:

Fair enough thank you but the guy she kissed on instagram lives and goes to college in wisconsin and that's the college she suddenly told me she was interested in. Guess I will move on doesn't seem much hope in this one 

I agree - and how old are you?

[NeedHelpBruhhh]

1 minute ago, Batya33 said:

I agree - and how old are you?

i just turned 21

[Batya33]

1 minute ago, NeedHelpBruhhh said:

i just turned 21

Oh ok -yes -she is at a different stage -not really because of the age difference -so let her go off to college and who knows in the future she might contact you!  I dated older guys when I was in college but never long distance other than maybe one year with my high school sweetheart - I commuted to college from my home.

[NeedHelpBruhhh]

37 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

Oh ok -yes -she is at a different stage -not really because of the age difference -so let her go off to college and who knows in the future she might contact you!  I dated older guys when I was in college but never long distance other than maybe one year with my high school sweetheart - I commuted to college from my home.

So like do you think I should just stop talking to her or still talk to her 

[Batya33]

8 minutes ago, NeedHelpBruhhh said:

So like do you think I should just stop talking to her or still talk to her 

As I wrote move on - talking is with the motive of you wanting to  date her.  She's not available todate you right now.

[NeedHelpBruhhh]

25 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

As I wrote move on - talking is with the motive of you wanting to  date her.  She's not available todate you right now.

Ok thanks, she messaged me a couple hours ago but I never responded as I was waiting for what to do 

[Batya33]

2 minutes ago, NeedHelpBruhhh said:

Ok thanks, she messaged me a couple hours ago but I never responded as I was waiting for what to do 

I'd respond that you hope she feels better, that you've thought about it and you don't think you two have enough in common to continue dating especially since she likely is going to attend a college far away and that you wish her well.

[Cherylyn]

No, don't pursue her.  She's moving faraway which is too impractical for both of you.  LDRs (long distance relationships) tend to have a high failure rate for a reason.  Absence doesn't make the heart grow fonder.  To the contrary,  too much absence causes two people to drift apart permanently. 

[NeedHelpBruhhh]

2 minutes ago, Cherylyn said:

No, don't pursue her.  She's moving faraway which is too impractical for both of you.  LDRs (long distance relationships) tend to have a high failure rate for a reason.  Absence doesn't make the heart grow fonder.  To the contrary,  too much absence causes two people to drift apart permanently. 

Thank you, it just really sucks because when she’s not in college she’s lives 10 minutes away. But I still don’t think it’s worth it to only see her half the year

[Cherylyn]

8 minutes ago, NeedHelpBruhhh said:

Thank you, it just really sucks because when she’s not in college she’s lives 10 minutes away. But I still don’t think it’s worth it to only see her half the year

You'll most likely only see her less than half a year if that.  It's better to remain realistic. 

[Batya33]

15 minutes ago, NeedHelpBruhhh said:

Thank you, it just really sucks because when she’s not in college she’s lives 10 minutes away. But I still don’t think it’s worth it to only see her half the year

My parents were long distance for 4 years when my dad went away for grad school but they'd been dating for years and were engaged -they married in their early 20s.  They saw each other maybe once a month.  It can work when there's already a serious and established LTR -my husband and I were long distance for a few years as well.  You've only been out with her a few times followed by her 2 week trip where it looks like she already met someone else.  It's not worth it to stay in touch -college will be a whole new world for her and I doubt she'll want to date local people for the periods of time she's home. I'm sorry.  

[NeedHelpBruhhh]

8 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

My parents were long distance for 4 years when my dad went away for grad school but they'd been dating for years and were engaged -they married in their early 20s.  They saw each other maybe once a month.  It can work when there's already a serious and established LTR -my husband and I were long distance for a few years as well.  You've only been out with her a few times followed by her 2 week trip where it looks like she already met someone else.  It's not worth it to stay in touch -college will be a whole new world for her and I doubt she'll want to date local people for the periods of time she's home. I'm sorry.  

Thank you for the advice