Very Annoyed with tenants in the house. Any advice here?

[JDMxTeGrA101]

My gf and I purchased a house last year and her friend from another state wanted to move to where we are. She told her she could stay with us since we have two vacant room downstairs. So the house is a shared kitchen. They've been here since November 2022. Its a mom and her 13 year old spoiled daughter. Anyways I had no problem with them staying at all but after 3 months of them living here, I'm super annoyed and want them out. My gf is her friend and even my gf is annoyed with her to the point where they dont even talk anymore and they used to be really close.  So our mortgage is about 4300 per month and the tenants pay 1800 which is more than good for a 2 bedroom with their own floor and every utilities/wifi included as the one bedroom apartments in our area go from 2200-2900.

My gf and I has been discussing this already and hope they get the clue that we want them out already. Here's what its been over the span of 3 months:

-The spoiled daughter has no manners at all (She would just come upstairs, not acknowledge anyone and especially when we had visitors, she took the whole cupcake box for her one time which was for guests)

-Spoiled daughter leaves the lights on downstairs even when not in use (The bathroom especially) My gf and I always have to turn it off. If we didn't turn it off, the bathroom light would be on all day and night till the mom is back from work. 

-In the span of 3 months, the mom has been using our supplies (Water, olive oil, rice,tupperware) and she hasn't bought her own. Its gotten so bad to the point where we leave our cases of water in our bedroom and not in the fridge since they would rather take our water than use the tap water from the fridge. My gf also purchased blankets for guests whenever we have them sleepover and her friend ended up taking them for her use and her daughter's use)

-The mom cleans her dishes but always leave residue on the sink like leftover rice etc.. (My gf already showed her how to clean mess like that)

-The mom hasn't once cleaned downstairs and their bathroom is super filthy. We were so embarrassed when we had visitors sleepover and use the restroom downstairs cause they said it was so dirty and clogged so we had to get a plumber to fix it. 

-The spoiled daughter would annoy the *** out of me cause she would order doordash delivery 3-4x a day while her mom is at work and we would get constant doorbells from these delivery guys. Also have to mention, she doesn't even tip them. (Would hate it if our house got targeted)

Here's the worst part.

The mom had her cousin and the wife sleepover three times in the span of 3 months. The first time was 2 nights, the second time was 3 nights, and the last time was last week for 4 nights. She only asked my gf if they could stay and the last time my gf told her to ask me if it was ok for them to sleep over as Im the owner of the house also. Guess what? She never asked me if it was ok and she let them sleep over anyway.

 

So these overnight guests cooked in our house, used our own supplies, dishes, kitchenware etc. They washed them but couldn't even put any of them back where they belong? And who ended up putting it back? Of course I did. The times they stay over at our place, they would do their laundry aswell. My gf complained to me about all of this and we just vent it to each other but not to her friend. 

Anyways my gf doesn't want to kick them out yet but she's hoping her friend started looking for another place and move out within the next few months since she senses that they dont want to be her anymore and I sure hope they do find a place soon. Any other advices from here?

 

 

 

 

[1a1a]

In your shoes I think I’d probably notify of a rent increase. To whatever amount would make you not mind picking up the slack. If they still want to keep living there, expect that they’ll keep doing what they do, tolerating peoples quirks is part of the deal of sharing your home. But now the financial savings are substantial enough you don’t mind. 
 

One thing you can do, set up home assistant. Then you can log in from anywhere that has internet and turn your lights off *wicked laugh* (and if they don’t have home assistant they won’t be able to turn them back on *even more wicked laugh* )

[DarkCh0c0]

2 hours ago, JDMxTeGrA101 said:

My gf and I has been discussing this already and hope they get the clue that we want them out already.

That's not how it works.

You have to be adults here and have that difficult conversation. You need to sit them down and give them their notice. Something in the line of "we'd like our space back to just us, and we we need you to vacate by X date".

No discussions on how they can't find an apartment, yadayadyada. You must rip the band-aid and only allow for logistical questions. Don't get sucked in their manipulation/pitty/negotiation tactics. Just give a reasonable notice and off they go. The friend is an adult who obviously knows people, so she'll figure this out on her own.

You gotta have the conversation. There's no running away from it. Learn to be firm and have solid boundaries. You got this.

[Wiseman2]

Since they are paying tenants they have rights. You'll need to give them adequate legal notice to move.

They're not houseguests so you can't restrict that much of what they do. Once you accept money, you accept certain conditions of their living habits. 

[Kwothe28]

Hey, I remember that story. You complained here few months ago about them moving in and we all told you that is exactly what is going to happen.

You dont control what they do and you dont have a firm set of rules and enforce them. So ofcourse they are running rampart. Also why would they leave? For a very small rent for your area, they get to have every freedom like they are in their own home where they set the rules. And they use that heavily. They would never leave because they couldnt find any better deal.

My solution: Say to them that this doesnt work for you and give them 3 months to find a new place. Its your home so that means its your rules, not theirs. You are entilted to say them that and give them some time to find a new place. Its more then fair to them.

[Wiseman2]

1 minute ago, Kwothe28 said:

. Its your home so that means its your rules, not theirs. 

