Clarity before finalizing Divorce

[Ana]

Im looking for clarity before finalizing my divorce. I married a middle eastern man 5 yrs ago. Together for 9 yrs and about two years in the marriage I causally brought up that maybe we should get a divorce. He sounded so enthusiastic when I said that. Fast forward 5 years in he would not agree to have a second child. My resentment grew and when I finally started to unravel he said he didn’t know I was serious even thought I mention the topic constantly for two years straight. This last year things got even worse and during the summer we filed for seperarion. I’m the early days I was confused and hopeful that this was just a trial period and one day I called him and told him my son and I were lonley and my family was abroad on a trip. He came after work for 20 minutes and left again. I asked him where he’s going and he said it’s non of your business. I was alone with my child for 3 days straight. I moved in with my parents when they got back and he makes coparenting difficult. I’ve been left in the dark and I’m assuming he’s preparing for wife #2  
 

 

[Wiseman2]

7 minutes ago, Ana said:

. This last year things got even worse and during the summer we filed for seperarion. 

Sorry this is happening. You made the right choice. Hopefully you have a good attorney to guide you through the practicalities, financials, custody/visitation and child support issues.

A therapist may be able to help you unpack and sort out some of the issues in this transition from an emotional standpoint.

Also it's good your family is around and keep seeking support from trusted friends and family.

[Batya33]

I think you wanted a divorce although there also were benefits to staying married.  It’s not clear cut but I think you made the right choice. I agree seeking therapy could help with clarity and perspective.  Good luck. 

[Andrina]

Who is more financially well off? You or your husband? Do you own a house together? Do you have shared credit cards and bank accounts? Make sure you're protecting your assets.

[catfeeder]

For clarity, if you won the lottery tomorrow, would you keep him or dump him?

[justplainme]

i had something similar with my ex wife we discussed getting divorced a few times and i just could not go ahead due to having children and we stayed together for 20 years but when they grew up we became more of friends than lovers/partners and i knew that we had to separate and file for divorce it was the hardest thing i have ever done and i do still miss her sometimes when i feel low but its also one of the best things i have done because i can be me and free