notagain1000000 Posted January 12 Share Posted January 12 Long story short, my partner of 26 years cheated on me several times around 10 years ago. We split up (she blew me out for one of these blokes), then said she made a mistake and we got back together after 3-4 months apart. Since then, she has made very little effort and continued to work with, and be friendly with this bloke. She knew it bothered me but said that she felt bad and 'owed it to him'. Nothing about owing me anything!!! Things have been on her terms ever since, there is very little sexual contact between us, I've given up trying to instigate anything as I got tired of continually being knocked back. I've explained this to her many times, she knows how I feel but doesn't do anything to change it, insisting that 'we don't have the opportunity', which is partially true as I work a lot and our kids are always around from morning to night. I wouldn't change that for anything (the kids being around all the time) but I'm still left feeling short changed as she found sufficient time with the other blokes!! Anyhow, the latest 'issue' is that she is very close to her manager, buying him Christmas gifts, making him cakes etc and I'm left feeling extremely uncomfortable. My Spider senses are tingling, my instincts are all saying one thing (not good) but, whilst again, she knows it bothers me, she continues to do it and has no intention of changing. I know that I have no right to get her to change (she is who she is and I can't control her) but at the same time, in the light of what she has done in the past, it does seem very wrong that she doesn't take my feelings/views into the equation at all. I find it hard to 'big myself up' but I'm going to be honest here and I really hope it doesn't sound arrogant but I've got a good job, I'm told I look OK and I can make people feel at ease and make them laugh easily. I will do anything for my kids and am always trying to arrange fun things for them or to take them on adventures and she never wants to take part or come with us and never arranges anything of her own for them. Life is certainly not about financials but in the interest of setting the picture out completely, she has a minimum wage part time job, is averagely overweight and makes no effort as far as lipstick, nails or clothes go. WHY do I feel utterly worthless? I feel like I will never be good enough for anyone, the harder I try, the less she seems to appreciate what I do. WHY am I the one on here asking for advice when she appears, on the surface, to genuinely not give a ***. WHY am I thinking about her cheating and yet, she has given me many excuses to cheat myself with her behaviour and lack of effort and yet, not only would I not as having been on the receiving end I know what it feels like and would never do that to another person, but she doesn't appear to give the slightest toss or even consider that I might have an affair or leave her? Really confused here! Quote Link to comment
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.