Unfortunately once money is exchanged they have legal rights. Including kitchen privileges since they are paying and there are no private kitchen structures for them.

It makes it a business and legal arrangement even if there's no lease or contract.

They'll need adequate legal notice to move. It's unfair to take money from people who you don't really want in your house. It's going to create resentment.

[Kwothe28]

2 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Unfortunately once money is exchanged they have legal rights.

Legal yes. "Borrowing" your supplies and leaving dirt all over, no. That does not come under legal rights of the tennants lol

[Tinydance]

I remember you writing about this before that you didn't want them to move in even back then lol I think it's OK to have tennants to help you pay the mortgage but I did say in my original advice that it's better if the tennants are just strangers and not friends. Friends can sometimes get too familiar and take advantage and that's exactly what happened here. Also I said in my original post that it's probably not a good idea to live with a tween/teen because just due to their age they can be immature. 

The problem here also is that the mother pays you rent. So therefore her and her daughter are entitled to rights as tennants as well. They sound very rude and inconsiderate in terms of using your things and having people sleep over without letting you know. The daughter was extremely rude to take the whole box of cupcakes.

However let's just say you had people renting a house who both just rent and neither of them actually owns the house. It's important to be considerate and respectful but both people are entitled to the same rights. For example, you said you've had guests over and you've had people sleep over. So have they. You said they have downstairs to themselves and your guests used "their bathroom". So technically you've also had people staying that they don't know and they were coming into their bathroom with their things there. Probably even private things. 

You're annoyed that this woman and her daughter are living with you because you didn't even want them there in the first place. I understand it's annoying to have people stay over that they invite but they are actually allowed to do that. They pay rent and if you had different tennants they would be allowed to have people over too. Also the daughter is allowed to order Door Dash, as she's paying for that with her own money. If the Door Dash deliveries aren't at night and waking you up then as much as it's annoying but she's allowed to order them.

The problem is even if you got other tennants you might run into some of the same problems. Hopefully they would be more respectful and mature people but they would still have people over and could get food delivery or have a party and things like that. It's not exactly fair that just because you own the house, you can have people over, but they can't. When people rent a property it's actually "their" place, it's their home. You can impose some reasonable rules like "no noise after x time" but you can't not allow your tennants just to flat out not have guests, no food delivery, etc. Tennants have rights and if you don't want to give them those rights then you're better off not renting your place out.

[Batya33]

I agree this is simple and also hard to have the simple conversation.  Make it about logistics. I wouldn't try any more fixes as it's only getting worse.  I'm sorry. It would make me crazy too.

[Wiseman2]

6 hours ago, JDMxTeGrA101 said:

 our mortgage is about 4300 per month and the tenants pay 1800 which is more than good for a 2 bedroom  

Actually you are renting rooms with apparently some kitchen privileges, not "a 2BR" apt.  So this isn't such a great deal. You can't really compare complete private apartments with renting out 2 rooms .

All you and your GF need to do is give them adequate written notice. It's not a good idea to embark on a house share situation like this. 

[HeartGoesOn]

Was there a written agreement made before they moved in?  I'm not sure how that works, but it may be in your best interest to obtain legal advice.

At any rate, it rarely works out when two different families live under one roof.  Hopefully you can resolve this soon, and take it as a lesson learned.

[Tinydance]

Can you afford to be paying off your mortgage without having tennants in your house? I think you need to make a decision as to what is more important to you, to be making money on rent or to have your own space and privacy in your house.

I remember you saying in your first post that you were worried because in your house the kitchen is upstairs. You didn't want your partner's friend and her daughter just coming up to use the kitchen anytime because your bedroom is there. If you'll be renting out your house again I think you need to realise that by paying rent and bills, your tennants deserve the rights to things like using the kitchen, having guests and so on.

There can be rules and expectations set up and they have to be reasonable. For example, you could say to the tennants that they can't make noise in the kitchen or order food delivery after 10:00 p.m. This is because they would be keeping you awake at night. Or if they're going to have people over, to let you know first in advance. But the same rules would then apply to you. You would also have to let them know that you'd be having people over. 

For example, my best friend lives with three other people. They have a Facebook group chat where they discuss house matters. They have a rule that they let everyone know in the chat that they'll be having guests over. Also they have a noise curfew of no noise after 10:30 p.m.

Everyone in the house has equal rights, nobody has more privileges than anyone else. I think you would need to do the same with your tennants. If you act too much like: "my house, my rules" then your tennants can just find somewhere else to live. If you don't actually need the rent money then that's not a problem in that case and you don't need anyone to rent from you. But if you do need financial help with the mortgage then you'd need to accept having tennants there and putting up with them and their guests.

[Wiseman2]

3 minutes ago, Tinydance said:

. If you act too much like: "my house, my rules" then your tennants can just find somewhere else to live.  if you do need financial help with the mortgage then you'd need to accept having tennants there and putting up with them and their guests.

Yes. Also keep in mind that if you are not declaring rental income, or don't have zoning for a multifamily dwelling, they can cause problems if you don't follow appropriate ways to terminate their tenancy. Once you accept money you have some responsibilities. So it's not about bratty kids, it's about what is legal.