A vent, a long one

[Magnum1313]

Well I really doubt anybody remembers my story because of how short and long ago it was, so I'll just go over it again in a little more detail:

 

I met a girl online. Well, more correctly, an ex-friend of mine met her online, they dated on and off for about 8-9 months (LDR made it difficult), and this girl and I became terriffic friends through it, though we only hung out in person twice. For some reason she seemed different, special, so much so that I would side with her on almost any issue, regardless of the concequences (the reason why the guy I mentioned earlier is an ex-friend). I comforted her when he or anyone else wasn't there for her, listened to her, I was an all-around good friend, partially because I was attracted to her (she's hot as hell!) but partially because, as I said earlier, something felt different about her. She was the same way for me, she was there for me when nobody else was, listened to me, was an all around good friend back to me.

We stayed friends throughout this whole time, about 11 months now, while relationships were constantly shifting around us, friends becoming enemies, enemies friends, relationships breaking up and new ones forming. But because our friendship was LDR (more like MDR, since she lives about 40 minutes away), we communicated mainly through IM. I called her occasionally, but she couldn't call me because her parents won't let her call long distance. Things stayed like this for a while, until February, I believe.

To make a long story shorter, she got tired of being around the guy she was with (my ex-friend), and tried finding ways of telling him without actually saying it to him. One way she tried, on top of not calling him when she said she would, was to have a friend of hers who lives several states away say they were dating so he would get the hint. He didn't really get the hint as much as went off the deep end. I was talking to him (the ex-friend, now referred to as B) as it all unfolded. He went very quickly from denial to panic to anger to sheer, uncontrollable rage, saying he was just going to go to her house and blow her head off, not caring that he would spend the rest of his life in prison. He still loved her but, as you can see, he doesn't make a lot of sense and doesn't think things through. Anyways, I spent, starting at midnight that night, two and a half hours trying to convince B not to do it. He downgraded from that point to saying he was putting a hit out on her head (he thinks his "homies" are super loyal and would do anything for him), and that he'd put one out on me if I didn't stay out of it. By then I had given up, since nothing would change his mind, and went to bed.

Turns out he did nothing about it, and they were together for roughly a week before she ended it permanently (she was essentially blackmailed into it, B saying that if it ended he'd make her life a living hell, make her wish she had never been born). Needless to say that we are now not friends because of that, and this: in that time they had sex for the one and only time, and the idiot decided to not use a condom. Of course she got pregnant, but luckily because she's so young (she's 15, B is 19...) her body couldn't handle it and she lost the baby naturally after about 2 weeks. It was after helping her through this that I realized how much I cared about her - more than just about anybody I know. You people might think I'm crazy to want to be with a girl who got pregnant at 15, and as far as I know she wasn't a virgin then, but none of you know her like I do, another reason why she's so different from other girls. If it was anybody else I'd forget about her and move on but I can't do it. She's one of my best friends, and will hopefully become more than that and just put all of this behind us.

Fast-forward a couple of months to present-day. Her parents found out through the cops (dunno how they found out, but they had to ask parental permission to press charges of statutory rape), and she's grounded until further notice. B has gone to court several times, and almost got locked up because not only the statutory but I guess he started stalking her afterwards. We're just waiting for him to leave for marine boot camp so he'll be out of our lives. He keeps making threats (obviously out of jealousy) that he's trying to protect me by keeping me away from her, because I guess I'll just go to jail if I go out with her, too, and the fact that she would have nothing against me (I'm smart enough to WAIT until we're both good and ready and she's of legal age) means nothing to him, because he has convinced himself that he has done nothing wrong and thereforeeee jumped to the conclusion that the courts always go against men.

Back to his threats, though, these have kind of worried me. His last one was that if he had to he would put an end to all of this, somehow permanently cutting off communications between her and I. He made the threat shortly after the last time I talked to her online, and it's been two weeks since I've heard from her. Yeah, she's grounded, and finals for school are coming up, but still it's easy to get worried about something like that. I'm also worried about two things: that she'll find another guy or that when we finally get together in person she'll find I'm much better online than in person and not want to be more than just friends. She's really sending me mixed signals. Our relationship has evolved such that at the end of IM conversations she'll call me something like sweetie or hun, and now in emails she puts things like love always xoxo, but in our last IM conversation I couldn't take it any more and told her how much she meant to me and how much I cared about her, and all she could say was that we'd have to hang out in person more for her to know how she really felt. Though I don't want to, I have to agree with her, because I had a bad experience with a girl saying she loved me through IM, then us meeting in person, me hardcore freezing up, and her soon after finding another guy, and at this time we haven't talked in about 5 months. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if that ever happened between myself and the girl I currently like.

So her and I have planned on hanging out after the school year ends. That's in 5 more days for me, and around the same for her. We were talking, two weeks ago, about how she could get around the grounding. She was sure her parents would let up a little now that summer was around, but I'm not so sure, considering what she did. If all else failed I would just have to talk to her parents in person and get permission to be around her. I'm honestly a good person, and would never EVER be able to bring myself to do something as terrible as what B did, and if I did I'd have the knowledge that I'd have to deal with several hundred people not only back home but around the country who would tear me to shreds if they found out (a friend and I came up with a list of people who would come to our side if B did anything else, and it is literally in the hundreds). Anyways, there are problems on my end, too, mainly that I don't have a car. I have to hire out a good friend for a ride, and that also gives in excuse for being gone since my parents don't want me to go out there for any reason. I'm also worried, as I said before, that she'll find me more attractive online than in person. I'm a decent-looking guy, a little out of shape but it's not very noticeable at all. My main problem is freezing up around girls that I like, and with her chances are it would happen. That's why it's good my friend is there, because he's talkative and would keep me that way, too. And, of course, I'm worried that B will do something drastic and not thought through. Oh, and that the LDR would be too hard to deal with. I'm willing to try, though, so only time will tell.

 

I guess I'm not really looking for advice, though any anyone can come up with is welcome. I just needed a place to sort out my thoughts and release some stress.

[Magnum1313]

Ok, wait, let me rephrase that. Yes, I am looking for advice. I just talked to her tonight to find out that her parents still haven't let up on her grounding, and there's no sign of it any time soon, which makes it terribly difficult to have any connection at all outside of the internet. Here's my question, does anybody here know any really good ways to get a grounding to be let up faster so we don't have to wait it out? I'm getting desperate here, it's starting to seem like I'll never get to see her again.

[AngelOfDarknes]

for her to suckup to her parents......do whatever they say blah i dunno lol

[Magnum1313]

I'd love to if that would work. She already warned me not to try her parents. One of her friends already tried that, I dunno what the results were other than it didn't work, I assume she got in more trouble because of it.