Did I blow the second date?

[NeedHelpBruhhh]

21m so pissed at myself right now. Met this 18F through snapchat and it seems she took an interest in me early on as she literally asked me to hang out first before I could ask her.

We talked for 2 weeks but ended up meeting and going out to dinner 2 days ago and it went pretty good. She text me after saying she had a great time and since we're both into fitness she was saying how we should hit the gym together sometime and that's what ended up happening tonight, we had a "gym date" together.

It was great up until the last 2 minutes. So I have this weird thing I do in my head where right before I go to see someone I'm getting to know, my mind starts planning a bunch of things to talk to them about but then when I go and see them I end up forgetting to talk about most of it and I'm always pissed at myself afterwards. I don't go quiet or anything its just I talk about literally everything else except what I wanted to talk to them about.

Anyways today was the last day before she leaves to go on a 2 week vacation tomorrow afternoon, I asked her if she wanted to go to chipotle as we were leaving the gym and she said no since she was tired and wanted to get some sleep before she left which is no problem. But since we were working out we weren't having full blown conversations so I had some stuff I wanted to talk to her about as we were wrapping up and leaving but my brain went blank.

Here's where I was really pissed. As we were leaving we had this really good hug where we looked into each other's eyes, definitely could have kissed but I just didn't and I wished her a fun trip and as we were walking back to our cars she says "ill see you in 2 weeks" and my *** just didn't say anything. The second I got into the car I felt like such a ***ing idiot.

I don't want her to think I was mad cause she didn't want to go to chipotle. I ended up texting her after saying sorry if I was quiet at the end I was just beat up from the workout and she said no worries and she was tired as well. I said we should hit the gym when she gets back from vacation and she said for sure and to just give her a day or 2 to recover from the time change.

So did I blow it or am I just overthinking? And it's not really nerves messing with me because I have dating experience and have kissed before, it's just my brain goes blank (this is something that happens literally when I go to my barber and im obviously not afraid of him) and I'm really mad at myself as I really like spending time with her and want her to know that.

[Wiseman2]

2 hours ago, NeedHelpBruhhh said:

  I'm really mad at myself as I really like spending time with her and want her to know that.

You're overanalyzing, yes. Take a deep breath and relax. The date went well. She seems to like you so slow down and catch up when she's back. Try not rehearsing conversations. Be a good listener and stay in the moment.

[LotusBlack]

It’s really hard to see this from your perspective, but from the other side of things and with many of us ENAers being in our late 20s, 30s, and onward - it really is not a huge issue at all that you didn’t say everything on your mind all in the first few dates. Savour the moments and stay present.

Slow down, take a breath, relax, and don’t overanalyse yourself into knots. Things went totally fine. And if you ever feel like you left someone unsure as to your intentions or how you felt, you simply follow up with a positive but short message saying you had a great time and look forward to seeing them again soon. Don’t throw yourself under the bus by apologising for non-issues that the other person probably hadn’t even considered until you outed yourself. Only do that if you really actually messed up. This was not one of those times. 

Now, leave things marinate and let her enjoy her trip and respond when she reaches out.

[Kwothe28]

5 hours ago, NeedHelpBruhhh said:

So I have this weird thing I do in my head where right before I go to see someone I'm getting to know, my mind starts planning a bunch of things to talk to them about but then when I go and see them I end up forgetting to talk about most of it and I'm always pissed at myself afterwards. I don't go quiet or anything its just I talk about literally everything else except what I wanted to talk to them about.

That is what I do as well as sometimes. I think you will discover it really doesnt matter if the conversation is flowing. 

5 hours ago, NeedHelpBruhhh said:

So did I blow it or am I just overthinking?

Nah, you did OK. Just wait until she gets back and do gym or some other date again.

[DarkCh0c0]

You did well. Don't be harsh on yourself! Nobody is an expert in social conversations, let alone dating conversations in your early 20s.

Keep in touch as usual and look forward to the next date! 

[jul-els]

You’re overthinking it. She said to give her a couple of days to recover and then call her. Do it.